Category Archives: Fans

Steve Irwin news roundup

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TIAI think I’ve got it all, pretty much. Here are all the posts on this blog about Steve Irwin’s death. A warning to the curious: I am completely, utterly without sense of taste or discretion. Click at your peril.

Steve Irwin, R.I.P. Steve’s FedEx commercial. The news hits.

A Steve Irwin Tribute. Just what it says, something I wrote about my awestruck regard for the man.

No State Funeral for Steve Irwin. Australia offers, the Thumbs up from Steve!family declines. He was just a “regular bloke.” Yeah, but he was the best one.

Stingray apologizes for killing Steve Irwin. And about bloody time, too.

Steve Irwin wants you to watch THAT video. This is for real, or so this website says. Apparently he wanted his death to be broadcast, should it happen on-camera. No official word from the family yet, though.

Today in gruesomely decayed sea monster news. Russia has a sea monster, and here are the pix. Okay, it’s way tasteless of me to do it in Stevespeak, but this is the way Steve WOULD have reported it, if he weren’t dead.

UPDATE:

Would You Watch Steve Irwin Die? Apparently it’s true: Steve wanted his death filmed. But he didn’t actually SAY he wanted it broadcast, so what’s the right thing to do?

About the only thing he did NOT do in real life

lonelygirl15 is the new JT LeRoy/James Frey/Kaavya Viswanathan

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 lonelygirl15from the New York Times via Gawker.JT LeRoy, another imaginary person

<— lonelygirl15 became a bit of a thang on the Internets recently for her cool, articulate, and moving video blogs about teen angst, hope, fear, and honesty.

Too bad she’s fake.James Frey, a million little whoppers

Honestly, “the lighting is better than most vlogs” is all the critics could come up with before this mea culpa. Did not one person notice that her makeup was professionally done as well? Very few 15-year-olds are that good with the cover stick. This is an historic day in Fake Artistedom.

Isn’t it some kind of felony to impersonate a teenager online? KV, can't be bothered to look up the spelling. After all, who needs to know who she is anymore?I thought the FBI had agents on that…

A Message From The Creators

To Our Incredible Fans,

Thank you so much for enjoying our show so far. We are amazed by the overwhelmingly positive response to our videos; it has exceeded our wildest expectations. With your help we believe we are witnessing the birth of a new art form. Our intention from the outset has been to tell a story– A story that could only be told using the medium of video blogs and the distribution power of the internet. A story that is interactive and constantly evolving with the audience.

Right now, the biggest mystery of Lonelygirl15 is “who is she?” We think this is an oversimplification. Lonelygirl15 is a reflection of everyone. She is no more real or fictitious than the portions of our personalities that we choose to show (or hide) when we interact with the people around us. Regardless, there are deeper mysteries buried within the plot, dialogue, and background of the Lonelygirl15 videos, and many of our tireless and dedicated fans have unearthed some of these. There are many more to come.

To enhance the community experience of Lonelygirl15, which you have already helped to create, we are in the process of building a website centered around video and interactivity. This website will allow everyone to enjoy the full potential of this new medium. Unfortunately, we aren’t programmers. We are filmmakers. We are working furiously to complete the website, and hope to have it up and running shortly.

So, sit tight. You are the only reason for our success, and we appreciate your devotion. We want you to know that we aren’t a big corporation. We are just like you. A few people who love good stories. We hope that you will join us in the continuing story of Lonelygirl15, and help us usher in an era of interactive storytelling where the line between “fan” and “star” has been removed, and dedicated fans like yourselves are paid for their efforts. This is an incredible time for the creator inside all of us.

Thank you.

Yes, and it’s an even more incredible time for the bullshit detector inside all of us.

Steve Irwin wants you to watch THAT video

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not this one:

No, he wants you to watch the video of him getting killed by a stingray.

I. Am. Serious.

Even dead, Steve Irwin has more raw character than an entire continent! Let’s take a look at what the man reportedly said:

Irwin once stated, “My number one rule is to keep that camera rolling. Even if it’s shaky or slightly out of focus, I don’t give a rip.

“Even if a big old alligator is chewing me up I want to go down and go, ‘Crikey!’ just before I die. That would be the ultimate for me.”

Now, unnamed sources talking to websites I’m not familiar with aren’t the world’s most reliable news outlets. Still, I’m posting this because it sounds exactly like what he would have said, and I’m entirely sure that if he did say that, the commentors will hunt it down and give me date/time/audio. Also, if he didn’t, that a raincoaster alliance of commentors and moi will hunt down and destroy that website.

UPDATE: Yes, it’s true.

Steve, don't you think you shouldn't do that with an open wound? You smell like chum.

THE definitive YouTube Manifesto!!!

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from culturekiller, creator of the immortal Simpsons/Star Trek theremin/Rhodes piano/kitchen funnel mashup, which got him a million or so views; this gonzo nutbar knows what the hell he’s talking about.

You like the big brother huh? You dig rubbish TV and Jessica Simpson, don’t ya? You hate culture huh? I’ll give you antiCulture.

Sheer genius.

Operation Global Media Domination: the network situation

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TIASince Hurricane Lucy Gao hit, stats haven’t been nearly as much fun to check as usual. They’ve been bigger, juicier, and technically more exotic, but only half as much fun, because I always know that my top posts are going to be Lucy Gao‘s email, Lucy Gao doesn’t need a PA, she needs an enema, and Lucy Gao Revealed, plus Beautiful Agony, the Mentos boys, and Blackzilla, which I did not realize was the name of a popular line of porn flicks when I posted it.

No, really. I didn’t.

But now it looks like the hurricane is finally winding down, and to that I say it is ABOUT FUCKING TIME!

Yes, I liked having 3300 hits a day. I liked being the #2 blog on WordPress. But I’d rather be loved for my entire blog than just for five frickin’ posts, people!!! What good is it being the Pavarotti of the goddam blogosphere if all people ever see is Lucy Fucking Gao and their beloved mango porn??? Eh? I ask you that!

In any case, it appears that the storm has abated and I have managed to keep nearly 50% of my new readers, although 10% of them have only come by googling “vanityfair.com,” for which I am the #2 result. And I’m kidding myself if I think I don’t owe it, in some sense, to Lucy Freaking Gao, who even got me a link from CBS News, FFS y’all! Even though it’s only half as good for hits as a link from the front page of WordPress. Shhhh, don’t tell the producers!

I have also learned, from my comments on Chartreuse and Guido‘s blogs, that references to the size of one’s breasts are excellent for hits, although moreso with Americans than with Brits. Benny Hill was born in the wrong country, Itellya.

In any case, I am inexpressably grateful to Graydon Carter and Vanity Fair for knocking that snobbish intern off her throne and giving me, at last, some surprises in the Stats page.

Hail our new #1 post! (which we know we owe entirely to people searching for Suri Cruise pix, but we’re not real choosy over here if you haven’t already noticed)