quiz: which character from the Iliad are you?

Here is my all-time favorite mass transit story, and it’s even true!

My English professor rode the bus every day. He rode the bus in from White Rock. It took long hours.

Sorry, channelling Hemingway; it’s the English major in me.

Anyway, on the bus, he met many an interesting character, as one does. He met so many, in fact, that he eventually decided to stop meeting anyone at all, and began reading on the bus.

This was not a successful solution, for lo the world is never short of those with an opinion or two to spare on the subject of a total stranger’s taste in books (to the point where I used to use a book cover that said “I want YOU…to leave me alone”).

One day, he was reading a book, as I think I have explained was his wont, which I suppose means what he wonted to do, and the book just happened to be the Iliad (in translation; he was no showoff). Well, onto the bus lumbers and BAM! down into the seat next to him sits a huge, hulking biker of much black leather, clanking chains, and many a fierce and prison-made tattoo.

Great, thinks the mild-mannered and moderate-bodied English professor. Try to be invisible, he thinks.

He fails.

POKE goes the biker’s finger into the book.

Da Iliad! he shouts. I love dat book! Rumble in Troy, eh! Ah, it’s all women, man. All da trouble in da world: It’s always all about da fuckin’ women.

  Which Greek Warrior From The Iliad Are You?  

Agamemnon: You are the king of Mycenae…and assholery. I’m telling you, sacrificing your daughter to fuel your ambitions doesn’t win you too many friends.
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Anna Nicole’s Fridge contents!

I can't believe it's not heroin!Check this out: looks like Howard K. forgot to sanitize the crime scene before the cops and/or the reporters from TMZ could get there. He was, reports say, much more thorough when Daniel ankled this planet.

Yogurt, sure. Weight loss shakes? Of course. Vitamins? Whatever, who cares?

So far, it looks like my fridge, except I would never buy an American brand of Worchestershire sauce.

But wait. What’s that I spy?

I Can’t Believe It’s Not Heroin!

Of course, the alternate theory to the ever-popular The Lawyer/Butler/Babydaddy Pretender Did It theory is that Trimspa got wise to her Slimfast-suckin’, cheatin’ gullet, and had her offed before the news could leak, potentially undoing millions of dollars’ and several years’ worth of marketing work.

As for me, well I have an alibi. I was blogging at the time.

Also, was she really fucking her bodyguard? Go her!

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Anna Nicole Smith’s finest moment

Seriously, what did you think she was famous for? Listen to these fans scream: they would cheer on a trainwreck if it wore a really trashy dress. As Nietzsche  says, when we cease to worship the old gods they die, and whatever we do worship becomes the new god.

Is this enlightenment?

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Anna Nicole Smith took the Jimi Hendrix way out

Anna Nicole Smith, Playboy

It seems “heart failure” was even more euphemistic than we thought. Access Hollywood is reporting that she choked to death on her own vomit, while under the influence of sedatives. Just like Jimi. You probably don’t want to watch the video they’ve got on that site; it’s voyeuristic, to say the least.

According to a credible source, an employee of Anna Nicole Smith found her in her room in the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Florida. The employee pulled back a sheet and discovered that she appeared to have choked on her own vomit.

The same source claims that Smith took what was referred to as a “children’s sedative,” and had “kept passing out” before her death.

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USAF firing on British troops

This is the real thing, people: this is the leaked video of a pair of American Airforce reserve fighter pilots killing British Lance Corporal Matty Hull near Basra in Iraq. There is a time lag on the audio here, so follow the subtitles (which were added by the investigators). The video dates from March 28th of 2003, and more details about the incident and investigation are here.

…the pilots, a lieutenant-colonel and major at the time of the incident, are flying warplanes again, attached to the 190th Air Fighter Squadron, based at Boise, Idaho…

The cockpit video reveals that the pilots clearly saw the orange panels on the top of the British armoured vehicles intended to identify them as friendly forces, but ultimately decided that they were rocket launchers. When one pilot suggested a return to base, the other said: “I think killing these damn rocket launchers, it would be great.”

Even after attacking the column, the transcript shows the pilots were still unsure whether they had attacked enemy or friendly troops.

“It doesn’t look friendly,” one pilot said. Minutes later, they were told of their mistake.

“We’re in jail dude,” one pilot said. “Goddam it. Fuck me dead,” the other cries.

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