Remember those spiffy, chorusline-dancin’ murderous thugs from the Axe Gang in the chop-socky classic Kung Fu Hustle? Ever thought, “gee, my life would be so much better if only I had those moves!“? Well my arrhythmic whiteboy friend, now you can have them, thanks to this brilliant, slickly glam, high-tech How to Dance Like an Axe Gang Member video.
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Remember that cute little nursery rhyme about what little boys and girls are made of? Well this takes that mystery right off the table, because once the Great Pumpkin gets through with them, you can actually see the component parts! Awesome!
Stolen from Dr Mike.
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or at least Vancouver poet/accordionist/comedian Rowan Lipkovits is. Here he is at the Roxy, a barn-like nightclub for people under 25 looking to get A) shitfaced and B) laid. Watch and enjoy as he testifies to the fact that he is not exactly in their target demographic. The songs are Al Mader‘s I’m a Lousy Lover and Lipkovits‘ own elderly-tomcat theme, Cougar Man. UPDATE: Rowan reports that Cougar Man is a product of the genius of Peter Guindon, aka Bob Uker (as in ukulele-player), aka The Minoans.
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We’re talking Sea Monsters, people. So you know we mean business.
Now, everybody knows that Nessie‘s just a big ol’ lump o’ dinosaur, not a serpent at all. And Caddy‘s a figment of some screech-addled sailor’s story-telling impulse. And Ogopogo…well, we do not speak of Ogopogo. The ancient Fossil Shark was a shark, after all, if quite serpentine in spots and from certain angles, especially in candlelight.
But now, at last, we’ve found a genuine Sea Serpent. My shrivelled and blackened heart leaps up…
Beneath the surface of our crystal blue waters live a myriad of marine life.
Sometimes we can see them from the air — steely eyed shark congregating by the thousands, graceful stingray, gliding along the shallows.
But go deeper…
You never know what you’ll find. Just ask Jay Garbose.
“This is a first and I’ve traveled and video’ed all over the world.”
Take a look at what he found and listen to the story — it’s no fish tale.
“I was diving on Juno Ledge. That’s about a mile off shore of Juno Beach. At first I thought it was a sea cucumber although no one has ever seen one stretched 7 to 10 feet the way this one was. It’s sort of grey and putty like and very smooth and taffy like in the way it stretches. Some of my friends and I have sort of dubbed it the living intestine.”
And it is just exactly as beautiful as that description would lead one to believe. At first, I thought it was a hoax. Once I saw it moving and had observed its blundering, slow, mindless, horrible writhings, I prayed it was a hoax.
Click to view, if you dare.
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Another episode in our favorite series of (cephalo)podcasts. Here is the Great Cthulhu taking viewer’s calls and dealing with telemarketers as we all wish we could.
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raincoaster 