The Darwin Awards for 2006

Charles Darwin, yo!These are the most popular nominations, by public vote, for the year’s best examples of removing yourself from a grateful gene pool by sheer force of your own innate (or learned) stupidity. Interestingly, the overwhelming winner is contentious enough that they are considering removing the category altogether; it seems that there are quite a lot of people who believe strongly that pounding on RPGs with a sledgehammer or rolling an unexploded bomb downhill is not stupid behavior if the alternative is poverty. In these cases, however, the alternative was a life in poverty, which is surely the smart choice under these or, indeed, any circumstances.

Seriously, people, economic imperatives only override physical ones when the intellect fails; this is why they are called the Darwin Awards. You can’t provide for your family if you blowed yourself up real good; species who favour food which is poisonous to them tend to die out. Simple.

Donald Trump or Stephen Harper, feel free to disagree and to take your disagreement to the nearest RPG or bomb on the top of a hill.

Stories Ranked by Vote

Hammer of Doom 8.0 (2421 votes)

Stubbed Out 7.8 (1838 votes)

Star Wars 7.8 (1664 votes)

High on Life 7.7 (1423 votes)

Score For Goliath 7.3 (2150 votes)

Copper Kite 7.3 (1006 votes)

Faithful Flotation 7.2 (1804 votes)

Technical Difficulties 5.9 (46 votes)

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quiz: how deadly of a sinner are you?

This has got to be broken. No way is this me, and I’m all in a prideful wrath about it, yew betcha. Just look at me wrathing! Wrath, wrath, wrath! Boy, I don’t think I’ve ever been this wrathy, I’m telling you! And I intend to do something about it, too, just as soon as I get motivated. Any day now. Why should they have all the glory of writing a test when it doesn’t even give me accurate results, eh? I should tell all their readers, and give them the link to MY blog!

Greed: Very Low

 

Gluttony: Low

 

Wrath: Medium

 

Sloth: Very Low

 

Envy: Medium

 

Lust: Medium

 

Pride: Medium

 

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

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the second deadly sin: not just for humans anymore!

Oh, scuse me!

Urp. Scuse me!

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panic in Latvia!!!

Boar-ing!Citizens in Riga, the capital of Latvia reported that a “wild boar” (a very bristly, scrawny, runty-looking kinda pig) had escaped from its pen, that’s how wild it was, it lived in a pen – I guess it’s wild the way Christopher Hitchens is Jewish – and was marauding through the Lavian countryside and even cityside, trotting happily through back lanes, parking illegally, scaring lapdogs, and poking its snout into people’s yards.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, but where does Metro come into this?

Right here: regardless of his claims of Celticism, he must in fact be Latvian, since his reflexes so perfectly mirror those of these obscure Balkananianses: they called the SWAT team.

From Yahoo via Fark.

RIGA (AFP) – A police SWAT unit was called out to a gas station in the Latvian capital early Friday after a wild boar was spotted wandering around the facility.

“We received a call at about 2:00 am (0000 GMT) and sent out special operations unit ‘Alfa’,” state police spokesman Aigars Berzins told AFP Friday.

“The boar was about three years old and had wandered in from a wild animal yard,” he said.

Such yards are becoming more and more popular in Latvia, and are often set up in wooded suburban areas near big cities.

“The wild hog had broken the fence and got out. It was not afraid of humans at all,” Berzins said. [but not, apparently, vice versa]

Without using either special weapons or tactics — the first letters of which give SWAT units their name — the elite police unit rounded up the boar and took it back to the yard.

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headline o’ the day: Fark on Saddam Hussein hanging

Seriously, they’re beer-sodden geniuses over there. Check it out:

S-dd-m / H-ss-in / T- / H-ng / in / H–rs