Category Archives: War

and they call them stealth because???

Posted on by

Stealthy, eh?

A Gothamist reader sent these in. I know the whole idea is that they’re invisible to radar, but they fly so slowly that they’re visible to the naked eye and vulnerable to the naked eye whose owner is also in possession of a cellphone.

Spy magazine did a brilliant article wherein they looked at other bomb delivery systems that could be had for the same money as one Stealth bomber; the most efficient was, if memory serves, 7,500 Cessna 172s. No airforce or artillery in the world could shoot down all 7,500 in time to prevent the bomb from dropping. And finally, a use for all those seized drug dealers’ planes.

Don't look! We're very expensively invisible!

Rick and roll!

Posted on by

Mercer's not too sure about you, pal.

Mercer‘s back, and raincoaster’s got him (ah, if only)! Actually, he’s been back for ten days but before that he hadn’t updated since April, so serves him right for the fact I didn’t find out till today!

Still, we’re not proud and we will take what we can get.

I see that Jack Layton has distinguished himself on the international front by coming up with a solution for the Afghanistan situation. Jack is calling for peace talks with the Taliban. About time the NDP get back to their more loony roots. For a while there they were coming off all semi-sensible.

Rest assured if there are peace talks with the Taliban and Jack Layton The Mercer Report will be there! I’ve attended a lot of political events over the years and as a location I would suggest holding the talks in one of the ball rooms at the casino in Hull.

I think you might be able to smoke there and I’m guessing the Taliban would appreciate that. All the Taliban really require to have a good time is an ashtray and a few de-peopled women making sure there’s a steady supply of unsafe drinking water.

Agenda for Historic Peace talks between Jack Mercer is shocked, shocked I tell you!Layton and Taliban leader – room 202 Casino Du Lac Leamy, Quebec

8:00 am – Jack Layton opening comments and welcome to assembled media and Taliban representative.

8:05 am – Taliban representative walks to podium, poses for photographs with Mr. Layton.

8:06 am – Taliban representative cleaves Mr. Layton in the forehead with giant axe.

8:08 am – Peace talks end.

8:10 am – Olivia Chow says she is “encouraged by talks” – announces plan to run for leadership of NDP.

What else is going on? On the Liberal front I was encouraged to read that Michael Ignatieff will not accept any questions from the media that are “anticipatory hypotheticals”. I’m glad he made this clear because I hope to interview him on the show this year and I appreciate the heads up. Truth is I like Iggy but honestly sometimes I don’t know what in the hell he’s talking about. I thought all hypotheticals were anticipatory! I am so stupid sometimes. I googled the phrase “anticipatory hypothetical” and there are only seven known uses in the history of the English language. The term pops up on a website called indiansex.com and it’s also used in an essay written by some dude in Iowa who believes that robots have taken over the world.

And finally on a sad note that crocodile hunter guy was killed by a stingray. Laugh and the world laughs with you, get killed by a benign piece of seafood and the world laughs too apparently. Showbiz is brutal that way.

Welcome back.

Anticipatory bestseller?

a transatlantic political primer from the daily show

Posted on by

Here’s a little roundup just to demonstrate that I can tell the countries apart. Everything I know about politics I learned from satirical and handsome television personalities. Hey, there are worse resumes, I’m telling you. I would post a clip of Boris talking about Canada, but all I could find was the Saskatoonberry essay, and let us just say the visuals are not exactly compelling.

First, here’s Jon Stewart on the Canadian terrorist plot:

And here he is again, from last year, on the microscopic differences between the US and the UK leadership:

And here’s a special bonus segment of Rick Mercer’s Talking to Americans. In this episode, he makes asses of people at NYU, Stanford, and the Gore and Bush campaigns:

 

doublespeak and TWAT

Posted on by

from Timothy Lynch of the Cato Institute, who actually called it “Doublespeak and the War on Terrorism.”

The abstract:

Five years have passed since the catastrophic terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. Those attacks ushered in the war on terror. Since some high-ranking government officials and pundits are now referring to the war on terror as the “Long War” or “World War III,” because its duration is not clear, now is an appropriate time to take a few steps back and examine the disturbing new vocabulary that has emerged from this conflict.

One of the central insights of George Orwell’s classic novel Nineteen Eighty-Four concerned the manipulative use of language, which he called “newspeak” and “doublethink,” and which we now call “doublespeak” and “Orwellian.” Orwell was alarmed by government propaganda and the seemingly rampant use of euphemisms and halftruths— and he conveyed his discomfort with such tactics to generations of readers by using vivid examples in his novel. Despite our general awareness of the tactic, government officials routinely use doublespeak to expand, or at least maintain, their power.

The purpose of this paper is not to criticize any particular policy initiative. Reasonable people can honestly disagree about what needs to be done to combat the terrorists who are bent on killing Americans. However, a conscientious discussion of our policy options must begin with a clear understanding of what our government is actually doing and what it is really proposing to do next. The aim here is to enhance the understanding of both policymakers and the interested lay public by exposing doublespeak.

and the full report as PDF here.

Harry Potter, terrorist

Posted on by

Potter. Harry Potter.It seems that in the latest development in TWAT and The War Against Liquids, the forces that be have turned their beady little eyes to the tiny terrorist known as Harry Potter.

American airport staff almost stopped Harry Potter author JK Rowling boarding a flight because she would not part with the manuscript for the final book.

Rowling was not prepared to stow her top secret notes for book number seven in her check-in baggage when she flew back from a book festival in August.

Eventually she was allowed to take them on the flight, bound in elastic bands.

Seriously, doen't he look pretty sketchy to you?Indeed, if that manuscript fell into the hands of terrorists, what havoc could they create? Unimaginable, worldwide suffering would invariably follow the manuscript-napping.

But seriously, what was she going to do? Use it to threaten the pilot? “Turn this plane around NOW and land in Havana or Hermione gets written out!“