The South Atlantic Oceanic Bulldog Discovered!

It’s only Tuesday and it’s already proving to be perhaps the most historic week in bulldog history since Karsh took that classic portrait.

Only a few days ago this blog broke news of the rediscovery of the lost French Plaid Bulldog or Le Bouledogue Français Écossais, and now comes news of a new Bulldog Breakthrough, this one a shocking 20,000 leagues under of the sea!


Married To The Sea

Britney Spears’s favorite sex tape: I Love You Cheetos!

Nine minutes of the most hardcore, cheez-food-product-dusted, size queeniest, sock wearingest action ever to grace the intertubes. This may not be safe for work, and it certainly isn’t safe for lunch. Make sure your digestive tract is clean before clicking Play.

From Jeff Ostergren, via Fleshbot

Those zombies on his site? Don’t look like my zombies. And the brains likewise; no wonder his zombies are so underfed and peaked looking!

Britney Spears: Gimme More Jelly Babies!

And now for something completely trivial: a unicorn chaser if you will.

Looks like Britney‘s come to terms with the fact that her post-childbirth figure will never return to the sveltitide of her Oops I Did It Again days. This new version of her comeback hit Gimme More is even more scandalous than the stripper-pole-themed original, as all the dancers in this version are completely naked, save for a tantalizing dusting of powdered sugar.

Wonder how she sneaked THAT past the censors at YouTube!

via UKPopSugar

(I always feel bad when I leave them out of the Ayyyy.com link roundup, because they always link back to us, but there’s only so much I can do with Jordan and Beth Ditto, ya know?)

when chickens go bad

Rumsfeld and a chickenLongtime fans of the ol’ raincoaster blog will recall the somewhat…epic consequences of a bad oyster. There is, presumably, no need for us to go there again, even from the comforting distance of the far end of a laparoscope. Given the devastating effect that only a small invertebrate can have, a simple act of extrapolation is all that is necessary to comprehend the potential tsunami of destruction that could result, were this principle to be extended to larger, more complex creatures.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that the nightmare is real. The nightmare, my friends, has landed.

In Connecticut.

Authorities in Connecticut are wondering who stuffed a raw roasting chicken with a pipe bomb and left it on a roadside…the Hartford Police Department’s bomb squad came and blew up the chicken.

Chickens, gentle readers, are not born suicide bombers. No indeed; most chickens have not a thought in their heads beyond scratching out a living, or passing the time of day with one another by speculating about the possible effect of gravity on the celestial dome. It is perhaps this philosophical streak which brought the bird above to her ultimate doom; she had no recorded links with either radical Islam or the IRA.

In contrast, some birds give their whole lives selflessly to ensure that human beings the world over do not go hungry. Once they’ve met the stringent criteria for joining the Colonel‘s army, these big-breasted chicks travel the world, serving populations as disparate as those of the Upper East Side and downtown Davao. But, while most famous of poultry devoted to humanity’s welfare, they are not alone.

In news the world has been waiting for since the dawn of medical science, it has just been announced that Peking Duck cures cancer and heart disease!

An extract of red yeast rice, which gives Peking duck its distinctive colour, may cut cancer deaths by two-thirds and heart disease by a third.Red yeast rice has been used in China for thousands of years as a preservative and as a herbal medicine for 1,000 years…
It is the colouring ingredient used widely in Chinese food and is found in pickled tofu, Peking duck and some types of red-coloured Japanese sake. The rice is fermented by adding a red yeast, monascus purpureus, with alcohol before removing the rice gluten.
Used medicinally, it has been known to improve blood circulation and aid digestion.
Sake too? Sake to me!

Quiz: what’s your ice cream personality?

Oh yeah, this is dead-on, especially about the modesty. I’m the most modest person there is or ever has been or will be throughout the entirety of time and space. Yep.


Your Ice Cream Personality:


You like to think of yourself as a fairly modest person. And it’s true that you don’t talk yourself up… but you’re also pretty happy with who you are.

You have a wild reputation, but you’re not as wild as you seem. You take risks, but only measured risks.

You are a fairly open minded person with a wide range of tastes. You are quite accepting of unusual ideas and people.

You are a natural multitasker. You feel alive when you’re doing more than one thing at a time.

You can be a big dramatic and over the top sometimes. You are bold in every way