From Defamer, cuz you just knew they were gonna be all over this story.
So it seems that the Australian genius behind Survivor isn’t completely immune to stereotypically uh…Australian behavior. He and his flying monkeys at the prodco have decided that what Survivor really needs is blatant racial conflict, and who among us can say they’re wrong?
I’m of the opinion that what it needs is a swift dose of euthanasia, but that’s just me…
Yes, this year for Survivor: Cook Island, they’re dividing the teams up by race. Simple, efficient, and already worth about 30,000 words of press.
The Defamer commentors have all the best lines in this case, not to mention the best illustration, which I stole and posted above.
BoHan says:
Scientology vs. Kaballah. That would rock. Plus you wouldn’t have to search to hard to find the token gay person. I’ve heard of one Scientologist today whose dance card is now wide open.
and the immortal:
Toothy_Tile says:
Welcome to CBS’ “Fun with outdated stereotypes and gross generalizations!” This will be a difficult one to handicap. With no cars to drive on the island, Team Asian‘s traditional achilles heel will be out of the picture. Team Latino will be pretty good at gathering the fruits and vegetables, no doubt. Team African-American will of course sweep the athletic challenges.
Team Whitey can go a few different ways, of course. If the team is mostly Jewish, it’ll waste its time starting conflicts and lending conch-shells-as-currency to the other teams, which will distract it from the challenges at hand. If the team is mostly Italian-American, expect the other teams to suffer random kneecap injuries, and lots of impromptu ways of cooking maggots and cockroaches in marinara sauce. And if the team is WASPy, expect it to get ahead by hacking into the other teams’ Sidekicks, spewing racial epithets all around, opening an outdoor nightclub or boutique hotel on the Westside of Cook Island, and gaining extra boosts of energy by doing lines of coke off of stray coconut husks.
raincoaster 
Burnett is, to quote Scott over at >Darren Barefoot, not Australian, but rather a British-born naturalised US citizen.
Please be careful about the uh … stereotypically Australian practise of stereotyping. @$$#0|3$ come in every shape, size and colour.
Especially with Australian accents. Hey, I should get a free crack at him, especially since I took the high road with Mel “Road Warrior” Gibson!
You took the high road?
Hey everybody! Raincoaster had a Kodak moment!
Or maybe a YouTube moment, these days.
Unfortunately, although I have apparently got three messages on YouTube and one reply to my comment on another post, YouTube itself won’t open for me until I do a damn restart. Fuckit.
And yes, I took the high road with Mel “Road Warrior” Gibson. Wasn’t he raised in Australia?
You will notice, RC, that I blogged about this on Wednesday, 4 days ago.
Does this mean you don’t read my blog? Or it’s only news once it comes from Gawker?
:P
I didn’t get it from Gawker. In fact, I haven’t checked Gawker since Thursday.
And I read the LORICAT blog the other day. The one you left a link to? Remember?
I have two blogs…one that I put the absurd stuff on, one I put the book stuff on. I alternate when leaving posts here…(I just assumed you read both…*sniff*)
Not when I’m unconscious. When did you last read the Shebeen Blog?
Survivor my ass. “Starchy, bitchy, whiny c-level actors behaving badly”, more like.
What I want to see is all these teams being dumped into an Arctic winter in competition with an Inuit team.
The Canadian forces used to test your survival skils by dumping you in your basic combats (“battledress” for Brits, “fatigues” for US citizens) all alone into the wilderness (north of Cochrane Ontario, but probably east of Banff) for a week with a huge crate of supplies. They used this test with the Airborne, and with Pioneer regiments, recce companies, and some engineer outfits.
Each item in the crate was sealed in plastic, and there were point values assigned to each item. For example, unwrapping the knife earned you five points, but unwrapping the parka might be twenty. There were 1000 possible points worth of shelter, keep-warm stuff, food, water, etc in the crate.
The object of the game was to get as few points as possible. I think the failure level was 200 points. My scout leader had earned five in total. He repeated the test three times after that. When we asked why he shrugged and said it made for a nice vacation off-base.
Let’s see those Survivor pussies do that.
Ya, ya, my father did that. Never told me his score though, but he did tell me they dropped them in pairs above the Arctic Circle and his “roomie” was so annoying he kicked him out of the igloo.
And Metro, do the words “entertainment value” mean anything to you? Consider this as a television popularity show, not as a test of strength, and consider bikini-clad actresses vs parka-packin’ palookas.