The possibility exists that the Metropolitan Police are way ahead of me on this one, but the possibility also exists that they do not read Fark in London and thus have no clue.

So to speak.

Situation: the Guardian reports that the British police are looking for a sexual predator who specializes in the attacks on the elderly. They’ve got DNA, and they’ve traced it to a black guy from the Windward Isles of the Caribbean, although no specific black guy.

“We believe there may be links down the generations between our suspect and countries of the Caribbean. We know the offender has periods of non-offending that may suggest he is not always in the UK.”

The majority of those targeted were in their 80s – the oldest was 93. Most of the victims were women, although police revealed yesterday that 10 of those burgled were elderly men, one of whom was sexually assaulted.

The first offence linked to the attacker was in 1990, the latest in February 2005, and there could be more victims who have not come forward. In some cases, detectives only found out from family members after the deaths of elderly relatives that they may have been attacked years earlier.

Sordid and nasty enough, but there’s more.

All of the victims were emotionally scarred, of course, as victims of rape and other sexual assaults always are, but some were physically severely injured as well, and at least one has died as a result of the injuries. The police are now trying to – get this – pluck at the shrivelled heartstrings of the perpetrator, in hopes that the guilt burden will force him to confess, perhaps by blinding him to the fact that a cop isn’t the same as a priest.

Detective Superintendent Simon Morgan said, “I would appeal to this man directly and say ‘Give yourself up. Your crimes have caused so much pain and misery to so many people. You know who you are. You know you need help. You know you have to stop’.”

Yeah. You know that’s gonna work.

Not to give up on the Oprah Strategy employed by the Brits, but I’d suggest trolling Fark once in awhile, because sometimes you can find some pretty useful stuff there.

Stuff like this:

A man convicted of trying to rape an 83-year-old woman was sentenced to eight lashes with a cat-o’-nine-tails, a punishment used by the British Navy in the 18th century and reinstated in the Bahamas 15 years ago.

Altulus Newbold, 34, was sentenced on Friday to 16 years in prison after being found guilty of burglary, attempted rape and causing harm…

Newbold was accused of breaking into a woman’s home on Cat Island in July 2004 and trying to have sexual intercourse with her. The woman told the court that she grabbed Newbold‘s genitals and “mashed” them. He bit her to make her let go and then fled the scene.

No thanks necessary. Although donations, particularly of chocolate, won’t be turned back.