Category Archives: Allegory

the cat lady raps

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and sings. Off-key.

It’s true what Tina Turner said, that rap is a great thing because now you don’t even have to be able to sing to be a rock star. Very egalitarian.

And Jessica Delfino can’t sing, really, well, she’s about as good as I am, meaning she can’t sing, really, but she sure can write a catchy tune, and she raps pretty well for a white girl. As the fellow who put it on YouTube says, “Such a pretty face, such a dirty mouth.” Definitely a winning combination, now as ever.

But is it porn?

I came to the vid from The Apiary, who titled it “Dicks at YouTube Don’t Care Much For Jessy Delfino’s Vagina” via Gawker, who headlined it “YouTube Hates Vaginas.”

CONTROVERSIAL SINGER-SONGWRITER Jessica Delfino‘s latest chart-topping single[sic, I’m supposing this is a joke], “My Pussy Is Magic,” has been expunged from the pages of YouTube. The video–a virtual palimpsest [also sic; I have no idea what they think this word means] of stark images of Jessica tunefully fluttering in front of stark images of vaginas–was banned this morning.

And restored in a coupla hours. There’s something to be said for being Gawked and Aped and (as would have happened inevitablybut is at this moment only waiting in the wings) BoingBoinged and Farked.

As Jessy said on YouTube:

If God had meant us to be naked he would’ve made us that way. Naked women is not porn according to law, so YouTube should move to Iran where it is a crime. Neo-Nazis are bad people.

She may be a little upset. And from her blog:

This morning, “My Pussy Is Magic“, the new dance hit video by me, Jessica Delfino, was removed from Youtube.com for being considered “inappropriate”! Inappropriate my ass! If anyone saw the video, they saw lots of vaginas. Since when are vaginas inappropriate? I came out of a vagina, and so did the makers of Youtube.

The video had reached 20,000 views, and then was removed this morning.

Youtube was bought by Google, and now my poor, rising video was crushed. Does Google censor art!? Write to them and ask!

Well, that pussy is back. Power to the Pussies!

Pussies want to be free.

Canadian Content vid: Lorne Michaels terrific with beaver

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That’ll teach him. Everybody knows to stay away from those shrill, self-centred beavers; they’re nothing but trouble. Even if they allow you to bill yourself as “the tall, good-looking one.”

With bonus coverage of Canada’s national tragedy: Dutch Puck Disease.

hApPi woRLd mEntAl HeALth dAy

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wut? WUT??? 

tHat;S aLl i WanTeD TO sAy#

  1.  ;
  2. ooo
  3. }}}

celebrity sex toys: Brad Pitt edition

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Hokusai Wave 

Ah, Japan. Land of the Rising Sun, the cherry blossom, mystical Mount Fuji, and blithely flaunted sexual perversions that would curl the toes of a back street dominatrix.

How I love you.

Yesterday I finally took a long-delayed trip around Japanprobe, and was not disappointed. There I found delights such as the lonelygirl15 of the East, the video blog of an inflatable sex doll’s day-to-day life in the booths (account now unaccountably suspended, whodathunkit?).

cherry blossoms and Mount Fuji

Among the gems to be found on the site was this, and for it I am truly grateful. Not that I own one. No, no, no, perish the thought.

Besides, I don’t have a credit card.boy and Mount Fuji

I remember with fondness the old Spy article about what Hollywood stars will get up to for money as long as they think none of their real fanbase will ever see it; Peter Fonda as an alien whose ejaculations are so powerful they blow the head off his partners comes to mind (so to speak). Yet, somehow, I suspect that this not-so-little beauty wasn’t exactly approved by the man whose image is being used to sell it to legions of Orientals of both sexes who rationalize, not without some justification, that this is as close as they’re ever gonna get to that cowboy from Thelma and Louise.

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separated at Photoshop: Ann Coulter and Susan Estrich

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Estrich-Coulter, menopausal on menopausal action

Yep, it’s hot-flashing menopausal-on-menopausal action as my favorite lefty harpy Susan Estrich brings out a book whose cover bears a stunning similarity to the latest from Republican plagiarist Ann Coulter, 45.

Susan Estrich has, as I’ve commented many times before, an unusual gift: even her fans hate her. She could polarize a tub of Jello. She could throw a hot tub full of Care Bears into a teeming caudron of steaming gore and tearing fangs in seconds. I don’t doubt for a moment that it was the mere presence of someone reading Galleycat on Estrich‘s book on set that provoked Dr. Burke to throttle Dr. McDreamy.

Yes, at last, someone with whom I have something in common. Also, I bought her diet book. And both of us are still chubby.