It’s about time we had one of these, what with the party season wrapping us in its clammy and overly-accessorized embrace. Hug back with all ten tentacles and most of what’s left of your liver with this riotous party-for-one-eccentric-loner-friendly game from your good friends at Cthulhu Coffee, the go-to site for all your Cooking with Cthulhu recipe needs.
Whereas normally I’d excerpt it here, the site informs me (in a myriad whispered voices, with strangely musical pipings over a wide range, evoking visions of fantastic vistas…where was I?) that it’s never going to be updated again, so fuckit. I’m stealing this wholesale. What’s the worst that can happen? I get mysteriously offed by a swarthy and strangely misshapen sailor in an obscure foreign port?
Like we don’t all know that’s going to happen anyway.
Grab yourself a bottle of absinthe and pree-pare to par-tay!
H.P. Lovecraft Drinking Game
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Drinking Rules
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| General |
Take a gulp any time that Lovecraft:
…uses more than one adjective in a row, i.e.: “Molded by the dead brain of a hybrid nightmare, would not such a vaporous terror constitute in all loathsome truth the exquisitely, the shriekingly unnamable?” (“The Unnamable”)
…uses a purposely vague description. (i.e. “unspeakable horror”)
…refers to an other-worldy location. (i.e., Sarnath, Kadath in the Cold Waste, and the like. “The Dream-Quest of the Unknown Kadath” will put you under the table easily.)
…refers to an other-worldy entity by proper name. (Remember, Cthulhu and Nyarlathotep are proper names of single entities, but Mi-Go and shoggoth are not; they are types of entities.)
…states anything racist, sexist, fascist, or generally non-PC. This rule makes “The Horror at Red Hook” particularly nasty to get through. Don’t debate too much about what is racist or sexist, though
… When in doubt, drink.
…uses the “British” spelling of any word, such as “colour” or “favour”.…any time a character winds up at a temple or church.…any time a “forbidden” book is mentioned in the story. This includes De Vermis Mysteris, Unaussprechlichen Kulten, and, of course, The Necronomicon, among others.…to this we would add:any time a protagonist is shunned in townany time the following names pop up: Whateley, Marsh, Dunwich, Arkham, Miskatonic, Innsmouth, Kingsport (Kingsburyport).
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| Words |
Down your drink whenever the following words appear:
Edrich
Cyclopean
Gibbering
Squamous
to this we would add: Rugose, Armigerous, Congeries.
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| Story Specific |
Finish your drink whenever the any of these situations occur:
Six-foot-tall albino subterranean penguins waddle into the storyline. (“At the Mountains of Madness”)
The protagonist discovers that he can’t blink. (“Shadow Over Innsmouth”)
Cannibalism. (“Rats in the Walls” and “Picture in the House”)
The storyline is repeated in brief. (“Herbert West — Re-animator”, which was released as a serial and thus had to remind readers of what happened in the previous issue.)
Fat felines lounge about after some mean humans disappear. (“The Cats of Ulthar”)
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| Bonus |
After finishing a story, check to see if anyone in the room can still quote the opening lines to “The Call of Cthulhu” without peeking at the book. Everyone else must finish one drink for every sentence that the quoter can correctly quote.This is a good way to get your friends really, really pickled, so start memorizing… Though ideally, everyone should already be blotto enough by the end of a story to be unable to recite anything from memory.For reference, here is the opening paragraph:“The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a dark new age.”If no one can quote any part of this, then check to see if anyone can quote the famous Necronomicon rhyme. Everyone else must finish one drink if somebody correctly murmurs from memory, “That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die.” |
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