It has come to our attention here at Operation Global Media Domination’s Mountain Lair that not everyone around the world celebrates Christmas the way we here in the People’s Republic of Canuckistan do. In Belgium they prepare their children for abduction by the loathesome Black Peter, while in Spain there’s something about six or eight black men…I didn’t really follow that part…and in Australia, of course, where it’s the height of summer, they spend the solstice season celebrating the birth of Archie.
This is how we celebrate the season in my country:
HOCKEY!
BITCHING ABOUT WORK!
Union Lightbulbs
OCCUPYING!
Occupy Christmas
PRETENDING INSTEAD OF ACTUALLY SINGING OUT LOUD!
DRINKING!
Now THAT is a Canadian Christmas
What else is there when you can’t afford to shop? Oh, right, work for awesome clients who pay in cases of wine instead of cash! This is my favorite way to get my Christmas shopping done, actually.
Christmas is coming and Hanukah is here already, so here’s an equal-time hump day Unicorn Chaser to freshen up the longest week of the year on the longest night. Light it up with this innovative, nerd-resonant solution to your seasonal decorating challenges: the Katamari Damancy Christmas … Thing.
The thing about these tinfoil trees was you were supposed to buy one of those rotating multicoloured spotlights so it wasn’t actually prettily silver or colourless; it would throb alternately in red, blue, yellow, and green, like a pagan discotheque on Mars. If you tried to use one of these things nowadays, you’d probably scramble cellphone signals for a square kilometer around. Comedy gold.
But let’s not see it as Two Solitudes; let’s see it as partners.
Hanukah and Christmas kittehs
Oh don’t they just look SO pleased to be celebrating the season together? You can’t see Druid Kitteh, as he was up in a tree at the time this photo was taken.
and, last but not least, in fact foremost in Unicorn Chaserianism, is this video of puppies playing under the tree. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…
There’s no use wishing Kim Jong-Il will rest in peace, because that would be the farthest thing from justice this or any other world could perpetrate. If it weren’t such a long walk, I’d put my dancing shoes on for this. Instead, in keeping with my new mantle of professionalism, I have decided to make this exclusive photojournalism report on Kim Jong-Il‘s journey to Antenora, the Second Round of the Ninth Circle of Hell. First, let’s remember the Beloved Leader as he was in life:
Yep, that’s pretty much it. Now direct to our exclusive coverage, featuring pix from those intrepid photogs over at the World’s Suddenly Least Purposeful Blog, KimJongIlLookingAtThings.
If I do say so myself, I got some kickass photos today.
And won the Great Poutine Bet, although I should have known better than to bet with a tory with a tory judge presiding. Count your fingers after making THAT handshake deal.
Vodpod videos no longer available.
According to the one protester left to mind the placards and People’s Lovely Lending Library, about 300 people showed up, with the protesters only slightly outnumbering the media. After the obligatory speechifying (which I am glad to have missed) they then strode over to the viaduct into the port, where they were met by a count of 35 Vancouver police officers ranged across the bridge, completely blocking traffic, whether pedestrian or vehicular.
Here is Court, reporting from the scene:
Now, the Great Poutine Bet has everything to do with whether or not traffic was able to move into or out of the port, even though Dave doesn’t seem to think so. He and I had a bet: that if Occupy Vancouver shut down access to the port (and by that, what moron would think I meant completely sealing it off? We don’t have a geodesic dome big enough anymore!) on Monday the 12th, I’d win all the poutine I could eat, and if OV did not shut down access to the port, he would win all he could eat.
Is #FreedomCurds or is it not the best hashtag of all time? Thank you, it is.
Anyhoodle, Dave weaseled out of the bet as expected, even though FoodNotBombs shut down access via the Clark bridge in the morning, OV shut it down at Britannia in the afternoon, and in early evening another group of OV shut down the Clark onramp again. Shut down access to the port.
Five people were arrested at the second Clark occupation (well, five people left involuntarily in custody of the police, although police say only two were arrested) and later released without charges filed.
Oh well, one must be philosophical about such things. Once Dave tries my cooking, he’ll realize that there are many ways of winnning, and many ways of losing.
raincoaster 