As the hordes of devoted raincoaster aficionados are undoubtedly aware, we here at Operation Global Media Domination Headquarters have at our tentacletips the controls of a vast machinery of media manipulation whose reach spans not only this puny planet, but space and even time itself. And they know, as well, that there is nothing we would not do to completely satisfy the insatiable needs of our readership, nothing we would not hastily stuff into the voracious, slavering maw of the news hole to seal it, if only for a split second.

Through the wonders of modern AI, we have now obtained an exclusive interview with the late John Ono (Winston) Lennon.

Don’t say we never did nuthin’ for ya.

What is your first name (this is John talking with his fingers)
> rain
You don’t need anyone to tell you who you are, rain.
> No, I don’t. Can I ask you a question?
I’ll have to talk to Ringo and see how he feels. Rain , let’s change the subject.
> What do you think of Yoko suing Nixon’s lawyer?
Yoko suing nixons lawyer ? yoko suing nixons lawyer would have the final say.
> What will she say?
Is that a rhetorical question?
> No. Why do you always let Yoko have the final say?
I don’t know about that, mate. Only in the mornings.
> Is she going to win?
I don’t know about that, mate.
> Yes, you do.
That is why I am always on about peace, you see. Seven days.

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