Pirates of the Great Salt Lake

Stolen from the Baby Jebus.

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When Giant Pacific octopi attack

Octopus tattoo!

Metro passes along this beauty of an installment in our ongoing series When Octopi Of Various Kinds Attack. Yes indeedy, we here on the soggy left coast of the continent sure know how to welcome tourists.

By strangling them with our tentacles.

I saw a strand of red kelp drifting by. I noticed a line of white suckers running along it. Next something heavy dumped on my head. Another tentacle with delicate suckers curled in from below and pulled my mask away from my face, flooding it. I felt other tentacles squeeze the right side of my face and pull on my hood. I’d last seen my dive buddy peering into a crevice — he didn’t appear, although I turned around a couple times hoping he might take a photo. I tried to brush the octopus off my head, but he squeezed all the tighter…

The thing I like about this post most, though, is the way the diver doesn’t seem to think the attack by a Giant Pacific Octopus merits its own blog post, or really anything more vivid than a simple “and then it did this and then I did that and it let me live and then I went back down [ed. note: WHA????] and took some more pictures and they turned out well and…” The man clearly has icewater in his veins, so he should fit right in around these parts.

You just know that tattoo is going to be all over the Drive in about three weeks!

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u got served

Ronald rules the world

You got served, and so did everybody else. The Ronald McHummer McDonald’s sign generator, thanks to Juvenal for passing it along.

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agenting: the second-oldest profession

Hand Job...well, there could be worse jobs. Like being an agent

Some people take it FAR more seriously than others. As I said on Gawker, there was really only one, but Wylie kept changing his wigs.

A literary agent pal sends along a braggy email from a fellow agent; apparently, it’s been floating around the industry a bit.

From: [lady agent]
Sent: Monday, January 22, 2007 11:11 AM
To: [long list of colleagues]
Subject: I had to beat off SIXTEEN other agents to sign this guy!

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sex sells

Safe sex tips for cathouses

I’m sure we can all agree that nowhere on Earth is safe sex quite as important as it is in a cathouse. Finally, the Humane Society of Kentucky has decided to do something about that; they’re bypassing the oft-subservient human staffers and advertising directly to the animals who get the urges.

An advertising campaign by the Kentucky Humane Society to promote a new spaying and neutering clinic uses “edgy” references to sex and condoms in the hopes of drawing public attention — and it appears to be largely succeeding.

Hmmmm. I wonder if, like many a sad-sack lite beer consumer who falls for the bikini-clad capers in the ads but whose life remains profoundly prosaic and bereft of bikini beauties, the poor, innocent yet randy cats and dogs will be left feeling like they’re missing something.

You're going to get WHAT?

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