library of hate

Homeless...but at the time able to access DickensFrom Sploid, although it’s been sourced in any number of other places over the past year as well.

Being homeless comes with any number of inconveniences, not the least of which is the boredom that comes with having nowhere to go and nothing to do.

Until recently, hobos in Massachusetts used to be able to check out library books.

Robert Bombard has loved books even longer than he’s been homeless. He worked at the library as a teen, volunteered there as an adult and even worked in the prison library during his last stretch.

He got a rude awakening three years ago when he went to check out a few books from the Worcester Public Library.

“They said ‘Oh, no — you live at a shelter,’ right in front of everybody,” he told Adam Gorlick of the Associated Press. “It made me feel like a second-class citizen.”

It seems a new policy said that people without a permanent address were forbidden to take out more than two books at a time.

The city’s head librarian, Penelope Johnson, says the lawsuit over this change in policy prevents her from discussing the number of books lost to the homeless, she would only say that it had become a problem.

She adds that the policy — which allows folks with homes to take up to 50 books — wasn’t meant to discriminate against the homeless, just treat them differently.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Thanks for the clarification.

Homeless people...but presumably still voters

One is reminded, one is, of a long argument one had with one’s coworker about whether or not the coworker had the right to sunbathe nude. One took the position, one did, that if the coworker had the inherent right to sunbathe nude then so did people who didn’t own private courtyards. It was at this point the negotiations broke down. I call it for the homeless… but the cops don’t always see it the same way. In fairness to them, they wouldn’t call it for the property owners if they had the chance, either.

But I’m still pale as a banana slug.

Librarians have historically been among the most patriotic and freedom-loving members of this great nation. Time and again they have thwarted efforts by government storm troopers to stomp on the civil rights of others. This is indeed a sad turn of events.

punchline o’ the day: Defamer on agents

Jamie Gold, CHIPs officerDefamer has possibly the best writers in the blogosphere, and every now and again they show you why.

I’m gonna be cruel and make you jump over to their site for the killer punchline, cuz that’s how I roll.

But read the setup first, otherwise there’s no payoff.

Unless you already work in Hollywood, in which case you’re living this nightmare.

“Agents ate my baby” shirt owners, hollaback!

Conflicted Former Agent Plays Winning Poker, Fears Fame

Reality show producer and former agent Jamie Gold is currently the chip leader at the World Series of Poker No Limit Hold ‘Em Championship in Vegas, but he’s terrified of winning–not because he’s afraid of the millions of dollars he’d take home, as an agent’s moneylust never truly fades, but rather because he fears the fame that a victory will bring. In an interview with ESPN.com, Gold explains why the idea of instant celebrity is so frightening that he openly muses about taking a dive into second place:

“I don’t want it,” Gold said. “I’ve seen what it’s done to other people. I’ve worked with actors from James Gandolfini to Felicity Huffman to Lucy Liu.”Gandolfini wanted nothing to do with fame. If you notice before ‘The Sopranos,’ he never did a movie that put him in the spotlight. He never did Jay Leno. He never did an interview. He never talked to the press. He didn’t want any of it. He couldn’t stand it because he knew what would happen to his life.

“He got in an accident in New York City and someone walked over to him and said something like, ‘Well, you’re Tony Soprano, so you don’t need any help.’ Craziness. It’s insane..”

It’s not too hard to understand why a behind-the-scenes player (or anyone who’s even fleetingly considered a messy suicide upon hearing an actress discuss who she’s wearing on the red carpet) like Gold would eschew the spotlight, but we think there might be a deeper psychological explanation for his fame-phobia revealed by the Gandolfini story.

Find out what it is here. BTW, ‘nother hottie, but he I think he flies the other airline. Either that or he’s emo; all I know is, I’m not that good with eyeliner.

Blackzilla

the Rapture index

 Rapture Index, getcha rapture on!

This looks to be about as accurate as those “arrival/departure” listings at airports, but it’s better than nothing. Until I get my own set of finely-calibrated Swiss stigmata, I’ll just have to bookmark The Rapture Index, your handy-dandy guide to the approaching End of Days.

Today’s forecast is for continued instability, with an expected average Rapture Score of 158 with lows of 151 and highs of 159, which reminds me of the Hard Drug Report (was it Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie?); for the weekend flurries of cocaine are forecast, with highs where you think you’re superman and lows where you’re depressed and impotent.

Let’s go to the snapshot, shall we:

You could say the Rapture index is a Dow Jones Industrial Average of end time activity, but I think it would be better if you viewed it as prophetic speedometer. The higher the number, the faster we’re moving towards the occurrence of pre-tribulation rapture.

Rapture Index of 85 and Below: Slow prophetic activity 
Rapture Index of 85 to 110:     Moderate prophetic activity 
Rapture Index of 110 to 145:    Heavy prophetic activity  
Rapture Index above 145:        Fasten your seat belts 
I begin to like this guy. He may be a religious nutter, but he's
the kind of religious nutter I'd like to have by my side at the end.

2003 High 177  2004 High 157 2005 High 161 2006 High 159
2003 Low  133  2004 Low  135 2005 Low  143 2006 Low  151

Record High 182        Record Low 57 
24 Sept 01              12 Dec 93

COMMENTS ON ACTIVE CATEGORIES
  02 Occult     The lack of activity has downgraded this category.
 03 Satanism:     Satanism is reported to be flourishing in Russia 
04 Unemployment:     The US job market shows signs of improvement.
05 Inflation:     Higher inflation has rattled the stock market. 
06 Interest Rates:     Federal Reserve raises the core interest rate to 4.75%
07 The Economy     The economies of The U.S. and Japan show healthy growth.
08 Oil Supply/Price     The price of oil climbs to around $70 per barrel.
09 Debt and Trade:     The U.S. federal and trade deficits hit new highs.
11 Leadership     During the past few weeks, several end-time categories have
 become locked in a holding patern. 

Heather has two mommy-caverns

Surf Safe!Well, it might not be Heather herself; it might not even be any Heather per se.

But this woman had better get a discount on tampons.

There have to be some consolations for going through life with two hoo-haws.

I lost my virginity twice. The first time was when I was eighteen. Then I lost the other side two weeks later. To the same guy. Flowertwat...there's a use for them.

You’d think I could have saved one of them for marriage.

From Esquire, (via Gawker) who really know how to give men what they want. So much for those gay rumours!

Ladyflower