lamb/sheep/python turducken

You know what a turducken is, don’t you? It’s that rare delicacy formed by stuffing a dead animal with another dead animal, which has itself been stuffed with a dead animal, etc etc etc, which is, finally stuffed with junk food. Kinda like Britney Spears. My mother had a recipe like this that began with a sparrow centre and concluded with a layer of camel, but then, my mother was untraditional in the extreme.

Well this Malaysian python decided that he was gonna save some poor, hardworking chef all that trouble, and went for it himself.

Behold the python that swallowed a ewe.
What’s he to do? He swallowed a ewe.
He swallowed a ewe too massive to chew.
The ewe was expectin’, so he swallowed two.
Then up he threw.

Python Ewe Lamb Turducken for table #4!!!

Sesame Street fires “Audit Me Elmo”

Sesame Street lets go of its ‘top gun’

Newsflash from the Pittsburgh Tribune By Eric Heyl
TRIBUNE-REVIEW
Friday, September 22, 2006

Weary of his increasingly erratic behavior, Sesame That's right; his agent is with CAA!Street producers will not extend the contract of the program’s most popular muppet.Gary Knell, CEO of Sesame Workshop, the parent company of the popular PBS program, told The Wall Street Journal yesterday that he is severing ties with Elmo.

“As much as we like him personally, we thought it was wrong to renew his deal,” Knell said. “His recent conduct has not been acceptable to Sesame Street.”

Knell would not elaborate. But those close to the show indicated PBS had grown increasingly irritated over Elmo’s public embrace of Scientology.

Nor was the network happy when Elmo, in an interview with NBC’s Matt Lauer, launched a blistering attack on the use of antidepressants to combat postpartum depression.

The final straw, industry sources said, was Elmo signing off on his spastic new likeness, TMX Elmo, which was unveiled Tuesday.

Parodying the panic-stricken movements of a typical choking victim, the latest Elmo doll doubles over, falls on its back and kicks its legs before finally rising — cackling hysterically all the while.

“It completely undignified. It unbecoming of muppet who supposedly has intellectual acuity of 3-year-old,” said a source close to Sesame Street who is not the Cookie Monster.

To Sesame Street and PBS executives, the doll also rekindled disturbing memories of Elmo‘s controversial appearance last year onOprah.” The doll behaves much as Elmo did on the talk show when he passionately and clumsily declared his love for his onscreen romantic interest, the furry orange creature Zoe.The couple since have spawned a young daughter, Silli, while denying persistent rumors that the child’s father actually is the lovable blue muppet Grover.

The powerful Creative Artists Agency, which represents Elmo and many of Hollywood‘s other A-list stars, termed the firing “graceless and uncouth.”

“This is no way to treat an artist,” a CAA release stated. “This unconscionable action will cause brightly colored and highly marketable children’s puppets everywhere to question whether they would want to work for an outfit that does this to its greatest asset.”

Producers reportedly are involved in serious negotiations with Brad Pitt to replace Elmo in the upcoming sequel to the hit film “Elmo in Grouchland.” The anticipated action blockbuster’s working title is “Return to Grouchland: Oscar’s Days of Rage.”

Elmo reads his press

new ‘out of office’ replies

from Raj:

this one works for me

New Out of Office Replies:

1. I am currently away from my desk, beating my head against the wall. Your message will be replied to once I have reached a level of numbness
sufficient to cloud my vision to the point I am able to formulate an appropriate response to your request.

2. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

3. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the
order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this one is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. I’ve run away to join a different circus.

9. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Martha’ instead of ‘Marvin’.

cartoon o’ the day: Cathy remixed

from Squid vs Unicorn, via Gawker, from whence I am not banned. Did I mention that?

Cathy remixed

question o’ the day

TIAWhat does a commenter have to do to get banned around here?

Geez, I thought it was a lock!