Hipster Potter and the Philosophers, Stoned

Hipster Potter and the Order of the Phen-Tex

Hipster Potter and the Order of the Phentex

What’s Phentex you ask? Oh, silly little person. Don’t worry, it’s quite esoteric and you’ve probably never heard of it.

And, yes, more gossip links. I’ve just gotten a huge project off my desk, so no worries, I’m going to have more time for REAL blogging now.

Chairdancing With The Hotties (raincoaster)
Bobby Trendy, Big Mouth (Ayyyy)
Johnny Depp-O-Rama (Lolebrity)
Lindsay Lohan’s badass, coke-seeing escape attempt (CelebrityBeehive)
Heather Graham has swimmer’s ear (AgentBedhead)
David Arquette mistakes Howard Stern for Oprah Winfrey (AmyGrindhouse)
Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Suddenly, there’s not a dry seat in the house! (CeleBitchy)
The end days are upon us: even men hate Jennifer Aniston now (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Bad Panda! (DListed)
That’s a whole LOTTA tablecloth, Keira (GoFugYourself)
Taylor Swift is still an angsty teen (HaveUHeard)
Raisin on board! (INeedMyFix)
Perez Hilton, nice guy? (PerezHilton)
Does Britney Spears have a crush on George Stephanopoulos (PoorBritney)
Michael J. Fox goes back to Back to the Future! (SeriouslyOMG)
Adam Sandler makes a lousy lesbian (ASL)

 

How to make tennis interesting

Like this!

Married To The Sea

Married To The Sea on making tennis more interesting

Season of the Witch

The firecrackers have started in Chinatown and the first of the Skytrain costume parties is over. The stores are decked in a crazy clashing kaliedoscope of pumpkin orange, black, red, and green as Christmas tries to force its way through the doors before all passengers have disembarked, the passenger in question being Halloween.

Here is something to make the moments go a little faster. The moments until you can declare all the candy in your house “leftovers” and gobble those little Snickers bars as fast as your paws can peel them.

The Club Mix of Season of the Witch, by Eartha Kitt.
Fabulous visuals by Queerty (via Defamer)

Can you name them all?

Neopagan flames in the comment section, please. But be warned: I’ve actually read Margaret Murray’s The Witch Cult in Western Europe. Bring your game, people!

Optimus Prime is gay, too!

Dumbledore is gay

Now that Albus Dumbledore has been thrust out of the closet, brutally outed live onstage at Carnegie Hall (surely every closety fellow’s worst nightmare, especially if the ghost of Judy is watching) it seems the ripple effect is rocking not a few boats in the world of children’s entertainment.

One that’s particularly rocky is the Transformer di Tutti Transformers, Optimus Prime. A word of warning: the following video contains cringe-inducing self-doubt, blindingly obvious truths unacknowledged, and a narcissistic self-absorption entirely at odds with a typical childhood perception of the hitherto entirely macho Opti. Click at own risk…to your own childhood dreams, and the thinnest closet door in the whole flimsy Dream Factory.

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123 ways to drive Voldemort insane

(er)

Elvis! Voldemort!

Stolen from Myspace, which stole it from Mugglenet. If anyone has the original link, I’d be much obliged if they’d put it in the comments so I can add it. Found it!

1. Ask him why he ‘doesn’t have such a cool scar?’

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. ‘Round, round, get around, I get around…’

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.

11. If you ever need to say ‘Like taking candy from a baby’, be sure to add ‘Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.’ Stare pointedly at him.

12. Play ‘knock-&-run’ at his bedchamber door late at night.

13. Call him ‘The-Man-Who-Let-the-Boy-Live.’

14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn’t look like something ‘more socially acceptable?’

15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.

16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.

17. Be cheerful.

18. When he tries to impress you with his powers, say ‘Awwwww, lookit. Voldie’s got a twiggle!’

19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.

20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like ‘You’re the boss, boss’ or ‘It’s your funeral.’

21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic ‘My sir, you look particularly menacing today.’

22. Taunt him about his middle name. ‘Marvolo? What’s that – a washing detergent?’

23. Keep a ‘good-behaviour chart’. Award points and give out gold stars.

24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.

25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. *poof* there *poof* gone *poof* there…

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