Britney(?) sex tape not Britney

Britney says hi boys!Awwww. Turns out that the rumoured “Britney sex tape” isn’t Britney. Fleshbot has the final word, as well as the actual video, so satisfy your… curiosity yeah, that’s it, curiosity, with this link.

But on the other hand, the hopes and dreams of millions of men who were kinda sorta hoping she’d be better at giving head are preserved.

The Democrats have the House.

The Democrats may take the Senate

Rummy is out of a job.

And Britney Spears is a free woman and could, possibly, be really good at giving head.

It’s Springtime in America!

hi K-Fed, u b Fed-Ex now lol

This is simply charming. Perez Hilton, Canuckistan‘s favorite Cuban, has posted this footage of K-Fed on MuchMusic the day before Britney filed the big D on his sorry wigger ass. He spent the entire day with a camera crew clamped to his leg like a shackle, filming some reality show nobody’s ever heard of, this episode of which has just increased in value by a factor of twenty.

If I and the entire magnitude of Canada, gay America, and Gawker Media (some overlap here, admittedly) are not mistaken, the text message he receives over dinner contains the tender “Dear K-Fed, bye y’all” message the world has so long waited for. Watch and judge for yourself.

Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

Britney Spears(?) sex tape trailer

hey y'all! I'm not trashy!

UPDATE: golly, this sure seems to be a popular post. Wonder if anyone will read the rest of our posts about Britney and this notorious video.

Yup, yesterday she lost her claim that the very rumour of the tape’s existence is defamatory (judge’s reasoning: come on people, she’s Britney Spears! Like she wouldn’t bang the hell out of her husband on tape while he watched the playoffs or something. Puh-leeze!) and today, the first full day of her official long march to divorce, nineteen seconds of that rumoured to be alleged Britney Spears reported “sex tape” has been posted to PornoTube, and is up on Fleshbot.

Verdict: sure looks like her, in her black-haired phase. This was, therefore, and completely hypothetically, post-impregnation, somewhere around the time of the Harper’s Bazaar cover shot, meaning Britney, if it was Britney, would have been six or more months along. UPDATE: Titania on Gawker notes that her hair was dyed dark for her wedding as well, so this could be from the honeymoon. You can’t tell from this part; you don’t get to see the woman’s body. And you can’t see the guy’s face at all…that’s not where the camera and the woman are focused, if you get my meaning, nudge nudge.

Come one, come all. Or rather, “y’all.”

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quote o’ the day: life lessons from The Avengers

steed and peelpassed along by Archie from something he saw on the web:

Mrs. Peel taught me that strength and confidence are even more feminine than finding the perfect outfit and Mr. Steed taught me that a man shines most brilliantly when he doesn’t block the light of the woman sitting next to him.”

imprisoned video blogger accepts award

He's watching...Do you know the tale of Josh Wolf? He’s a video blogger who filmed people taking part in a protest and who was then ordered to turn over his footage to a Grand Jury investigating the protest. He refused, citing journalistic privilege, and promptly found out the government doesn’t consider videocasters to be journalists, at least not when it doesn’t want to. He’s currently serving his indefinite sentence in Dublin, California; he’s been told he’ll be released when the Grand Jury ends, which is projected for July of next year.

At the recent Vloggie Awards, Josh won the People’s Choice Award for Best Male Vlogger (they split these things up by gender? You’ve got to be kidding me!) and his video, All Empires Must Fall, won the Judge’s Choice Award for Most Controversal Video, which it undoubtably was. The goverment declined to let Josh out to pick up his award, figuring no doubt that someone there would surely throw a blanket over him and smuggle him offshore to some copyright-free banana republic, from whence he would fire YouTubes of such intensity that they would shake the very foundation of the nation.

Or maybe they just thought nah, fuck ‘im!

In any case, Josh‘s big day came and went with no Josh, but with a letter written from prison and read out on the podium, and here it is, although Robert Scoble had it first.

It seems like mere moments ago that I was here in this venue for blogger con. I remember telling my story about how the federal government was trying to send me to prison for refusing to turn over my unpublished material and testify in front of a grand jury for asserting that I am a journalist, and for refusing to be an agent for the government by providing intelligence to aid in an anarchist witch hunt. Some were shocked by my story, others were not surprised that the government would go to such lengths, and still others maintained disbelief, preferring to think of me as the boy who cried wolf, rather than opening themselves up to the idea that their government would do such a thing.

That weekend at vlogger con was one of the best in my life. It was euphoric getting to hang out and party with so many stellar individuals, and I am disheartened that I can only join you in sprit to tonight. I’ve always heard that the best par t of award shows are the after parties and I’m sure that it will be a rocking good time. I’ll be there for the next one.

Thanks for the awards guys. It feels good to know that I’ve been able to stir up a bit of controversy in the blogosphere and I’m touched by being awarded best male blogger.

I’d like to thank everyone who has blogged or vlogged about my situation, whether you are in agreement with what I’m doing or not, and I’d also like to thank everyone who has supported me throughout this endeavor, whether its through sending me books or letters, donating money to my legal fund or helping out with my blog, wiki or the various projects I’ve been involved with.

Thank you all and have fun tonight I’ll be out soon enough.