The Septem Annorum Covidian Philosopher’s Briefing Bingo

Today’s briefing is brought to you by this seven year old Covidian philosopher.

Kid has spoken for all of us, hasn’t he?

We’re standing around, all 320 of us watching the CPAC video, waiting for Trudeau who is late for the briefing at his own house, from the glamorous location known as Front Yard. Even the sign language interpreters are waiting. Well, I’m sitting in my usual chair, having lost the struggle with The Roommate for control f the tv, so this briefing will be done by flipping back and forth between tabs on the computer. If I miss a “Gesticulates” or a “Drinks water” or whatever, let me know in the comments.

And somehow I am not yet an accredited member of the parliamentary press gallery; may have something to do with not having applied, and yet one suspects that my odds are the same whether I do apply or not. Ain’t nobody replying to my emailed questions to the PMO. I might have to actually…phone.

*shudders*

i’M a ReAl rEpOrTeR dAmMiT!

And now, our video:

Ah, dammit, forgot the Bingo cards:

I said I’d get you new bingo cards for Monday, swearsie-realsies, and this blog remains committed to delivering on our promises. Coming through for our readers is the core of the heart of what we do, what we always have done for you, from the very beginning, every step of the way, and will continue. Yes. Spring is coming, and so are new Briefing Bingo cards. There is nothing more important to this blog, and those who support this blog, than coming through for our readers. Every step of the way. We’ve got your backs.

Also, we didn’t say WHICH Monday, did we?

New rules for land border crossings: you’ll have to show similar negative test results as airline passengers. Mark “Vaccines” and “Pfizer”.

Also: Outdoors, outerwear, Rideau Cottage, Scarf, Starts more than ten minutes late, My aunt calls during the briefing, and I really need a square for “My headphones crap out” because yeah, that happened. The Roommate’s very loud tv show playing inexorably in the living room means a sudden retreat to my room, which makes me feel like the most mature 15-year-old in the entire world. Not sure if that’s good or bad.

Also “Rapid tests”. And by implication, “Shades the provinces” ARE YOU LISTENING DOUG FORD?

“Tests must be deployed, they can’t be allowed to expire.” DOUG FORD ARE YOU LISTENING? If you are, you can mark your “passive voice” square.

Trudeau needs a haircut. He’s well off into Japanese Boy Band territory now. He’s talking about interest on tax debt and whatever, I ain’t paying taxes this year because, thanks to the CRA fuckup over CRB, my income won’t be high enough. It’s only February and I’m already calling it. And same for 2020.

I’m taking the deductions that I had in 2019 and probably rolling them over to 2020 so I won’t pay extra taxes either year.

Well thank god. If you claimed CERB based on gross income rather than net, you won’t have to repay what ever has been paid out. Trudeau goes on to list all the benefits available to Canadians even if, as in my case, they actually are not, because CRA takes their sweet time processing the documentation they’ve required of taxpayers and in the meantime suspends those benefits. But I’m over that.

UBI is officially an election issue. There, I said it. So mote it be.

“We’ve got your backs”. Prove it. You are precisely halfway there right now.

I wonder if Gavin McInnes has claimed any of those fine federal government supports for small businesses like, say, the Proud Boys. Hmmm.

Which reminds me, I’d put good money on the Tuesday the 23rd briefing being delayed until, oh, say, 2pm or thereabouts. Corey Hurren sentencing across town at that time, you see.

Huffpo reporter? You need? To work? On your delivery? But good on you for reviewing and explaining whistleblower law to direct whistleblowers to speak to journalists, and asking Trudeau if he’ll expand the law to save lives?

Trudeau goes straight to “We’ve done a great job!” “I feel like you’re constantly saying the right things but you’re government’s actions don’t follow through.” She’s not wrong!

“Got your back” for the second time.

I’ll have to jump back in and fill this in fully later, because I can’t type on one tab and watch the video on the other, nor can I force The Fucking Big Bang Theory off the main tv in the living room, as The Roommate who owns both tv and living room is watching it.

Oh yeah, “Gesticulates” square active, and “Donc” as well. Whyyyyyy did I not think of the word “Trudeaufro” until just now? Because yeah. Haircut, my dude. It’s a thing.

“Can see your breath.” And earlier, “Specific Canadian mentioned” and “Specific Canadian business mentioned” although he didn’t mention the brand name which, you know the owner is sitting at home screaming “WHYYYYYYYYY” into the uncaring void.

“From the very beginning” mark that square, and “PPE” as well. God, I need a square for Same Old Vaccine Supply Question, don’t I? Maybe by the end of the day today. And that “we don’t get through this anywhere until we get through it everywhere” which isn’t a square yet, but should be.

“App” square and oh god, not QR codes! PLEASE IT IS NOT 2003! Not QR Codes, the fax machine of the internet!!!

“From the very beginning” mark that square, and “PPE” as well. God, I need a square for Same Old Vaccine Supply Question, don’t I? Maybe by the end of the day today.

And that “we don’t get through this anywhere until we get through it everywhere” which isn’t a square yet, but should be.

The Canadian visa application centre in Beijing is controlled by the Chinese police. Yet Trudeau soothingly says that security and privacy are #1 with Canada. Suuuuuuure. Suuuuuuure.

I mean, using Five Eyes as a touchstone and talisman of privacy and citizen security is laughable.

Now we’ve got a whiny question about the poor Calgarian international travelers who are in hotels and not allowed to wander about freely, shedding #Covid19 cooties as they go.

“Touches face” square active now. And I’m not going to comment on that CERB speech, because I’m just too fucking pissed off. And “Every step of the way” for the third time. And “Technical difficulties” as my internet momentarily crapped out, and that’s a wrap.

Just reading this over, I appear to be in something of A Mood today. I’m sure SOMEBODY out there cares about the interest rate on repayments of taxes on CERB, or, say, the rate of increase of eccentricity in Earth’s orbit, but it sure as fuck ain’t me.

Meanwhile, elsewhere, life goes on in 2021.

And now we close with a Heraclitian reminder that the more things change, the more things stay the same.

Meanwhile, in the US:

THIS is happening:

A review of Grifter Andy Ngo’s new book on Antifa. And yes, you must always use the preface “Grifter” when naming him. It’s called the Fairbanks Rule, and I’ll explain why some other time.

Ron Wright was the anti-vax guy who insisted schools reopen during a pandemic. He just died of Covid-19.

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