The Fatal Fart

In case of fart...

We in comfortably well-off, temperate countries plagued by nothing more onerous than a semi-militant Meerkat uprising, are used to hearing tales of woe from the continent of our most ancient forbears. Alas, Africa is more in the news for civil wars, drought and famine than for any cause worth celebrating. Indeed, being in peril of one’s life seems to be a precondition of life in sub-Saharan Africa.

Sadly, a new menace has arisen to threaten the peaceful population of a heavily populated region: death by fart.

Some time ago, our favorite website, DamnInteresting, covered the disaster at Nyos in some detail:

In each case, volcanic vents on the lake bottoms slowly allowed carbon dioxide to seep into the water, which absorbed the gas over a period of years. When the water became oversaturated, the lakes released the gas in a chain-reaction eruption, and created a dense, invisible cloud tens of meters in height. The huge blanket of CO2, which is heavier than oxygen, flowed down into low-lying valleys and asphyxiated all who dwelled there. The 1984 event took 37 lives, and the 1986 event killed almost 1800 people. The normally clear lakes turned rust-colored, and the vegetation on the lake shores was severely disturbed by the waves and strong winds of the eruptions.

Not good. Now we’re looking at Lake Kivu, with a surrounding population of 2 million people, in much the same situation. The prognosis is not good, even if you leave aside the indignity of essentially getting suffocated by the farts of a large inanimate object.

Lake Kivu… is more than 3,000 times the size of Nyos and contains more than 350 times as much gas. More worrying is the fact that the shores of Kivu are much more heavily populated. About two million people live there, including the 250,000 citizens of the city of Goma.Mount Nyiragongo, near Goma, erupted in 2002 and lava streamed from it into Lake Kivu for several days. On this occasion there was no disturbance of the lake’s deep layers of gas and no deadly outpouring of carbon dioxide or methane. However, Kling has warned – in the journal Nature this month – that in the event of another eruption the region may not be so lucky again.

Indeed, the impact would dwarf the disaster that struck Nyos. “Kivu is basically the nasty big brother of Nyos,” Kling told Nature.

Nyot encouraging, you would think. And you would be right, if it weren’t for the fact that there’s money in that thar methane.

…engineers are trying to tap Kivu’s rich supplies of methane – by lowering pipes from floating platforms down to its holding layers and siphoning off the gas. This could then be burnt and used as a source of industrial and domestic energy.

Several projects have been established, though only one is currently generating electricity – albeit sporadically – for the Rwandan grid. Another platform sank last year shortly before it was scheduled to begin production.

Tapping Kivu’s methane could, theoretically, reduce the risk of a deadly eruption, say engineers. However, scientists have also warned that tampering with the lake’s gases also carries a risk of triggering a disaster.

So, you could be suffocated by CO2 lakefarts as you go about your business, you could get rich of slowly tapped methane lake farts, or you could die in an enormous fireball the likes of which the Earth has never seen.

That blows.

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Science for Sadists or Aeronautics from Aerchie

I’ve always heard those Aussies were somewhat rough around the edges. Having seen the instructions for creating your own airplane that Archie posted on his blog, I have to say that was somewhat understating the case, in the way that the Irish troubles are referred to as the Troubles.

This, my friends, is how Bruce goes to Kitty Hawk. Click on the image to go to his site and see the rest of the instructions. And you’ll need your airsick bag.

Build a plane

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YouTuber of the Day

I love that word: YouTuber. It’s like a 21st Century “Mister Potatohead” reference, but ambiguous enough that they’re not sure whether or not they should be angry.

I stole it from Kevin Smith. Do you think he’ll mind? He looks like a man who loves his carbs.

In any case, here is my YouTuber of the day, BrianShaneRushton, and he is here and is my YouTuber of the day because of the awesome comment on this jarringly…jarring video:

Super Funny Snowflakes

For weeks and weeks I’ve been scouring the internet, looking for the funniest pictures of snowflakes. Not unlike those people who throw lolcats pictures together. Savvy? Ever notice that the Looney Toons cartoons since the death of Mel Blanc have sucked? Whoa, there’s like a cat in here and hes acting all crazy and meowing. It snowed a lot now it’s raining, load damn you load! I hope it doesn’t get all icey. I had spaghetti for dinner, the sauce was kind of chunky, I’m not into that but oh… well. No two snowflakes look alike. Ever notice blue jolt soda tastes like pepsi blue? That’s what someone told me, I liked that stuff when it first came out but after the first couple times it got terrible. Gonna get energy drinks tonight, I like original rockstar and green and yellow monster. Yum yum. This video is taking so long. 50 megabytes. Kind of big for something I ran through windows movie maker to lower the file size but come on. gettin’ a headache. What was the last name of the family in Malcolm in the middle? I mean, I never really liked that show but i still had theory about it. Like, I always thought that they likely lived in Nebraska. Well, it’s loaded now. I just wanna say that this video has nothing, I mean absolutely nothing to do with Christmas. Or Santa or Jay Santos or anything like that.

Snow crystals form when tiny supercooled cloud droplets (approx 10μm in diameter) freeze. These droplets are able to remain liquid at temperatures colder than 4°C because, in order to freeze, a few molecules in the liquid droplet need to get together by chance to form an arrangement close to that in an ice lattice; then the droplet freezes around this ‘nucleus’. Experiments show that this ‘homogeneous’ nucleation of cloud droplets only occurs at temperatures colder than 4°C.[1] In warmer clouds an aerosol particle or ‘ice nucleus’ must be present in (or in contact with) the droplet to act as a nucleus. Our understanding of what particles make efficient ice nuclei is poor – what we do know is they are very rare compared to that cloud condensation nuclei which liquid droplets form on. Clays, desert dust and biological particles may be effective,[2] although to what extent is unclear. Artificial nuclei include silver iodide and dry ice, and these form the basis of cloud seeding.

Once a droplet has frozen, it grows in the supersaturated environment (air saturated with respect to liquid water is always supersaturated with respect to ice) and grows by diffusion of water molecules in the air (vapor) onto the ice crystal surface where they are deposited. Because the droplets are so much more numerous than the ice crystals (because of the relative numbers of ice vs droplet nuclei) the crystals are able to grow to hundreds of micrometres or millimetres in size at the expense of the water droplets (the Wegner-Bergeron-Findeison process). The corresponding depletion of water vapour causes the droplets to evaporate, meaning that the ice crystals effectively grow at the droplets’ expense. These large crystals are an efficient source of precipitation, since they fall through the atmosphere due to their mass, and may collide and stick together in clusters (aggregates). These aggregates are snowflakes, and are usually the type of ice particle which falls at the ground. [3] The exact details of the sticking mechanism remains controversial (and probably there are different mechanisms active in different clouds), possibilities include mechanical interlocking, sintering, electrostatic attraction as well as the existence of a ‘sticky’ liquid-like layer on the crystal surface.

The individual ice crystals often have an hexagonal symmetry. Although the ice is clear, scattering of light by the crystal facets and hollows/imperfections mean that the crystals often appear white in colour due to diffuse reflection of all spectrum of light by the small ice particles.

That is how not to do a video with sound effects. This is how to do one:

Michael Bay Eating Cereal

And this is his flowchart. Every superhero has a breakfast-choice flowchart. It really IS the most important meal of the day.

Michael Bays Breakfast

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Quiz: Star Trek Character or Erectile Dysfunction Pill?

Star Trek or Erectile Dysfunction

We will refrain, for lo we are way tactful, bychez, from pointing out that the nomenclatural congruity here is somewhat … what? Ironic? Perfect? Obvious?

Well, actually, some Star Trek characters themselves function as erectile dysfunction medications, if you believe some of my friends, and I wouldn’t, particularly late on a dark and stormy Friday night. Because they’ll say anything to get you out of the house so they can get back to WoW or Battlestar Gallactica or their nightly recitation of the entire Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (I am SO not getting invited over for Red Dwarf now, eh?).

Star Trek Character Marta from Whom Gods Destroy

Star Trek Character or Erectile Dysfunction Pill?

Score: 60% (6 out of 10)

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Requiem for Franklin on a G String

Technically, it’s a bikini.

Raised, as I was, to learn the ways of the woods old-skool, telling direction with nothing more elaborate than a stick, tracking lynxes and bobcats, and finding fresh water aided by the smell of unseen ferns, I cast a skeptical eye on modern technology dependent on batteries, satellites, and whether or not you’ve renewed your license on that sorry-ass copy of Outlook on your computer back home.

Not to mention the three hour hike around the lake that was invisible to the GPS. Remember, when you’re using one of those things in Canada you’re rather in the position Columbus was in; ie, you have a pretty good idea more or less where A is, and B as well, but you don’t exactly know what you’ll encounter when you try to connect those two dots, because nobody’s done it yet. What will you encounter? Almost certainly things. Like lakes. And barbed wire. And lynxes and bobcats.

So, for me, I prefer the old-skool tools. After all, a cigar may not always be a cigar or a rock a rock, but a stick is pretty much more or less always a stick and even when it’s not, you can usually get it to hold still long enough to work. Cold-blooded things such as stick insects and other items which spring to mind are known to slow down, even to the point of immobility, in Arctic conditions.

Surprisingly, if the temperatures are cold enough, you can even get a bikini to hold still long enough to be put to practical use.

Hot:

Cold:

“Due to our proximity to the Magnetic North Pole, our compasses are currently going haywire, said navigator Ann Daniels. “The earth’s strong magnetic field on this part of the ocean means that the compass needle simply spins uselessly in its housing. As such, we’re currently relying on more traditional methods for day-to-day navigation, using the sun (for those few precious hours each day when it graces us with its presence), and using wind direction, as indicated by the panties…”

Polar Panties of Power!

Polar Panties of Power!

If only Franklin had toted a pair of these along on his fatal expedition, perhaps things might have gone very differently. While Gizmodo says there is no word on whether the woman pictured above actually wears the windsock panties when they are not otherwise occupied, certain of the more broad-minded among us (and I refer, of course, to myself) are wondering whether or not there might be any Englishmen among the team.