I mean, what IS that? Those bottom ones look like emo piranhas posing for the poster for Silence of the Lambs. As for the top one, it looks like the guy who semi-stalked me my first year at UBC.

The frondy first fish actually looks to be some sort of sculpin, otherwise known by the Inuit, who know an ugly fish when they see one, as the Ugly Fish. They are very no-nonsense, these Innu. But it is not this kind of sculpin, which is 7% alcohol. Even fish can’t drink that much.

Strangely, neither of these species made the list of Ten Ugliest Fish.