300, the game! Spartans vs Persians, old-skool!

300

So the movie 300 is a jingoistic, bombastic, cartoonish, homoerotic two-hour military recruiting video. I mean, they say that as if it’s bad!

Some demented and nostalgic genius has taken this simpleminded movie and given it perhaps the ultimate Generation X accolade; he’s made a Nintendo Entertainment System game out of it.

The reviewers should have just watched this instead of wasting ten bucks and two hours of their time. As for me, I could watch and watch…pot, Pearl Jam, and Doritos optional.

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134 thoughts on “300, the game! Spartans vs Persians, old-skool!

  1. Pingback: boy advanced advance » 300, the game! Spartans vs Persians, old-skool!

  2. after i saw that movie i wanted to go home and make a speer and i keept saying we are SPARTAINS !!!!!!!!

  3. the movie was great and i cant wait 4 d game…..

    we r SPARTANS………the great warriors of sparta….

  4. I want the game but the graphics suck and FiQ 3vil it’s “THIS IS SPARTA” AND THATS WHEN HE KICK THE DUDE, DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. this movie is one of the best movies i have ever seen SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!

    the game should be sweeeet so you should make another one with the thousands of soldiers.

    SWEEEEEEEt!!!

  6. people, people the concept of watching that film is to entice the viewer to go out and create evil as much as i liked watching that film i strongly think that its a bad role model for younger kids in this generation especially with the killing now day. I think its mainly promoting violence.

  7. No, the concept of watching that film was twofold: to turn on the people who like to look at hot men and to propagandize for the war in Iraq and possible future actions in Iran and across the region. And it was so patently obvious that it turned out to be much less useful as a form of propaganda than the producers had anticipated. Public opinion is even stronger against a confrontation with Iran now than it was before.

  8. I think that you cant link the war in iraq at all with 300. it is purley for a addrenilin rush because i no i was hyped up after watching that groosom film. if u ask me potentially further killing can in a sense get linked with that film. At the end of the day wat was the producer thinking and did he have a moral.

  9. He had an agenda. It’s clear from the whole “Leonidas asking the oracle’s permission” scene that it is meant to parallel Bush’s subversion of the very structure of government, bypassing Congress to invade Iraq. It is absolutely clear that this is what was intended: to ennoble that illegal and un-American action. And it’s pretty clear to me that it failed.

    Sure was purty to watch, though.

  10. You are trying to make ”Bush” look like a god, by trying to match him with the oracle. Also the Spartans didnt ask for permission to fight, they was forced into the decision. But i can link a bit of the war in iraq with 300 as they started the war and the spartans enemies was hatefull and was looking for a fight.

    300 was based on past events which happened hundreds maybe thousands of years ago.

  11. d00d, you need to do your research. Or at least watch the movie again.

    The Battle of Thermopylae is well-known and pinpointed in time. They know exactly the three days over which it happened. I’m not comparing Bush to a god: I’m saying the producers are comparing him to Leonidas, held back by those who are traitors to their country, touting a slavish adherence to law. In reality, Bush is a halfwit preppy playing cowboy: all hat, no cattle.

  12. geeza, so ur trying to link leonidas with bush who has no part in war at this current moment. he a scared little boy that tries to live up to his expectation of being a warrior which i am afraid to tell you he aint.

    p.s how old are you

  13. @Primal Rage UK:
    Raincoaster giving Bushco props? You haven’t read much on this blog, eh?

    As far as propagandizing for the Iraq war (or the Persian Excursion II if you’re of an historical turn of mind) may I direct you to the insightful and restrained analysis of Mr. Dan Savage?

    With nothing but time on my hands this week, I slipped out of the office and went to the movies. Have you seen 300 yet? It’s about a handful of lightly armed ancient Greeks–the Spartans–who take on the mighty, massive Persian army.

    Some feel the film is homophobic; some feel it’s a conservative, pro-war piece of agitprop.

    Homophobic? It’s Ann Coulter on a meth binge.

    The Persian army is an armed gay-pride parade, a threat to all things decent and, er, Greek. The king of the Spartans–among the most notorious boy-fuckers in all of ancient history–dismisses Athenian Greeks as weak-willed “philosophers and boy lovers.” The Persian emperor? An eight-foot-tall black drag queen–mascara, painted-on eyebrows, pink lip gloss. Emperor RuPaul is positively obsessed with men kneeling in front of him. Why gay up the Persians? So that straight boys in the theater can identify with the Spartan king and his 300 soldiers–all of whom appear to have been recruited from and outfitted by the International Male catalog.

    What isn’t up for debate is the film’s politics. The only times the Persian army doesn’t look like a gay-pride parade in hell, it looks like a crowd of madly chanting Islamic militants. And if the Spartan king has to break Spartan law to defend Spartan freedoms? Well, sometimes a king’s gotta do what a king’s gotta do. Because, as the queen of Sparta points out, freedom isn’t free. And, yes, she uses exactly those words. George Bush is going to blow a load in his pants when he sees this movie.

    Stolen wholesale off of Savage Love

  14. Primal Rage, I’m probably a lot older than you and evidently a great deal brighter than you. I have no doubt that elements in the US government were “advising” on this film and had it turn out the way it did; where it tries to make a parallel between Bush and Leonidas is where it departs from the historic record. Savage is an innocent if he thinks any of this came as a surprise to the White House; it’s a straight-up PR move. If you didn’t understand that, great, that just proves my point that it wasn’t a very EFFECTIVE PR move.

  15. Sorry, RC. I’ll go with the idea that the director and/or producer were shameless Bush suckers, and not in a good way. But you’re going to have to produce evidence if you’re going to call this out-and-out (but not “out”, if you understand what I mean) propaganda.

    The Path to 9/11 was written by a fawning sychophant and promulgated by ABC/Diznai .

    Come on and connect me some dots on 300, please.

  16. Top Gun was rewritten at the request of their Navy advisors; this is nothing new, nothing whatsoever. Why would the producer tie his cart to a lame duck unless there was something in it for him (other than being an apologist for a loser)?

    Oh, fine. I was going to read Defamer anyway…

  17. You know what’s weird? Every time I try to open a page giving me more information about Craig J. Flores, one of the executive producers, the page freezes and will not open. It won’t display a thing; I’ve tried French sites, British sites, IMDB, you name it.

  18. Apparently. I’ll give it another shot later tonight. Strange that you’d get executive producer credit on a hugely expensive movie when you have, apparently, nothing else to your name. They have no military consultants listed as such in the crew credits, so that’s why I’m checking out the producers.

    Of course, each branch of the military has its own Hollywood liason office. Maybe I should just drop them an email.

  19. “Military consultants?” On a sword-and-bejewelled-thong epic?

    “What do you think, General Petraeus?” (Doesn’t he have the loveliest name for a closet leatherman working on a flashy, Greek, film?)
    “Wal, first get them boys some damn body armour!”
    “Sorry sir, the budget is being overseen by the Bush Administration. They’ll just have to make their own.”

  20. Yeah, but I bet they spent a lot more money on wardrobe in the previous incidents.

    Curious parallels, aren’t they?

    Come to think of it, didn’t Ronald Reagan once refer to military uniforms as “costumes”?

    Interesting how this sort of stuff happens when the guys in charge have both manliness issues and dubious records of service.

  21. As long as it’s so over the top that it’s ineffective as propaganda, I’m fine with it. As you know, we’re highly in favour of half-nekkid, highly decorative men.

  22. hey3……raincoaster…u rite the men r hot lyke tat…haha…but 2 bad 4 tem…
    but is great 2….
    half-naked is no problem…ryte every1……..

  23. d warfare in sparta last tyme is no greater than now…..
    N bush is no god 2 mi…he suffer veri one who goes 2 iraq…

    im sad 4 tem….

    2day war is not lyke tose ancient greece type…a phalanx of tem against others..
    wow

  24. this movie is the worst i have ever seen maybe you should make persians look cool and have waked on there muscells

  25. tyu;tuj;mkjgikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk your move i sucks id like to see the spartans beg for mercy

  26. this is an enfluence on iran fight against usa now the spartans should lose and persiand should ruel.the queen should die with leonidase and tthe spartans are wone of the barabaric people in the worl i mean look at there sword the look liuke pirates swords lol. this is a bad movie

  27. Sorry, RC. I’ll go with the idea that the director and/or producer were shameless Bush suckers, and not in a good way. But you’re going to have to produce evidence if you’re going to call this out-and-out (but not “out”, if you understand what I mean) propaganda.

    The Path to 9/11 was written by a fawning sychophant and promulgated by ABC/Diznai .

    Come on and connect me some dots on 300, please.

    raincoaster said,
    April 24, 2007 at 11:24 pm

    Top Gun was rewritten at the request of their Navy advisors; this is nothing new, nothing whatsoever. Why would the producer tie his cart to a lame duck unless there was something in it for him (other than being an apologist for a loser)?

    Oh, fine. I was going to read Defamer anyway…

    raincoaster said,
    April 24, 2007 at 11:56 pm

    You know what’s weird? Every time I try to open a page giving me more information about Craig J. Flores, one of the executive producers, the page freezes and will not open. It won’t display a thing; I’ve tried French sites, British sites, IMDB, you name it.

    Metro said,
    April 25, 2007 at 12:16 am

    The game’s afoot!

    raincoaster said,
    April 25, 2007 at 1:14 am

    Apparently. I’ll give it another shot later tonight. Strange that you’d get executive producer credit on a hugely expensive movie when you have, apparently, nothing else to your name. They have no military consultants listed as such in the crew credits, so that’s why I’m checking out the producers.

    Of course, each branch of the military has its own Hollywood liason office. Maybe I should just drop them an email.

    Metro said,
    April 25, 2007 at 7:35 pm

    “Military consultants?” On a sword-and-bejewelled-thong epic?

    “What do you think, General Petraeus?” (Doesn’t he have the loveliest name for a closet leatherman working on a flashy, Greek, film?)
    “Wal, first get them boys some damn body armour!”
    “Sorry sir, the budget is being overseen by the Bush Administration. They’ll just have to make their own.”

    raincoaster said,
    April 25, 2007 at 8:51 pm

    There were military consultants on each of the previous two films about this incident.

    Metro said,
    April 25, 2007 at 9:14 pm

    Yeah, but I bet they spent a lot more money on wardrobe in the previous incidents.

    Curious parallels, aren’t they?

    Come to think of it, didn’t Ronald Reagan once refer to military uniforms as “costumes”?

    Interesting how this sort of stuff happens when the guys in charge have both manliness issues and dubious records of service.

    raincoaster said,
    April 25, 2007 at 9:38 pm

    As long as it’s so over the top that it’s ineffective as propaganda, I’m fine with it. As you know, we’re highly in favour of half-nekkid, highly decorative men.

    FiQ 3ViL said,
    May 4, 2007 at 4:12 am

    hey3……raincoaster…u rite the men r hot lyke tat…haha…but 2 bad 4 tem…
    but is great 2….
    half-naked is no problem…ryte every1……..

    FiQ 3ViL said,
    May 4, 2007 at 4:15 am

    d warfare in sparta last tyme is no greater than now…..
    N bush is no god 2 mi…he suffer veri one who goes 2 iraq…

    im sad 4 tem….

    2day war is not lyke tose ancient greece type…a phalanx of tem against others..
    wow

    arvand said,
    May 12, 2007 at 10:48 pm

    this movie is the worst i have ever seen maybe you should make persians look cool and have waked on there muscells

    arvand said,
    May 12, 2007 at 10:49 pm

    tyu;tuj;mkjgikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk your move i sucks id like to see the spartans beg for mercy

    arvand said,
    May 12, 2007 at 10:50 pm

    i think the spartans should lose thare hole army to the coool persians

    arvand said,
    May 12, 2007 at 10:56 pm

    this is an enfluence on iran fight against usa now the spartans should lose and persiand should ruel.the queen should die with leonidase and tthe spartans are wone of the barabaric people in the worl i mean look at there sword the look liuke pirates swords lol. this is a bad movie

    Post a Comment

  28. this movies was ace. the fact that the spartans were overwhelmed and they fort till the very end is amazin this film is ace. and i cant wait for the squel were i think the 10,000 spartans go to war with the persians

  29. No; if you recall, all 300 Spartans died. The main Spartan army served months later under Athenian command. I think the force was 15,000, but it was mostly a naval battle if I’m remembering right. My Thucydides is not what it once was.

  30. well 1st of all you all need to get your facts straight… i mean come on the sequel where 10,000 spartans fight the persian army,.. not very likely… 1st of all people tend to forget the other 7000 greeks that faught alongside leonidus and his spartan warriors until he ordered them to retreat when they found out that the pass had been deserted by their allies and they were about to be flanked by the persian armies… then people also forget about the other commander in the war (i forget his name) but he held of the persian navy to aloow the spartans not to be flanked by the ships… now back to this “sequel”, the persian goal was to burn down athens as payback for their embarrassment in Marathon… the naval commander ordered an evacuation and the persians burnt athens to the ground… after the catastrophe a double agent for the athenian army gave false information to the persian army which set the persian forces into a trap where the athenians destroyed the persian ships which left Xerxes (the persian emperor) no way to transport himself and his troops back to persia which some believe was the begining of the end of the persian empire…. lol so a great battle between the remaining spartans and persia wold be highly unlikley

  31. Yes, the Athenians destroyed the Persian army…with the help of the remaining Spartans. So we’re both right.

    But I do get a snicker out of those who think of this just as a movie and graphic novel, like they could just bring them all back “oh, it was just a bad dream” or whatever.

  32. Uh, d00d, I liked the movie. But I can certainly understand, from your comprehension level, why it’s unrealistic to expect you to read the book. Even if it WAS a comic book.

  33. the spartans are bigger than all your souls togethher so dont say nothing about them becouse they die against a tirany like hitler so AHU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  34. Look i have read all this shit.
    1. this movie was based on a GRAPHIC NOVEL written in 1962, it had no storyboards they used the book thus there is no Bush Iraq conspiracy get a life and a job then move out of your mothers basement.
    2. who said Spartans were Boy lovers? there is no proof to this day that spartan boys had any sort of man love.
    3. “bring them all back like some kind of bad dream”? the Novel was full of dramatizations, inaccuracy’s, and false facts the writers admit this!
    4. as for Mr. Savage, someone needs to look into his history a little bit better, it was very VERY common for men in the Persian empire to wear face paint that would resemble mascara today it was to strike fear into the enemy giving the wearer a look of sunken eyes.
    5. ok i have killed all your little theory’s so now you can go back to playing your computer games and wasting your lives and raincoaster, take the helmet off, No Russian spy planes are watching you.

  35. Whats with you people… this is no propaganda film. Go read the freekin comic. It’s been out for ages and the movie follows ALL of the comic almost to each individual scene.

    This was just another smart move by the people that have been grabbing quality comic books (frank miller btw *the author*) and turning them into a new source of income.

    Stop reading stuff into something that was in the works well before all this BS happened over seas with Bush involved. Miller never kept to the original story of the 300 besides they go they fight etc… but he made a good comic book and it turned into a good action movie. That’s it… The people look how they look for dramatic effect, and adaptation from the comic book as best could be done… That was the illustrators job… not some political nazi.

    It was just a comic book turned into a movie and even maintained 99% of the comic book. Nothing more, nothing less.

  36. Film. We were talking about the film. We were talking about parallels between the film and the propaganda of the US, and the timing of the release of the film, which the producers admit was manipulated at the request of the government.

    Nobody is talking about the graphic novel except you graphic novel nerds.

  37. the film was the best film ive ever seen when i seen it all i did was go out and buy all ps2 games like that but no romans or anything like that i just brought SPARTAN game!!!! i agree with ben ive got the game on psp but i wont it on ps2 so that was just so stupid im out cya

  38. When I saw this move I started to think, Ya I think I could live through it. From a child plunged in to violance “shit man thats easy stuff. It was wimpy having kids fight kids to make them stronger but living in the wild alone to fight weather and nature “NOW THATS A CHALLENGE FOR ME” I would accept.

  39. I can’t believe some of these shallow comments regarding the movie 300, I saw the movie and liked it very much. The movie has no link to the war in iraq nor does it promote violence. The movie is based on actual historic events in which King Leonidas and 300 spartans fought to the death against King Xeres and his massive persian army. The spartan code was to live only to serve Sparta, to die in battle for the service of Sparta was considered to be a “Glorious death”. People who believe that the movie is linked to the war should research spartan history. People who beleive the movie promotes violence in children should consider helping their children distinquish real life violence from movie or TV volence.

  40. Yes, yes, I studied Spartan history and Greek literature and read the historic accounts, thank you very much. But the producers have admitted they played up elements to resonate with people thinking about the war in Iraq, so if you disagree, take it up with the producers of the film.

  41. You can play similar mods of Medieval Total War 1 & 2 as well as Rome Total War.

    There was actually a Hellenistic mod made for the original medieval that was freakin’ wicked awesome. One of the scenario battles you could fight was Thermopylae, with the Persians eventually outflanking your Spartan and assorted allied hoplites (don’t even get me started on the historical inaccuracy of the film) from the rear and causing near total routs.

    Coincidentally, I’m mildly obsessed with the Brittania expansion for MTW2. The Norweigans are mighty fun when going on Viking excursions.

  42. all right one thing you all have wrong is 1 spartain still survived the on whom lost his eye and gave leonides wive his necklace. DUH

  43. Some of you have it parly right, not all are correct though.

    The king used the allied greeks’ phalanx when the first wave of troops hit, to tire out the persian troops, then he ordered back the greeks and sent in the spartans to wreak havok on the persians, at the time the “Spartiates” as they were called. The elite full citizen’s of the spartan army were the best of the best, they were uncontested. The persians short weapons and weak armor was no match for the spartans, apparently the first wave of persians was cut to shreads with only three spartan deaths. The persians wepons were so useless that the persians started trying to take the spartan spears off them in battle, so the spartan’s switched to short swords, which they were leathal with.

    Then xerxies sent his best, the “immortals” who were also cut to shreads.

    Even after sending the allied greeks home the spartans held their own, king leonidas died and the spartans surrounded his body and defended it with such ferosity(sp?) that the persians fell back and killed all the spartans with bows.

    The persians could not break the spartan phalanx, there was only one time in recorded history where a spartan phalanx was broken which was very close to the time of sparta’s downfall.

    And whoever said spartans only helped in the battle of Plataea, is wrong.

    The other greek states asked sparta three times, practicly begged for sparta’s help for the battle, sparta was the major power in greece at the time, and had the best warriors.

    They did not simply “help”. The spartans sent 45,000 men, 5000 “spartans”(not all warriors in sparta were Spartiates, they were the elite)

    This is a large sum of men considdering at it’s height sparta had 8000 Spartiates, maximum. The spartan force was the majority of the men at that battle.

  44. Oh and i forgot to add, the naval battle did not help leonidas, it was leonidas who held back the persians for long enough for the greeks to plan the naval battle and win.

    It is widely thought that if leonidas had not stood his ground for those three days, greece would have been overwhelmed, then europe, the reason who persia invaded greece was because it was his gateway to europe. This would have made a great impact on the worlds history.

    Some could even say, he changed the world, or infact stopped it from changing dramaticly.

    The numbers were still amazing for the battle in itself, at the time it was the largest army ever assembled. He had roughly 260,000 men, to leonidas’ 7,500(ish).

    Many, Many more persians died to that of the greeks.

  45. the movie is unlike any thing i have seen.

    The naraitor tells the story perfect.

    lianaiders the only real sparten i have ever seen.THIS IS SPATA!

  46. Look at the little troll, just getting his sea-legs. Isn’t he sweet? It’s probably the first time he’s been off Club Penguin and out in the real world. Awwww.

  47. when i saw the movi a had no coment i wish that i em spartans sparta is my mother i realy like that scen when leonidas go in war but dont cry “no place for weknes not in sparta only hard can make themselvs cals spartans only the hard only the brave” “spartans ready your breakfest and eat harty for tonight we dine in hell”

  48. when i saw the movi a had no coment i wish that i em spartans sparta is my mother i realy like that scen when leonidas go in war but dont cry “no place for weknes not in sparta only hard can make themselvs cals spartans only the hard only the strong” “spartans ready your breakfest and eat harty for tonight we dine in hell”

  49. Your Grace

    I dinnae ken how I can better that Sage who opined in circumstances alike about similarly mal-adjusted Chelsea Football Supporters or their Ilk:

    Arma virumque cano et

    Your obedient servant etc

    G E

  50. the cretins were at crete but the fled to protect there homeland leaving the spartians to fight alone

  51. My friend’s daughter played Leonidas’ daughter in the film. Sadly, she didn;t get to meet Gerard Butler. She did her short scene in front of a green screen on a sound stage in Montreal.

  52. Thanks for the marvelous posting! I genuinely enjoyed
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    I want to encourage you continue your great writing, have a nice afternoon!

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