Kant stomach smuggling

Kant. Can SO! 

Seriously, if you haven’t got the guts for heroin smuggling, you really shouldn’t take a job as a drug mule.

Particularly not if there’s turbulence.

A PASSENGER on an Australian-bound plane vomited up a bag of white powder suspected to be heroin, forcing the plane to turn back to Vietnam.

The Vietnam Airlines plane had been flying for an hour after leaving Ho Chi Minh City on Saturday when an Australian man of Vietnamese descent took ill, airline officials told the state-run Tuoi Tre newspaper.

The aircraft turned around and made an emergency landing at Tan Son Nhat Airport, where the man coughed up two more bags of white powder. He was detained by police and taken to hospital.

Another newspaper, Lao Dong, reported that doctors found another 30 bags in the man’s stomach.

It identified him as 35-year-old Nguyen Kant.

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dance like a gangSTAR!

Remember those spiffy, chorusline-dancin’ murderous thugs from the Axe Gang in the chop-socky classic Kung Fu Hustle? Ever thought, “gee, my life would be so much better if only I had those moves!“? Well my arrhythmic whiteboy friend, now you can have them, thanks to this brilliant, slickly glam, high-tech How to Dance Like an Axe Gang Member video.

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amerikan skoolz @ work

rat race!Because Americans cannot tell time, a man’s four-day ordeal on a stationary bike is ineligible for the Guinness Book of World Records.

George Hood spent 85 hours riding a stationary bike in January, riding the equivalent of about 1,080 miles, and thought he had bested the existing record of 82.

However, Guinness World Records officials invalidated Hood‘s entry because of record-keeping errors.

About 40 volunteers took turns logging Hood‘s efforts, but they made addition and subtraction mistakes and had trouble reading a 24-hour clock, Guinness officials said.

Expect Bush to pull particulary gifted chronologists off active duty in Iraq and put them on Texas Gym Patrol.

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Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin and the bloodthirsty vengence of unquenchable, unnameable horror from beyond the abyss

Remember that cute little nursery rhyme about what little boys and girls are made of? Well this takes that mystery right off the table, because once the Great Pumpkin gets through with them, you can actually see the component parts! Awesome!

Stolen from Dr Mike.

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HR Pufnstuf: the untold story

HR Pufnstuf

When we’re young, so many mysterious, adult things enter our lives and we, oblivious in our innocence, never recognize them for what they truly are.

Thank God.

Then, one day Jackie Paper decides he has better things to do and turns his back on the world of childhood, perhaps forever. He turns the key in the lock and opens the door to adulthood.

Welcome to the machine, kid.

From the (disad-)vantage point of the grown up world, things look a little different. As there’s a subtle yet crucial difference in perspective from a grassy knoll to, say, a Book Depository window, so too adulthood’s viewpoint casts a different light and different shadows on old, familiar scenes.

Like the psychadelic magic mushroom land of HR Pufnstuf.

Pufnstuf was based upon the acid-induced dreams of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, who claimed to have had the drug injected into him by his arch-nemesis, Antonio Salieri. During his hallucinogen-induced trip, Mozart completed all of his most widely-acclaimed works, including The Magic Flute, an opera about a magic flute.

Cooke took the concept of the magic flute and placed it loosely into the hands of a swinging, happy-go-lucky teenager named “Jack…”

The BBC recently announced plans to produce a new “reality” television series based on H.R. Pufnstuf, entitled H.R. Pufnstuff Idol. In the new show, contestants will be set afloat on a foam-rubber island ruled by the foam-rubber dragon. One team will try and protect a magic flute, while the other team tries to steal it. The team that fails to execute “Jimmy” will lose the immunity challenge, and it must select the weakest link who gets “Witchy Poo’d” upon.

The winner of each episode will win a position on the Dancing on Ice judging panel, a new washer and dryer, and all the Marmite they can eat. The second place winner wins a date with classic British beauty gone horribly bad, Jayne Torvill.

It will be a ratings monster.

No, I’m not sorry I said it.

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