The Fuggers go to Canada! We'll get Perez any day now!

Bonus Fug

Deep down, buried beneath our hard, enraged, belt-hating exteriors, we have hearts of gold. We're softer than a golden retriever puppy. More agreeable than an heiress in a crack den.

So when MuchMusic.com asked us to participate in their ramp-up to the Much Music Video Music Awards by fugging a few people who showed up last year, we couldn't refuse.

After all, we are very fond of Canada. We know many great Canadians. We have a couple Canadian readers [raincoaster waves]. We are very sorry that Alanis Morrissette and Ryan Reynolds fulfilled our private predictions that they would never get married because they were engaged for too long, and that is a sure sign in Hollywood of cold feet. And despite the fact that one of us went to high school with someone who plays for the Carolina Hurricanes, we are rooting for Edmonton to continue its comeback in the Stanley Cup (last night's overtime win on a short-handed goal? Unbelievable) so that Canada can sit atop the NHL again the way we feel it should.

Ergo, in a sense, we're fugging for Canada; we're sharing it here because, basically, these four blurbs amount to some bonus fug for the day. So here you go, guys — this fug's for you.

 Unfortunately, the Muchers (not nearly as cool as the Kutchers) use the phrase "what in sam hell" in the intro. This cries out for fugnalysis, but as I am currently about to be booted from a public computer and supposed to be headed over to Pivot to do actual work for them, alas I am prevented from giving them what they deserved. As I was prevented, just yesterday, from giving Vicus the 1000 words of re-jiggered Keats he was just asking for. Yeats, Keats, and Bono: the three greatest poets in the history of civilizaton. But at least I laid the smackdown on the blond bombshell.