He’s a mystery wrapped in an enigma nailed like jelly to the wall, and pinned down like mercury with a fork. What’s the truth about old St. Nick?
IS AMERICA READY FOR THIS?
Well, as I’m not American, I couldn’t care less.
The fact is, Santa Claus is a black man.
And the fact is, we’re closing in on his actual identity.
Snoop Claus
Gilligan’s Island zombies by Once upon a Geek
Anyone who’s read this blog or my food/booze blog for long knows I’m a big fan of the shrooms. Just the regular ones: I’m already so strange I need white noise apps to fall asleep, otherwise the sound of the Earth breathing keeps me awake. My friends who’ve dealt acid warn me against it: me taking LSD would be too dangerous, like if The Doctor settled down with Jadis, the White Witch, read Ken Kesey, and had a baby named Damian.
Could go either way, knowmasayin’?
So today I’d like to talk about the mushroom meme in zombie literature.
The wha?
Shut up and watch this:
That is a mashup of Richard Cheese’s cover of “Down with the Sickness” and the schlocky Japanese horror movie Matango, known in North America as “Attack of the Mushroom People.” This genius piece of celluloid was the basis for the very-much-dumbed-down-yet-still-enjoyable Gilligan’s Island. And now? “Chernobyl Fungus Feeds on Radiation,” which is a horror movie waiting to happen if ever I heard one.
And it was based on something earlier, and creepier, still: William Hope Hodgson‘s eerie short story The Voice in the Night.
And this is what it said:
“You need not be afraid,” answered the queer voice, having
probably noticed some trace of confusion in my tone. “I am only
an old man.”The pause sounded oddly; but it was only afterwards that it
came back to me with any significance.“Why don’t you come alongside, then?” I queried somewhat
snappishly; for I liked not his hinting at my having been a
trifle shaken.“I — I — can’t. It wouldn’t be safe. I ——” The voice broke
off, and there was silence.
And for goddam good reason, too. Read the rest of it if you prefer not to sleep tonight. So interesting to see the (de)volution: the Edwardian skin-crawler, the Fifties drug allegory, the Sixties bowdlerized Eden fable. Pick your favorite now that you have all of the options. If you want to stay neutral, at least tuck this (very) esoteric erudition away to haul out whenever someone mentions either a) Gilligan’s Island b) the infectious zombie trope (as opposed to the supernatural zombie, which is a whole other dichotomy post).
Daft Punk is daft if they think they will get lucky in THOSE outfits
Welcome to your Friday Late Night Dance Party, featuring Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky.”
First up, from 70’s tv fixture Soul Train (OMG there’s a Soul Train CRUISE!!!) via GOOD magazine. Hands up who learned these moves in Grade 7? And what ever happened to elephant baggies pants? Or satin pantsuits for the disco? And GET OFFA MY LAWN!
Next up, an entirely more Orthodox take on the smash hit, from Aish.com, released to celebrate Rosh Hashanah, and featuring some very hot breakdancing boys in need of more bobby pins.
Just what it says on the tin: Andrew Huang has offered up a spirited and downright eerie performance of the theme song from Breaking Bad, all performed on items you might find in a meth lab (no, a scab-ridden, underage flunkie is not one of the items, thank GOD).
The Canadian Huang is something of a phenomenon on YouTube, with 103,000 subscribers and over 200 videos. This particular one has over 400,000 views.
Interviewed in the British-based Crossrhythms site, he spoke of his first efforts, creating a site called Songs to Wear Pants To. “Through Songs To Wear Pants To I wrote close to 600 songs in response to suggestions that strangers sent in online. There were no rules, they could suggest anything from a style of music to a lyrical theme and I would attempt to compose and perform everything exactly as they requested it, usually with a bit of a comedic twist. My approach has always been to keep people guessing – I have a rule that my current release cannot be in the same genre as my previous album. There’s no easy way to provide a history – I’ve produced over 100 pieces a year for almost a decade and just throw it all online as I finish it.”
This one arose from a Song Challenge, and it’s truly a brave man who throws himself on the mercy of randos on YouTube. He’s triumphed nonetheless, with an amazingly tuneful performance done on acoustic guitar (the beaker is used as a slider), cast iron frying pan, skillet, tin stock pot, plastic tubing, coffee filters, pop bottle, measuring cup, propane tank, and brown butcher paper.
No, really.
As an extra (and to pay the bills) at the end he tacks on an offer for a free month of Netflix so you can batch-watch the boys of Breaking Bad in bulk. BONUS!
It’s official: Andrew Huang is a star. He’s recieved the internet’s ultimate benediction: he’s been featured on the Buzzfeed homepage, and in the German Stern magazine. That’s it, Canada can’t hold him anymore!
There’s not much more to say about this other than you will want this on repeat.
Fabulous llama iz fabulous!
You know what they say: politics is showbusiness for ugly people.
Ladies and gentlemen of #DramaSec, fans of flamewars, internet drama divas, and audience members: we at the ol’ raincoaster blog are proud to present the first-ever roundup of #DramaSec power ballads. If Music is the universal language (although Money is making a strong showing lately) then let the universe ring with the sound of our over-the-top and senseless interpersonal drama, full of sound and fury and signifying nothing.
Cue The Ballad of Brett Kimberlin:
And now The Adrian Lamo Blues. Not so much a power ballad as political hipster neo-folk, but who can resist a banjo, eh?:
The next one is hard. It’s almost impossible to determine which of these is more awesome, but for very different reasons. And I’m too lazy to look up how to code a table in HTML so they go side by side, so here it is in order of jaw-droppingness, from the lesser to the greater.
The RonBryn Song. You remember Ron, right?
And now, the musical apotheosis of the internet phenomenon known as #DramaSec. If you’re an impatient type, start it at 3:31. If you enjoy insidery jokes about countries to which you’ve never been, watch the whole thing. And do not doubt me when i say this is the apotheosis of awesomenosity. Words, my friends: They will fail you as they failed me.
Julian Assange performing an 80’s power ballad with updated WikiLeaks lyrics while wearing a righteous mullet:
Selah.
It is the East, and Julian is the sun…
https://twitter.com/ValeriePlame/status/373105969233805312
Plus bonus lyrics to The RonBryn song, courtesy of Elvira:
Open your web browser
Pretend you’re Neal Rauhauser
That’s one way to meet Ronbryn
He is a one man PRISM
Calls tweeting journalism (He does)
Though its just a lot of jizzim, Ronbryn
If your Mercedes is explodin’
You can’t find Edward Snowden
Who ya gonna call?
Ronbryn.
Barrett Brown, Julian, Patterico, Kimberlin
Troll ‘em all, fuck ‘em up
Ronbryn
You’re a sock
What a crock
Call the doc
What the fuck
SWAT ‘em all
Troll ‘em all
Ronbryn……!
Brett Kimberlin is plottin’
Another case of SWATing
Who’s he gonna call?
Ronbryn
He’ll tweet your misdemeanor
You’ll look like Tony Weiner
Tryin’ to humor Huma Abedin
Smearing smearing smearing
All the way to Barrett’s hearing
Ever thought of disappearing, Ronbryn?
raincoaster 