I see the NFB flick which originally exposed the Canadian Conspiracy has been expunged from public records, more thoroughly erased than the memory of that guy…that guy in Egypt…whatsisname. But where there’s a web, there’s a way. By painstaking restoration work and the spiriting of ancient parchments out of the National Archives where they lay, to all intents and purposes buried, expunged from the collective consciousness, we have brought the truth back into the light. Gaze upon our works, ye mighty, and despair.
From “The Canadian Conspiracy, ‘eh?“ [sic]
The foundations for the Canadian conquest of the American entertainment industry were laid in 1909 when “America’s Sweetheart” and Toronto, Ontario native Mary Pickford arrived in Hollywood on orders from Canadian Prime Minister Sir Wilfrid Laurier. Her plan was endear herself to the American populace through cinema and then use her clout to take over the industry. The plan was hugely successful as Mary Pickford climbed the social ladder to the top, marrying film celebrity and heart-throb Douglas Fairbanks in 1920. The United Artists studio was formed by Pickford, Fairbanks, D.W. Griffith and Charlie Chaplin in 1919. It was to be Pickford’s base of operations for her future plans of conquest. But Chaplin, an agent of Britain’s government, soon sensed something was amiss and moved to head off each of Pickford’s moves. A rift formed between the two, and between Canadian and British celebrities in Hollywood.
After losing his seat in the Canadian Parliament in 1911, future Canadian Prime Minister William Lyon Mackenzie King was employed for a short time by the Rockefeller Foundation in the United States. It was Sir Wilfrid Laurier’s last decree as Prime Minister that Mackenzie King use his new position to layout what would come to be known as “the Canadian Conspiracy”.
But the truth will out, no matter how politely, and so it is with the great Canadian Conspiracy. We, along with Gawker, Anonymous and the entity known only as extremelydusty, have banded together to ensure that the truth is never more forgotten.
Canadians are taking over the USA…the takeover of the American Media, in every possible form, has already been done.
The top bands Americans listen to nowadays are Canadian. The news they watch is controlled by Canadians.
The shows they watch are filled with references to Canada. Example: the producers of South Park and many of the actors, even though having an Anti-Canadian film, note that is actually an attack on America, and that many of the people who work with South Park are actually Canadian. Trey Parker and Matt Stone have said “We love Canada!”. The Simpsons, the biggest cartoon show on the planet, is the greatest example of the takeover. Homer Simpson is based off a Canadian. Canadian references are everywhere. In fact, Springfield could be actually based off the Canadian City “Ajax” in Ontario.
Over 20% of Hollywood is now Canadian. For example, the highest paid actor, and the funniest man on the planet, a proud Canadian and Toronto Maple Leafs fan, Jim Carrey, is a Canadian. Big hit rock bands, like Nickelback, make the top of America’s charts and control.
The North-West Passage
If I Had a Rocket Launcher
The War of 1812
Hail your lumberjack overlords, y’all!
* raincoaster acknowledges the ongoing indifference shown by the Government of Canada through The Canada Council for the Arts and the (non-existent) Blog Publishing Industry Development Program (BPIDP); and the Government of British Columbia through the BC Arts Council.