Night of the Covid Briefing Bingo

Named after the fact that I stayed up all night to reset my clock and also after one of the wolfman movies of Paul Naschy, which are delightfully cheesy but somehow have heart. He was never supposed to star in them at all (he was a writer) but for some reason I forget and which you did not come here to learn, he ended up starring in a whole raft of them.

I didn’t think “The Covid Briefing Bingo’s Bloody Terror” was quite appropriate. Yet. We’ll see where we are come December. So, Night of the Covid Briefing Bingo it is.

Our previous bingo cards:

Here’s our video from October 20th’s briefing; we’re going to be sticking with CPAC, methinks, from here on out because it’s me who makes those decisions and while I love Rosie Barton, I’m not thrilled with the CBC generally at the present time. Also I’m getting a kick out of testing my French, which has become slightly less appalling than it used to be, even if I’m so rusty I’m not technically bilingual anymore BUT I’M SO OVER THAT.

Trudeau, Freeland, Tam, Njoo, and Ng.

Here we go, in English and in a blue suit, so mark those squares. Also the maple leaf mask is there, so get that one as well.

200,000 cases of Covid-19 have been diagnosed in Canada, which is pretty horrifying. But then, with fewer than 10,000 deaths, we do have a mortality rate among the diagnosed which is roughly 50% of the US’s, so that’s good. I’d love to ask Dr. Tam why that is, mostly because it’s a great opportunity to wave the Socialized Medicine flag.

BANG! We’re on to the Fifth Generation card right away, with a strong “Team Canada” right in the first minute. And there’s the app reference, and PPE as well. We might actually fill in a line on one of these goddamn cards some day.

Small business week is definitely your “non-religious day, week, or month”. And there’s “From the beginning”. And now we have “names a small business” and did you notice he mentioned the Vancouver business in his English remarks, but the Papineau business in his French remarks. I did. SEE I TOLD YOU MY FRENCH WAS GOOD ENOUGH! But I’m over that.

The Community Resilience Fund is of intense interest to me; radicalization has been my journalistic focus for quite some time, and I have some excellent plans for some related projects. I’ll definitely be following up on that.

And there’s your “Announces yet another way to give Canadians money” thanks to Minister Ng. Every time they do this the Conservatives die a little. And there’s the mandatory “use the app” lecture. The Roommate is very angry that a doctor at his work was diagnosed with Covid-19, but a) the app didn’t notify him, and should have if the doctor had it installed and b) I note that even though he found out about it two weeks ago HE DID NOT TELL ME gosh I hammer the capslock when I’m sleep deprived and may have been exposed to a deadly virus without my knowledge, eh?

Freeland is wearing pearls, so that’s on your Fifth Generation card.

There’s Dr Tam asking those of us on social media to share the news about these briefings and fight disinformation and misinformation BUT YOU THINK I CAN GET AN RT FROM THESE PEOPLE? Nooooooooo! But I’m over that.

On to the questions from journalists now. Trudeau KNOWS he’s going to get that bloody WE thing yet again, and doesn’t he just look thrilled about it? Oh, and there’s “Audio malfunction” so mark that off. Even the Prime Minister gets muted sometimes, it appears.

And there’s your “Drinks water” square. And of course the “WE Scandal crawls out of the grave to terrorize/bore Canadians yet again”. And there’s your “Sign language interpreters get swapped out.” And your “Mentions a reporter by name.” By golly, I think we’re going to complete a column or row in this thing pretty quickly.

And there’s “From the very beginning” yet again, so make sure you have that marked off. I think it’s on the Third Generation card.

Ottawa says no trick or treating, and the Trudeaus are huge Halloween fans, so they’re fishing around for other options. At least there won’t be any blackface this year (yeah, somebody had to be That Asshole so I stepped up and did it).

There you go, “Conspiracy Theory” is in action. Lordy, the “Covid concentration camps” thing is evergreen, isn’t it? And it’s so obviously a psyop to convince people with the disease to hide it.

And we have “someone admits they’re not familiar with what the journalist is referencing” and also “Freeland’s papers go all the way across the desk”.

Dr. Tam is really all over this “Make your own social media stuff to fight disinformation” thing, and she might actually talk me into taking OpCovid19 out of mothballs. And obviously, mark your “Vaccine” square.

And there’s Freeland with a really good spontaneous talk about systemic racism. Using the word “racist” to describe racist attacks is not inappropriate or unhelpful.

And that’s a wrap, y’all. See you…at some vaguely defined point in the future!

3 thoughts on “Night of the Covid Briefing Bingo

  1. Stopping by to help get you to 40k comments. That said, I’m a rather recent reader/new to your Work and loving my deep dive into it. And the fiercest sense of humor. I cackle outloud when reading these Covid Bingo to the point that my roommate has “checked on me” a coupla times. Also, thank you for all the work helping poor & marginalised folk. Happy Bday!

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