NOT mine, fools! Mr. Defamer’s!
That’s Mr. Defamer, mascot of Gawker Media’s famed Defamer. I thought for the longest time that it was Bob Evans, now-geriatric poster boy for Hollywood excess, workoholism, and assoholism. Then one day Defamer got a makeover and suddenly (as happens so often in these cases) I saw it in a different light. I realized that this man, whoever he was, was no more Bob Evans than he was Bob Roberts.
So I conducted an investigation, involving gruelling seconds of emailing the editor at Defamer and asking, “so who’s that guy, Mr. Defamer Guy?” After many a long minute of uncertainty, I had my answer.
from Mark Lisanti to me
Mr Defamer is Charles Boyer. God, I wish we’d used Evans. Maybe we’ll
switch him in one day.
From Vancouver’s favorite street hooker advocate, ex-prostitute, ex-city council council candidate, ex-current-and-future madam, and ex-man, Jamie Lee Hamilton.
MEAT n MIX Hi All,
Just a reminder that next Friday May 26 is our Meat n Mix at the Lotus – 455 Abbott Street. As usual from 6-9pm.
Besides our meat draws, we will have Queen for a day. I have met a wonderful make-up artist named Sam, who is going to demonstrate to us all his hot make-up tips for the summer. We will draw a ticket for the lovely lady who will be Queen for a day as Sam and myself will do a complete make-up/transformation on stage. You will be ready to strut the night away after at one of your fav spots.
Since summer is approaching those new make-up colours need to be explored. Sam will have on hand his brand of Mac, Dior and Estee Lauder. I’ve already ordered a number of his products.
As usual, funds raised for Meat n Mix will go toward One-Woman NGO. Remember there is no charge to come to Meat n Mix. I really hope Colleen shows this time. If anyone has seen Colleen please tell her all work and no play does not make for Queen for a Day!
See you on Friday May 26 in the Mix pub for Makeover Meat n Mix from 6-9pm.
PS all you guys need to attend as well cuz Sam will offer skin care advice for you. Cheers
If they'll buy the premise, they'll buy the bit, right?
So Peter's left to go back East to college. To study uh, to study uh, to study paleodentistry with Professor Grizelda at Miskatonic U. It is his keenest ambition to head up the glee club, and we feel certain he will one day achieve this dream, despite the Professor's weird possessiveness.
Meanwhile, back atthe Malibu beach shack, Mike, Mickey and Davy get their big break…
on the Johnny Cash show.
Yep, seems Johnny's a real fan of Mike's slick country stylings and is dying to have them on the show. So…here the boys are, performing – well okay, here Mike is, performing Nine Times Blue while Mickey and Davy look on and try to nod as if they're enjoying it. This illusion is assisted, in Davy's case, by the fact that he is as drunk as a skunk, and in Mickey's case by the chemicals used to give him the white-fro and the other ones he apparently ingested shortly before taking the stage.
No doubt this is the key to appreciating country music; I shall make a note of it.
Afterwards, Johnny and the boys hang out and shoot the shit. I think Davy's coming on to Johnny, but then who wouldn't? Watch that leg, buddy! Afterward, they break into "Everybody Loves a Nut." Well, at least 10% of men do.
Then it's time for a word from our sponsors. Oops, no rest for the wicked! Looks like the boys are under contract and the studio's getting it's money's worth out of them!
Bidding Johnny a tearful farewell, particularly on Davy's part, they have to really move tail in the Monkeemobile to get to their next gig, as the warmup act at a Tony Robbins motivational seminar. With go-go dancers. If you doubt, check it out! It's summer break time, so Peter, back home for the holidays, reunites with the band. Ain't it groovy?
The fact that this video is totally out of synch with the audio doesn't actually matter; Davy was never a very good dancer to begin with, and back then they just didn't have the lipsynching technology that's enabled the rise of, say, Britney Spears. Just add lysergic acid until it all makes sense.
Then they hustle off to the studio to help Joan Crawford record a public service announcement about the importance of good housekeeping. No wire hangers! She develops an obsessive crush on Mike, so the boys pretend he's infested with constipation-causing parasites, pretend to be medics from a MASH unit, and evacuate.
Wow, after that don't we all need a good de-lousing or at least a nice Christmas carol?
Remember the eternal truths: Love is all you need, and everybody looks better in a maroon pirate-sleeved shirt.
raincoaster 