Hump Day Unicorn Chaser: I want to go to there, part 2

Baroque theater

I would happily live here in a sleeping bag, with a little Coleman stove to cook on. Of course, it’s not actually abandoned yet, so I’d have to start a rumour the seats were infected with the Ass Plague or something, but no great takeover was ever accomplished except by bold action.

OH, wait, another illusion shattered:

The set is an illusion that makes the stage look extremely deep… it’s actually quite small

But double wait: I think I’d rather live in a beautiful illusion, as long as I knew it was an illusion. Or maybe I already do.

Lyrics over the jump:

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Merry Fucking Christmas to you, too, Morticia

Morticia must be PMSing or something

Morticia must be PMSing or something

Fight it, girl! YOU CAN DO IT!

And so (somewhat abruptly) to our gossip links. These used to be more fun when they were cocktail themed, but, well, my liver and I are not on speaking terms right now.

Jesus has two Daddies! (Warning: extreme cuteness)(raincoaster)

John Cusack then whispered it to attack Piven’s hairpiece (Lolebrity)

Ho, ho, ho! It’s a very 70′s Christmas (Ayyyy)

The secret Santa/Ninja connection (ManoloFood)

Elf you! South Park style cards (AgentBedhead)

RyRey gets ready for me (BusyBeeBlogger)

Keira Knightly gives the men of the world the greatest Christmas present ever (CeleBitchy)

Least Likely Headline Ever: There’s No Paris Hilton Sex Tape (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Yes, the Brittany Murphy story is getting even creepier (EarSucker)

Vanessa Hudgens, Michael Jackson impersonator (FitFabCeleb)

Tiny Goth gnome hides under mushroom (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Zac Efron eats street meat (HaveUHeard)

Pauly D has World’s Worst Hair and His Own TV Show (INeedMyFix)

The 12 films of Christmas (Movieline)

Juiced Goths: it’s okay, you’ve still got your poetry

Goth Juice: Puree two Ministry fans...

Goth Juice: Puree two Ministry fans...

If you just can’t get enough of the taste of wormwood, I recommend this Goth Juice; made by the same, time-consuming process that brings you Baby Oil, our Goth Juice is entirely locally-sourced and free-range (at least from Venables to Broadway along The Drive). If you haven’t yet reached your bitterness quotient, check out these gossip links:

Eight Kilometers, the Justin Bieber Story (raincoaster)
John Cusack films a prequel (Lolebrity)
Paula Deen’s stoner burger (ManoloFood)
Saturday Catherinettes Caption Contest (Ayyyy)
Blade is his backup (AgentBackup)
Britney eats babies? (BusyBeeBlogger)
John Mayer’s latest victim (CeleBitchy)
The poor man’s Joaquin Phoenix hates Aniston too(CelebDirtyLaundry)
Unemployed senior gets a paying job! (CityRag)
Ginnifer Goodwin makes a slip-up (CojoStyle)
Gwyneth Paltrow is Gleeful (DailyStab)
Never Forget! (minor rock singers) (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Rihanna and Colin Farrell are so hot they crashed my Flash player (HaveUHeard)
The Eighties bite back! (INeedMyFix)
Isn’t 14 a bit young for support hose? (JustJared)
BritKink (PoorBritney)
Taylor Momsen Shakes and Bakes (SeriouslyOMG)
Emma Watson is an animal! (ASL)

Well, it’s better than listening to him

Mime Manson is a thousand times more articulate than the talky one

Mime Manson is a thousand times more articulate than the talky one

But seriously, the albums would be better as instrumentals, and perhaps dating Marlee Matlin would be better for him than dating Starlet-of-the-Moment-He-Promptly-Turns-Into-His-Ex-Wife. PLUS he could keep the same wardrobe.

Adolf Hitler, found at last? (raincoaster)

Who’s Sari now, Elizabeth Hurley? (Ayyyy)

Daniel Radcliffe is naked without it (Lolebrity)

Food porn, Yorkshire style (Manolofood)

I need this like I need another hole in the head (ManoloJewelry)

The Big O (GreenManolo)

Knit one, parle two! (CraftyManolo)

No lip from you! (ManoloBeauty)

Madonna has cooties! (AgentBedhead)

Enter the Soundgarden! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Katy Perry’s secret not so secret anymore (CelebDirtyLaundry)

The Dream Team: Cojo and Paula Abdul (CojoStyle)

Pastel on board! (DailyStab)

Get into Grace Kelly’s skirt! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Yes, Carrie Underwood, this makes your ass look fat (HaveUHeard)

Sexiest Men Alive, or: Your Christmas Shopping List (INeedMyFix)

Harry Potter wears Canadian makeup (FabSugar)

 

The Secret of Enjoying Life

Come on, GET FUCKING HAPPY!!!!

Jerry Lewis has the secret of happiness

Another quote o’ the day, this time one from HP Lovecraft, never known as a barrel of laughs at the best of times, but one of the very sharpest knives in all the cutlery drawer.

And he said, of an acquaintance…

He enjoys life — as do all who are spared the curse of intelligence.

Thinkabowdit. All I’m sayin’.