MIT investigates tinfoil helmets

There are a few politicians and bloggers I know who should read this. But I won’t give them the link!

On the Effectiveness of Aluminium Foil Helmets:

An Empirical Study

Ali Rahimi1, Ben Recht 2, Jason Taylor 2, Noah Vawter 2
17 Feb 2005 1: Electrical Engineering and Computer Science department, MIT.
2: Media Laboratory, MIT.

Header image, heh heh

Abstract

Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government’s invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.

The Classical

We evaluated the performance of three different helmet designs, commonly referred to as the Classical, the Fez, and the Centurion [can’t you just see a certain classically-inclined Tory sporting this model?]. These designs are portrayed in Figure 1. The helmets were made of Reynolds aluminium foil. As per best practices, all three designs were constructed with the double layering technique described elsewhere [2].

The Fez

A radio-frequency test signal sweeping the ranges from 10 Khz to 3 Ghz was generated using an omnidirectional antenna attached to the Agilent 8714ET’s signal generator.

The Centurion

today in Microscopic Squid news

Piglet Squid 

I’ve been sitting on this for days (and boy, is my butt tired)(and smelly) because I thought it was totally fake.

Piglet Squid? Underwater geofeatures that look like naked women? I swear to god, I thought the Piglet Squid was some kinda Disney character, brought to life through the intervention of someone with Photoshop and too damn much time on his/her hands. What can I say, I never watched Saving Nemo…or was it Finding Private Ryan? Whatever, I never saw either of them. I ain’t seen Casablanca yet!

Imagine, if you will (or can) my mortification when I discover that the Piglet Squid is, in fact, a perfectly normal, if teensy, cephalopod that lives in the sea off Nigeria. Oh! The shame! I shall be laying off the calamari and buying live seafood in Chinatown for free-setting purposes in penance. Do tilapia do well in Burrard Inlet?

In any case, these are totally real photographs and (highly cool) video from the BP Kongsberg Underwater Image Competition. Do not miss the video section; bizarrerie of this magnitude does not come along every day, at least not without the use of expensive and debilitiating pharmaceuticals.

Hard Up

Is that a Burj inyour pocket or are you just happy to see me?Poor baby. His penile implant worked like a dream, and waggled happily skyward without pause from the moment of activation. For ten years. So, what did Mister Genius here do? Get himself a bevy of ladyfriends and a bad reputation?

No, he became a hermit instead. One has to wonder what he wanted it for in the first place. If it’s that bulgy, you can always stuff your pants with a pillow and just pretend to be fat. Or, hey! tell everyone your name is “Colin Farrell.”

From News of the Weird:

The Rhode Island Supreme Court in June affirmed a $400,000 judgment for Charles Lennon, 68, who had sued the now-bankrupt Dacomed company after his Dura-II penile implant remained constantly erect for 10 years. Lennon said embarrassment had forced him to become a recluse.

Ralph Steadman fails math

along with other assorted jokers. From Haha.nu, via Fark.

Ralph Steadman fails math

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the undisclosed supernatural being made me do it

WWFSMD? 

From the ever-reliable News of the Weird comes news that, upon reflection, makes perfect sense, even if nothing IN this story does. Of course it’s from Texas:

The Texas insanity-defense law requires that a delusional person acting under “orders” from God be judged not guilty by reason of insanity, but that a delusional person acting under “orders” from Satan be considered sane, according to prominent forensic psychiatrist Park Dietz (according to a June USA Today story). Thus, Dietz believed that Andrea Yates (at press time being retried in Houston) knew that drowning her kids upon command of someone “without moral authority” (such as Satan) was wrong and thus that she did not qualify for insanity-law protection. Dietz later concluded the opposite in another Texas child-killing case because God had supposedly assured that mother that her kids would be better off dead. [USA Today, 6-20-06]