Category Archives: Sex

retail therapy, from the other side of the counter

Posted on by

You can always rely on AbFab‘s Patsy for a quick, refreshing spray of civet. She reminds me that I used to enjoy working with the public, because every day I met so many people to whom I could feel superior!

Bit of a surprise on the test, though. I guess I’m just not slutty enough.

Fabulous! You are Edina. You’ve been there, done that, and hosted the launch party for the t-shirt. You live life large and in bold bright colours. The big questions don’t bother you – all you need from life is some designer gear and slick interior design. But for all your vitality you are overly dependent on friends for entertainment. God forbid that your best mate should ever leave you…

FurtherMore Marketing Tips for Hookers

Posted on by

From the Archive, see also Part One:

Friday, September 20, 2002

5) Look for Synergies

It’s an entertainment business. Look for ways to leverage other entertainments and marketing efforts. Comme ca:

a) The MinuteLube had a sign: IN AND OUT IN FIFTEEN MINUTES, SATISFACTION GUARANTEED.

There was a hooker standing under it.

b) When the Canucks were in the playoffs, you could see every hooker in Mount Pleasant wearing Canucks tees, which is fine, but one large Native woman took it even farther, holding up a large sign that offered “free extras” if the Canucks won. I wonder what the extras were…

never argue with a woman

Posted on by

From Mistress Cowfish:

Never Argue with a WomanOne morning the husband returns after several hours of
fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar
with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her
book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls
up alongside the woman and says, “Good morning, Ma’am.
What are you doing?”
“Reading a book,” she replies, (thinking, “Isn’t that
obvious?”)
‘You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,” he informs her.
“I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading.”
“Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you
could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you
up”. “If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual
assault, “says the woman.
“But I haven’t even touched you,” says the game warden.
“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all
I know you could start at any moment.”
“Have a nice day ma’am,” and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It’s likely she
can also think. Send this to four women who are thinkers.

perhaps the saddest, AND most effective, marketing video ever made

Posted on by

Seriously, I’m a chick, but when I heard this woman’s accent I, too, thought “please just shut your mouth.”

I Wish I Was a Lesbian and Not a Hetero

Posted on by

Continuing Canadian Gay Chick Day on the raincoaster blog, here’s a perky Loudon Wainright tune. I’m pretty sure Canadian Gay Chick Day is a national holiday or something and it’s not just because I got it into my head when I was at Tinseltown. Isn’t it the Out on Screen Festival as well?

I applied for a job there once, but I was too breeder. Oh well. They were nice about it but basically told me if they had ANY gays apply, they’d go ahead of me in the queue.

Which reminds me of an old Starbucks story, but that’s perhaps for later. It appears the experiment to sleep at “night” and be awake in the “daytime” has been a failure.