How’s THAT for a title?

Yes, Rodney Scott McLagan of Hobart, Australia, hereinafter and for the rest of his natural life at the very least known as Octopus Sex Man, has been released from custody with a $1500 fine and a suspended four-month sentence for possessing 31,000 images of pony, snake, dog, tiger and octopus porn.

Said the judge:

“Without the opportunity for normal sexual relationships fantasy is often indulged. It also emerges from the report that you are particularly self-conscious about your teeth.”

It is reportedly the first case of British teeth being responsible for a shokushu goukan fetish. Still, better that than throwing him back to try to swim in the human gene pool; It’s polluted enough in those waters. The Zeta Male is (surprisingly, given his usual body composition) the very opposite of buoyant.

I suppose that’s why he likes the bottom-feeding octopus.

The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife