To tell the truth, I was deathly afraid I’d end up something uncool, like a spork. I’d much rather be the slotted spoon you use to mix sugar with absinthe…I actually have one of those. Still can’t stand absinthe, although the people at La Fee are very nice.
You Are a Fork |
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People find your honesty to be a bit piercing at times. You are driven and wildly ambitious. You know what you want, and you take the most direct path to getting it. |
How do I order wall-to-wall this?
Pretty sweet, eh? I bet you want that pattern for yourselves! Yes, this would be a big step up from my current carpeting pattern, a graphically similar arrangement of old Vanity Fair magazines.
That shot is part of an awesome series of shots of migrating cow-nosed rays (not the Steve Irwin-killing kind) taken off Mexico by Sandra Critelli, an amateur photographer, which I found through a very roundabout way via the SwimAtOwnRisk blog.
This one lacks accuracy, I must say, since I have virtually none of those traits (except an athleticism that has lain unused and wrapped in tissue paper for the last four years). But every one of my bikinis is, in fact, a halter, so there may be something to this after all.
You Are a Halter Bikini |
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And you’ve got a great tan, probably from all those beach volleyball games! |
I was kind of disappointed not to be Godzilla, there’s no denying it, but maybe this quiz is limited to mundane reptiles, as if there is such a thing. As it is, I shall attempt to take pride in my kinship to Gustave and the lost people of Irem, lost city of the Arabian desert.
You Are a Crocodile |
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In fact, your wisdom is so deep that it sometimes consumes you.People are intrigued by you, but you find few people intriguing. You are not a very social creature. You are cunning. You enjoy deceiving people a little. You are able to find balance in your life, and you can survive anything. |
And, ladies and gentlemen, we do not use those words lightly.
No indeed. This incredible creature is destined for the historic pantheon of pets, the greatest companions humankind has ever known, up there with the sadly now-endangered Tree Octopus, the Drop Bear, and the tragically extinct Longhorse.
What is this miraculous creature? It is the Plaid French Bulldog, otherwise known as Le Bouledogue Français Écossais, a long-lost, recently revived gesture of friendship and solidarity between the people of Brittany and the deposed king of Scotland, England and Wales, James II and VII.
These animals are the only dogs to come in natural plaid patterns, including a dazzling, Lilly Pulitzer-esque pink and green calico plaid pattern that would be the envy of any gay Preppie. Hat-tip to Smartdogs for the tipoff; these babies will sell like gateaux chauds!
From the site of the only breeder in the world currently offering genuine Plaid French Bulldogs:
…since it is a simple fact of life that things which cost more are inherently better, you can rest assured that our Plaid pups come with the absolute highest price for a French Bulldog that you will ever see. In fact, we guarantee it – if you find a Plaid French Bulldog that costs more than ours do, just let us know, and we’ll charge you the extra difference…
…ask us about our certified Clan Authentic Plaidies, just in time for Highland Games seasons. You’ll toss your caber when you see how cute our authentic Clan MacGregor pups are!
Plaid French Bulldogs© – If you don’t have one, you sure do suck!™
Hard to argue with that.
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