No, REALLY: Julian Assange is a big, fat stainless steel rat just like I told you

Julian Assange has a halo just like I always told you

Julian Assange has a halo just like I always told you

Just like I told you people months ago, Julian Assange is in fact and in actuality and even IRL a stainless steel rat. Who has some tricky issues with Uranus.

First up, Judy Vitale from ReadTheStars. I kind of adore Judy; she’s that slightly loony aunt who makes family reunions tolerable by getting into the Chardonnay and telling people Things They Don’t Want To Hear all night long. Through the crack in the bathroom door if need be.

According to Judy, our boy has a problem. He’s got no fire. He’s all Earth and Water and of course to anyone familiar with the muck he’s neck-deep in right now, this makes total sense. His Uranus (Hisanus?) is squared, poor boy; they can fix that with surgery nowadays. In response to his elemental blockage, he’s compelled to seek out Fire in other people. May I make a suggestion? You can ask AngelNeptuneStar, I’m generally both surrounded by fire, friendly or not, and exuding it myself. Heck, you can ask Albania. Or this NYCTarotReader with whom we spoke earlier.

Seriously, JA, call me. Let’s hook this shit up.

More from her reading from March of this year:

Does Julian Assange have that much influence?  In his head, apparently yes.  If Mr. Assange had spoken to an astrologer, though he would have found that he is in danger of making presumptuous, inflated and grandiose statements at this point in time, as Jupiter comes through to affect the positions of Uranus and the sun at the time of his birth.  Jupiter has an inflationary effect.  Yes, it can mean luck and exposure, and it can also signify braggadocio and over-confidence to the point of arrogance.  In his case, and in anyone’s for that matter, the last thing an over-pumped Uranus needs is a killer dose of steroids! No matter your opinion of Assange or how accurate his self-assessment might be, it’s patently obvious he is a disruptive, revolutionary, and some say, innovative force.  This is the energy of Uranus.

Myanus isn’t nearly that energetic, actually. And I really don’t WANT to know how Jupiter Juice got all over it, I just want him to clean up after himself.

Turning now to the exotic East, that is, the Downtown Eastside, we have a community doctor who also happens to know a thing or two about Chinese Horoscopes, and here is that report, fresh off the Twitter wire:

http://twitter.com/#!/InnerCityDoc/statuses/140461964722831360

Kelly Mattheis (@InnerCityDoc)
Nov 26, 2011 @ 17:43:48 

The timing of this blog post was impeccable. Upon further investigation, (because sadly I have nothing else to do) Julian Assange was actually born in the month of the Rat (albeit a Wooden Rat.) The year, however was a Metal Pig… so Astrologically somewhat close.

Kelly Mattheis (@InnerCityDoc)
Nov 26, 2011 @ 18:28:16 

Not to be outdone by a woman with a moon and star blanket…

Admittedly, I don’t know anything about Uranus, but from a Chinese Astrological perspective and not knowing what time he was born, here’s my take.

Yes, Assange does not have any fire easily seen in his Chinese chart, however I would characterize his as more of a Water/Earth issue. He is an earth person with a strong Water team dominating his chart. Earth is supposed to block water but his is yin earth (Earth Ox) immediately beside a yang wood element (Wood Rat) – the image of a tree with it’s roots penetrating into soft soil comes to mind. The water element governs communications. Perhaps his innate inability to block all that water makes him a bit – shall we say, “Wiki-leaky?”

Contrarian me would suggest that it might mean he’s blocking the wiki-leaks instead?

OccupyVancouver becomes OccupyHarper

Occupy Harper

Occupy Harper

Our Robot Overlord Stephen “Landru” Harper didn’t get quite the reception he was expecting at today’s photo-op at Science World in Vangroover. Or maybe he did. Either way, today was an unequivocal win for the Occupy movement, even before the Prime Minister’s gilded coach SUV ran over a couple of bicycles while fleeing the scene.

http://twitter.com/#!/wendylund/statuses/140309754038845440

Oh, he’s done for now!

http://twitter.com/#!/LesterBPiercing/statuses/140232268319961088

Harper Hates Bikes

Harper Hates Bikes

In fairness, she looks hella dangerous. And what business did she have locking her bike up on a city-provided bike rack in the first place? Asking for it, totally.

And by the way, nobody seems to have noted that it is illegal to drive motorized vehicles on the Seawall in Vancouver, so Heil Harper was in fact breaking the law. But the VPD got flak when they broke the idling laws:

After a while (and I believe after we had started effecting Harper’s schedule) the motorcycle cops started their engines and moved into a formation. They then say there idling and the crowd began to remind them of Vancouver’s anti-idling laws. A good time was had by all!

Not all of his escorts were unsympathetic to the protest:

Harper's Men in Suits

Harper's Men in Suits

http://twitter.com/#!/caveaged/statuses/140169830270648320

In fact, the Men in Suits bear an uncanny likeness to another politically active group.

United as one divided by zero

United as one divided by zero

No wonder I love a man in a good suit!

And then, Harper scarpered. Don’t worry, you’re doing a heckuva job, Harpy!

Heil Harper

Heil Harper

Occupy Vancouver 2.0 and Occupy Vancouver 3.0 : Robson Square and Grandview Park

OccupyGrandviewPark

That guy looks totes familiar. Oh right, I think I saw his face on the wall of the Post Office…

United as One Divided by Zero

United as One Divided by Zero

The likeness is uncanny.

The guy in the photograph wasn’t on 4chan, though, he was at Grandview Park. Perhaps I’d better back up a day or so.

Occupy Vancouver, which had been Occupying the plaza north of the Art Gallery since its inception, was Injuncted by the City, with the result that they had to move house off that specific site. So they did: to a block South, the extremely beautiful and extremely under-utilized Robson Square Plaza outside the Provincial Courthouse. I used to work there, and that plaza is a gorgeous, multilevel space of considerable desolation, since nobody ever goes there.

http://twitter.com/#!/AY604/status/139130756202102784

Occupy Nullify

Occupy Nullify

Now, I was not and am not a fan of allowing Occupy Vancouver to be moved: as I’ve said repeatedly, it’s not Civil Disobedience until you Disobey something.

No one rules if no one obeys

No one rules if no one obeys. Your moment of Zen

but of course, I wasn’t camping, so I didn’t feel I had the right to decide that for the people who were, and those people decided to move to Provincial land, which the plaza is.

http://twitter.com/#!/OccupyVancouver/status/138781121088471040

It’s also well-covered over a fair bit of its area, with concrete cubbyholes where a tent can be snug and protected, which turned out to be very important when that night saw winds up to 90 km/hr. I picked up my camera around 2am (after washing all the dishes in the house and doing some darning as a procrastination measure) and headed over to the old site to view the wreckage, of which there was some but nowhere NEAR as much as I expected.

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As you can see from the slideshow, it was nonetheless desolate: cratered, soaked, the wood chip surface dissolved into a decomposed, ice-cold tea, which had necessitated the use of recycled pallets to elevate the tents out of the muck. No longer necessary, the pallets were stacked here and there by the paths, so if anyone wants some free firewood, here ya go.

Ashleigh‘s memorial is still on the site, but the umbrella that sheltered it is gone. At least it’s still protected by fluorescent posts and Caution tape.

I got shots of the entire chalk mural along the East wall of the stairs, and it is beautiful and of course impermanent, so that made me happy.

There was someone sifting through the fountain basin with a flashlight and bag, but when I asked him what he was looking for he turned his back and left. Some people are so touchy.

There was one tent left, but it was full of rubble: I’m nosy. I looked.

Then I went over to the new site and interviewed Cameron Bode of Occupy Vancouver‘s media team on how to do the livestream under circumstances like that. If that part of the livestream is embeddable, it’s news to me, but I’ll try. We did a walking tour of the Robson Square site and then went over to the old site for a trip down nostalgia ave. The umbrella blew out and completely wrecked near the end, and at that point we lost the ability to livestream because you can’t do that in a downpour without shelter of some kind, so oh well, we went back to the site and did this interview.

Shots from the new site:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

After spending the night in the relative snuggity of the new site, Occupy Vancouver (having proved they could be shoved around and displaced, like a powerless vagrant) was moved along again by another injunction. Premier Christy Clark tweeted her heartbreak that Occupy Vancouver was obeying the injunction:

http://twitter.com/#!/christyclarkbc/status/138810210671267842

Of course, injunctions don’t have spirits or souls, and neither, apparently, does Christy Clark, for in the middle of some of the worst weather all year, she ordered her staff to stay up all night getting the new injunction. And then boasted about it.

http://twitter.com/#!/kulpreetsingh/statuses/139240862201815040

Poor babies. Tell me, were they doing it in the middle of a public plaza during a wind and rain storm? No? Didn’t think so.

http://twitter.com/#!/OccupyVancouver/status/139119679015886848

And as predicted, they got their injunction. At about 4pm, Occupy Vancouver packed up again and moved to what they assumed would be a welcoming new home in the heart of EastVan.

But EastVan ain’t what it used to be. There were tweets saying residents showed up with signs telling them to leave Grandview Park (that was fast work, guys, very fast work) although when I got there no signs at all were in evidence, just one flag with which I could use some help: what the hell is it?

UPDATE: The flag of the free republic of Cascadia!

OccupyGrandviewPark

It ain’t Lebanon, that’s all I know.

Relations with the cops were…bipolar. But we hugged it out.

Occupy Grandview Hug

Occupy Grandview Hug

The chaos didn’t stop some really profound things from going on at the GA:

http://twitter.com/#!/OccupyVancouver/statuses/139229035120168960

After about an hour of photography I left, but in the meantime saw some interesting things including a media scrum with a woman from City Government of palpable importance whom I don’t recognize (I should watch tv news more, I guess).
UPDATE:

Dr. Penny Janet Drury Ballem,[1] MScMDFRCP is the city manager for the City of VancouverBritish ColumbiaCanada and served as a member of the VANOC board of directors, corporate director for Bentall Capital G.P. Ltd., as well as a senior adviser to RPO Management Consultants.[2] She is a physician and clinical professor at the University of British Columbia Medical School in the department of hematology and bone marrow transplant.[3]

OccupyGrandviewPark

She reaffirmed that Stanley Park was leased by the City, provincial or not, and that if there were ANY structures put up in it, they’d be removed by the City. When I asked her about Musqueam and other First Nations territory, she was visibly relieved to say the City had no authority there. So…something for future reference. Another friend says the land under and around the South end of the Burrard Bridge is Coast Salish, which would be very, very interesting indeed as a site for Occupy Vancouver.

Occupy Vancouver Injunction Provincial

Occupy Vancouver Injunction Provincial

Occupy Vancouver Injunction Provincial 2

Occupy Vancouver Injunction Provincial 2

And one final word, from the horse’s ass’s mouth:

http://twitter.com/#!/Medha_/statuses/139134020465340416

Vancouver Election Night Report: God, I Love This Town

It’s the Juiceman, by a trickle. But in more interesting news:

I have a stuffed lobster. What more do you people need????

I have a stuffed lobster. What more do you people need????

http://twitter.com/#!/raincoaster/statuses/138132302436892672

and

http://twitter.com/#!/bgilliard/statuses/138135272763301888

That platform:

FOX, Amy “Evil Genius”

Hello Vancouver.

That's an evil genius we can all get behind!

That's an evil genius we can all get behind!

Most candidate profiles are just resumés and vague promises.

But I? As finance director of Sublime Conception and as a Supervillain, I offer you a Bold New Vancouver with shocking changes like 1. affordable housing, 2. accessible transportation and… 3. livability!

  1. Let’s end the NPA/Vision housing bubble! Squatters will occupy idle buildings! Taxes on non-resident owners and property flippers will finance mixed income housing! Let’s smash one third of streets and, upon their ruins, build houses… and parks!
  2. We’ll catch bike thieves with “bait bikes!” Cars that plow through crowded crosswalks will be sold for parts! How about a city-wide “safewalk” program? Traffic-calming circles!? Curb-cuts!? Roofed…bus-stops!?
  3. Motor vehicles will have proper mufflers! Ban car alarms and booming subwoofers! Replace helicopter flyovers with nice, quiet zepplins!

And rename streets after people who weren’t rich English landowners.

Curious?

You’ve got ten votes.

Join me.

Like I said before:

Oh, Vancouver, NEVER CHANGE!

The Most Brilliant Protest Idea in the entire history of this space-time continuum

Knock Knock, who's there

Knock Knock, who's there WE TOLD YOU TO EXPECT US!

No, seriously,

The.

Most.

Brilliant.

/Shatnervoice

from GramercyPolice on Gawker:

…organize a fake protest flashmob. When the police show up, they should say they’re not protesting, they’re just impersonating protestors. See if Bloomberg still orders the police to beat up some reporters and Iraq war vets, just out of habit. Of course, then he’d say he’s only impersonating a mayor telling the police to beat up reporters and Iraq war vets. It’s all very meta.

Post-postmodernist, and almost certainly not prosecutable. Suddenly, 2pm Monday afternoon looks a lot more interesting.