vengence is mine, saith raincoaster

Satan's Alarm ClockThanks to the ever-resourceful and only seemingly-benevolent Colin in the WP forums, I now have a timely, sensitive, and highly effective method of payback the next time I’m stuck at a public computer beside some mouthbreathing, grunting microcephaloid. Or the next time you are!

Make sure the offending lower life form can see your monitor. Close your eyes in a moment of prayer, perhaps moving your lips slightly in an inaudible entreaty. Then sigh deeply, look heavenward, and hit this link:

launch

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job postings of the Great Satan

War is PeaceIt comes as no surprise to those of us in other nations that the United States needs professional help.

They have recently begun advertising for it.

Unfortunately, while the advertising gives every indication that this is a good old-fashioned show business audition in that great Hollywood Baby-I-Can-Make-You-A-Star tradition, the bait and switch factor here is of a standard of viciousness that would give even CAA pause.

They’re actually looking for “Arabic-looking people” to play the enemy in live war games. Oops, did we not mention that? Sowee!

They came with dreams of working on a movie set, or at the very least of earning some respectable cash as a walk-on extra, encouraged by a mysterious advertisement printed recently in a Berlin tabloid.

But the reality was different for dozens of Arab-speaking applicants at a supposed casting session, only to be told they were wanted to play Iraqis and Afghans in a US wargame planned for later this month.

I can certainly see the War Games Marketing Manager vetoing a “apply here to get treated like Iraqis by the US Army” format, but a little more disclosure and, perhaps, a lot more cash, might have resulted in an uptake ratio greater than the reported four out of dozens.

…many turned back at the door when asked: “Do you have anything against working for Americans?” …One Moroccan man refused to take part, saying: “I will not help the Americans hurt my brothers…”

“We’re looking for more realism,” said Reggie Bourgeois, executive officer of the US Army’s Joint Multinational Readiness Center (JMRC) in Bavaria. “The more actual culture we can inject into the exercise the better it is for our soldiers.”

“After all, we’re in the business of dealing with the culture.”

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quiz: how nerdy r u?


You Are 56% Nerdy


You may be a bit surprised with this score, but your more of a closet nerd than an actual nerd.
Stop denying your inner nerd! You’re truly dorkier than you think.

How Nerdy Are You?

On the advice of counsel I have no comment at this time…

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It’s SuperOctopus!

Stolen from Pharyngula.

Tremoctopus is obviously ready to step up and take the place of the now sadly-fallen Captain America. Now for a name…Doc Oc is taken. The Masked Mollusc? Too bad it’s not a Squid: Captain Calamari has a nice ring to it.

Thank you, I’ll be here all week. Have the veal… 

This type of Tremoctopus, or blanket octopus, has a unique way of escaping from predators. When threatened, the octopus unfurls a giant sheet of webbing that trails behind like a cape. The webbing breaks apart rather easily when attacked — much like a lizard’s tail — and it gets wrapped around the predator’s face, giving the octopus a chance to flee.

You should see the migrating blanket Tree Octopodia in the Springtime. In years gone by the sky would be darkened with the herds moving North for the summer, gliding silently over the Cascadian rainforest as the grizzlies and pumas cowered below. A more majestic sight the world has never witnessed but, like the carrier pigeon, a precious jewel only too easily lost.

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how is a bagel like a vagina?

I’m serious here. Some misguided Midwestern bagel shop decided that nothing says “fun atmosphere” like baked goods reminiscent of a mummy’s ladyblossom.

vagina bagel

So, how, exactly, would a bagel like a vagina be a good thing? How could a bagel be like a vagina?

You know where the Comments button is…use it. We await your filthy offerings with baited breath.

Oh, tuna salad is an option…

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