For those art aficionados among us

Sculpture is a paradoxical medium. Often provoking (It looks like Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug, but it isn’t really Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug, wow, that’s confusing, y’all. Art is hard!) yet equally often irresistably attracting, it confounds as it engages. We adore, yet we recognize the falsehood inherent in the artist’s physical manifestation of an actual, yet independent subject; do we worship, or abhor?

Sometimes both. Two-part post. Sometimes the difference between appreciation and loathing just comes down to a point of view.

 Britney giving Birth

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Today in the Barely-Acceptable Jokes Corral

Thomas the Tank EngineA mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you bastards who want off, get the fuck off now, cause we're in a hurry! and all of you bastards who are getting on, get the fuck on, cause we're going down the tracks".

The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one."

She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added……….

"For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat bitch in the kitchen."

The Five Fists of Science

The Five Fists of Science 

Is this not the whackest shizzle you evah seen, niggaz? (is that how that is pronounced? I'm using an online translator here, cut me some slack) A snip from the Boingboing post:

Matt Fraction shares a sneak-preview of his forthcoming graphic novel, The Five Fists of Science, starring Mark Twain and Nikola Tesla in a race to save the world from Thomas Edison and J.P Morgan. "Best part? It's true. Almost," says Matt.

You know some underachieving physics grad is going to be living his dreams through this.

Back cover copy. If you listen closely, you can hear Thomas Dolby, I swear:

SCIENCE!
No longer the realm of the fop, the dandy, or the physicist!
SCIENCE!
No longer the purview of landed gentry or the monied upper classes
SCIENCE is TODAY! SCIENCE is NOW!
SCIENCE IS FOR YOU!

Come one and come all, to this, a grand old adventure
in a brand new tradition
the penny dreadful
the pulp adventure
the escapist fantasy
the pictotrash compendium
THE GRAPHIC NOVEL
THE FIVE FISTS OF SCIENCE

join
MR. MARK TWAIN
(aka Samuel Clemens)
— and —
MR. NIKOLA TESLA
(aka Master of Lightning)
in a white knuckle thriller
AS THEY SAVE THE VERY WORLD

not recommended for the soft or the sissy
the weak at heart
or
the dull of mind

THE FIVE FISTS
of SCIENCE!
TWAIN! TESLA!
AMERICA:
You cannot spell “action & adventure” without
T & T
!!!

As told by Messers Fraction & Sanders, Kansas City, Missouri
and published by Image Comics, Berkeley, CA.

AT LONG LAST
SCIENCE FOR THE COMMON MAN
SCIENCE FOR THE WORKING MAN
SCIENCE FOR EVERY MAN!
Fear it! Feel it!

THE FIVE FISTS
of SCIENCE!
Do you dare
READ IT?

Recipe of the Day

Deep-Fried Cadbury’s Easter Cream EggsCream Eggs

Someone call Nigella and Britney too: these have got to be hallucinogenically, mind-alteringly good. It’s true, they’re nothing more than cheap, filling-ringing chocolate surrounding a mass of sticky white cavity juice with an unidentifiable but still carbiferous and dentist-horrifying yellow center. Battered. And. Deep. Fried. Geniuosity! As they say, is there a better way to celebrate the death and resurrection of Our Lord, Jesus Christ, than with these sinfully tempting morsels?

Squidsicle

Now for some frozen cephalopoddy goodness. Looks like this Giant Squid, caught off the coast of New Zealand last year, has finally gone on public display.Aussie Giant Squid In contrast to the public coming-out of Archie the London Giant Squid, Damien Hirst’s people were not consulted. Perhaps a bit of We’ll Show Those Toffeenosed Poms A Thing Or Two About Publicly Exhibiting Your Squid…I’m sure no-one on Earth with any degree of experience doubts either the ability or the inclination of Aussies to publicly exhibit their squid at the slightest provocation.

This Squid was frozen in a block of remarkably clear ice. Really, how do they get it like that? It would soooo improve the look of my cocktails if I could just get all the bubbles out, or force them to form pretty patterns or something, like maybe a monkey wearing a fez. Really, is there any illustration of a monkey that isn’t improved by the addition of a fez? I think not.

 

Giant Squid. It’s a blog entry about Giant Squid.

 

This poor bugger doesn’t even have a name. I wonder, when they brought him into the country, if they even gave him a prisoner number! I wonder, too, given that the critter is huge, terrifying, and originally from New Zealand, if Peter Jackson has signed up the film rights? Does this Squid have an agent?

 

Here’s the hot poop on the cold Squid:

The 7 metre squid is frozen in time in the world’s largest man-made block of ice and is on display as part of the Monsters of the Deep exhibit. The exhibit also features live cuttlefish, bioluminescent fish and octopus hidden in dark, eerie caves and rare footage of a live Humboldt Squid, filmed off the coast of Mexico.

Awesome! How did I miss this??? Is it too late to book a ticket?

Over the decades, tales of the Giant Squid have ranged from just a little creepy to absolutely mind-boggling! One of the most amazing stories is that witnessed by the crew of a Soviet tanker in 1965, which came across a battle between arch enemies, the Giant Squid and the Sperm Whale. The fight continued for some time and finished far below in the depths of the ocean. Eventually the strangled body of the 40 tonne whale was found floating with the Giant Squid still wrapped around its body. But the Squid did not win – its head was later found inside the stomach of the whale!

Find out about other stories like this at Melbourne Aquarium, where historical newspaper articles will be on display, revealing more chilling escapades of the Giant Squid and other Monsters of the Deep. Giant Aussie Squid On Ice