KonMari Covid Briefing Bingo

Starting late, kittens, rushing to get this posted. Consequently, today is all about minimalism. Which is, of course, a bougie affectation, but we can argue about that later.

Here goes:

Video, with 741 people staring at the de-porchscaped front steps of Rideau Cottage:

Speaking from outside his home in Ottawa, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic.

And, wow, CPAC Captioneer is well and truly Over It. Those captions used to run to 300 words!

Bingo Cards:

Trudeau begins with “riot…incited by the current President” Wow. Unmoderated condemnation of the violence in Washington and of Donald Trump as well. I mean, there’s no question he earned it.

And of course the computer freezes and I get bounced off the Internet. Mark “Technical difficulties” square. And “Begins more than ten minutes late.”

Mark “Stern teacher voice” and “Who we are” and “Shades Trump without naming him”. “Team Canada” and “Vaccines” and “Specific conspiracy theory mentioned” and “Pfizer” also in play. There you go, “Moderna” as well. And “PPE” and “Whatever it taeks, as long as it takes.” and “We have your backs”.

On a lighter note, mark “outdoors,” “Facial Hair”, “At Rideau Cottage”, “Outerwear” and “New Porchscaping”.

“Specific Canadian business mentioned” twice. And “Second Wave”. And “App”. Counts if it’s in French and I catch it. Do I have a square for “Now more than ever?” And mark “Can see your breath,” and it is indeed a frosty one out there. And mark “Who we are” because “it’s what we do” is the same thing. “Spring is coming, Summer is coming” mark that square. And no twinkling today. Not a twinkly day.

Oh yeah, mark your “gloves” square, as usual. We’re tearing through these squares. Will we get “attack and dethrone god”? And mark “Team Canada” too. And “Scarf”. I forgot “Scarf.” Sorry, Scarf.

“I think that it’s extremely important that we be there to defend democracy…that choices made by people in power can have an effect not just on behaviours but on our institutions is a very important thing.” Pretty fucking unequivocal condemnation of Trump and damn the consequences. Good going!

Good question about designating the Proud Boys a terrorist group. Shoulda done it YEARS ago when we found all those military guys were in it; and should have expelled them too. Dishonourable discharges all around. But not translated into English, alas, so mark that “Fails to translate it into the other language.”

Anyone else tired of hearing how we have more doses per capita than any other country? The reason they’re not in Canadians already is that the provinces have fucked up the distribution.

“Thousand yard stare” in action as he’s asked, basically, “Did you expect Donald Trump’s presidency to end this way?” And yeah, that was passive-aggressive when he mentioned just how much he was looking forward to working with the new administration. Only so many times you can mark the “shades Trump” square.

Meanwhile, The Roommate is trolling me. He knows that I’ve been on an ultra-low-calorie, low protein diet for five days, and he just brought in a TRAY of BBQ from the local BBQ place. Tomorrow I’ll be off the diet and I plan on getting a full rack of ribs, some pulled pork, maybe jerk tacos, and possibly a burger. And a VAT of Manhattans. VAT, people.

“We are not immune to that in Canada.” Well, no, we INVENTED the Proud Boys. Can we revoke Gavin McInnes’ citizenship now? Pretty please?

Mark your “Sign language interpreters swapped out” square. And that’s a wrap. And that’s a wrap. Check back in a couple of hours for a more fully-formed #Covid19 #BriefingBingo replete with the embeds and quality memes that you’ve become accustomed to.

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