The Best St. Patrick’s Day Joke you’ve never heard I AM TELLING YOU

St Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland

St Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland


The Motto of the Republic of Ireland


You say Potato, I say Revolution!

You say Potato, I say Revolution!


Yes, that is the official motto of the Republic of Ireland, translated from the Gaelic. Very few people know that.

St Patrick’s Day Quote o’ the Day: the Fuckin’ Irish

Irish Porn

As opposed to the Fightin’ Irish, who are generally football teams at Catholic high schools, which makes them predominantly Filipino, Chinese, Korean, South American and Italian, at least in this city it does, and it’s always a cheap laugh when I see them on the bus in their team sweatshirts. But am I being racist, or are they?


In any case, to celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day here are the three most brilliant quotes about the Irish since Dave Allen died and went to…nowhere? Wherever he went, I’m sure he had a bit of apologizing to do, particularly after the bit about the Pope jousting with the Archbishop of Canterbury.

Quote the first, from Departed screenwriter William Monahan, via Susie Bright’s Journal, whom I used to read all the time in Mondo 2000 and so on and which blog I only stumbled across because she posted a link to my blog on Facebook. See, being referrer-stat obsessed has a payoff!

I’m Irish. I’ll deal with something being wrong the rest of my life.

and Quote the Second, from the same source:

What Freud said about the Irish is: We’re the only people who are impervious to psychoanalysis.

and Quote the Third, from my boss, the Manolo, who says he doesn’t have an Irish bone in his body. Still, he’s got our number:

If Darby O’Gill = Uncle Remus for Irish People, then the Pogues = N.W.A. for Irish People.

Amen to that!

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St Patrick’s Day cartoon: savage chicken vs leprechaun

You don’t want to mess with a Savage Chicken!

St Patrick’s Day leprechaun vs Savage Chicken

St. Patrick’s Day Irish Jokes

St Patrick’s CatThese are the best Irish jokes you’ll hear all day, unless you go over to Smoke&Mirrors where I stole them from and read the whole whack all at once.

It should be noted (or is that “noted it should be”?) that:

I’m Irish Catholic on one side and Irish Protestant on the other, my favorite pub is the impeccably authentic Irish Heather, I host a literary gathering that meets at the Shebeen, the women of my immediate family are somewhat, and quite inconveniently from time to time, renowned for the Second Sight, my uncle goes over to Ireland on vacations to teach them how to play the fiddle, my grandfather was an infamous warlock, and there’s a Bend Sinister in the gene pool somewhere for bonus points.

So I have total Celt cred.

1586 words of the most amusing Irish jokes around over the jump. But not the leprechaun nun one. Gross!

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