Eight kilometers: the Justin Bieber story

Revealed at last, the seedy back story to the greatest musical phenomenon of our time, the firebrand known as Justin Bieber. Brace yourself: the viewer warning says “contains Canadian idioms.”

Well, it’s better than listening to him

Mime Manson is a thousand times more articulate than the talky one

Mime Manson is a thousand times more articulate than the talky one

But seriously, the albums would be better as instrumentals, and perhaps dating Marlee Matlin would be better for him than dating Starlet-of-the-Moment-He-Promptly-Turns-Into-His-Ex-Wife. PLUS he could keep the same wardrobe.

Adolf Hitler, found at last? (raincoaster)

Who’s Sari now, Elizabeth Hurley? (Ayyyy)

Daniel Radcliffe is naked without it (Lolebrity)

Food porn, Yorkshire style (Manolofood)

I need this like I need another hole in the head (ManoloJewelry)

The Big O (GreenManolo)

Knit one, parle two! (CraftyManolo)

No lip from you! (ManoloBeauty)

Madonna has cooties! (AgentBedhead)

Enter the Soundgarden! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Katy Perry’s secret not so secret anymore (CelebDirtyLaundry)

The Dream Team: Cojo and Paula Abdul (CojoStyle)

Pastel on board! (DailyStab)

Get into Grace Kelly’s skirt! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Yes, Carrie Underwood, this makes your ass look fat (HaveUHeard)

Sexiest Men Alive, or: Your Christmas Shopping List (INeedMyFix)

Harry Potter wears Canadian makeup (FabSugar)

 

Hump Day Unicorn Chaser: Wishery by Pogo

You know what I love? Fairy tales. You know what I hate? Disney. Oh, it’s not that these bloody-minded tales of Nemesis and warped value systems haven’t been Bowdlerized before, but they have never been Bowdlerized so creepily, yet so insipidly.

I mean, seriously, doesn’t Snow White just make your skin crawl? Is she not the most loathesomely irritating person with a simpering voice and obnoxiously dim brain since Mrs Topper as portrayed by Billie Burke?

(yes, I know this isn’t from Topper, but it’s all I could find)

Well, Snow White is up there when it comes to driveling bubbleheads with irritating, saccharine voices, surely, but at last some musical genius has made her tolerable. Behold the brilliant syncopations of “Wishery” by Pogo, a Pixar employee, and marvel at the unspeakable rendered not simply bearable, but beautiful.

Mostly by giving the dwarves more airtime, it’s true, but whatevs.

via SomeOfMyBestFriends

Cab or nay? Suave, it! No?

when I "go to there" I want to go in this

when I "go to there" I want to go in this

The second one in the lineup is what I take to get to here. And if the title makes no sense, try saying it out loud while imagining what I’m drinking while being driven around in that.

Justin Bieber meets Gordon Pinsent

JUSTINBIEBERKIRA

JUSTINBIEBERKIRA

One Canadian legend meets another, as that classic icon of stage and screen, Gordon Pinsent, reads aloud from the “memoirs” of sixteen-year-old Justin Bieber.

It’s touching, really. Sorta the way Pedobear patting you on the head is touching.

via TheDailyWhat