Category Archives: Allegory

quiz: which wine are you?

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I’m the wine that never stops, as anyone who’s listened to me complain will verify.


You Are Pinot Noir


Sophisticated and worldly, you probably know more about wine than most drinkers.

You have great taste, and you approach all aspects of life with a gourmet attitude.

You believe that the little things in life should be cherished and enjoyed… and of the best quality possible.

And while you may take more time to eat a meal or tour a city, it’s always time well spent.Deep down you are: A seductive charmer

Your partying style: Refined. And you would never call it “partying”

Your company is enjoyed best with: Stinky expensive cheese

What Kind of Wine Are You?

Actually, some people tell me that being in my company is just like hanging around stinky cheese. I wonder what they mean by that? Camel Cheese, perhaps?

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National Salami Appreciation Day!

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Salami

Okay, so it’s a foreign country. Am I about to pass up a day dedicated to appreciation of the salami, just because it’s only declared south of the 49th parallel? Hardly; you just know that, as with all other trends, it’ll be in Vancouver in 26 months anyway.

So word reaches us at the ol’ raincoaster blog, via cafe cj, that September 7th is, in fact and in actuality, National Salami Appreciation Day. And lo, this is verily exactly the kind of holiday we here can get behind or even in front of, if asked nicely, for in truth we appreciate the salami to no small degree.

What’s your favorite way to celebrate National Salami Appreciation Day? Cafe CJ suggests a number of wholesome activities, although I must confess to a weakness for playing Hide the Salami. You?

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the Random Fortune Generator

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20 sided dieStolen from The Virtual Roadside, via the Generator Blog, and truly random in that fewer than half of the results are actually fortunes. I did get “you will have a fight with your supervisor” but given the fact that I am completely unsupervised, it fades towards meaninglessness…as does everything, really.

But it’s okay. I’ve still got my poetry.

A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing about

whose profession was the oldest. In the course of their arguments, they

got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon the doctor said, “The

medical profession is clearly the oldest, because Eve was made from Adam’s

rib, as the story goes, and that was a simply incredible surgical feat.”

The architect did not agree. He said, “But if you look at the Garden

itself, in the beginning there was chaos and void, and out of that the Garden

and the world were created. So God must have been an architect.”

The computer scientist, who’d listened carefully to all of this, then

commented, “Yes, but where do you think the chaos came from?”

mouldy oldies: why did the chicken cross the road

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Subservient Chicken crosses the road if you tell her to!

Stolen from the Silliness.org blog, which got it from god-knows-where, same place we all got it from: the email hole.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I’ve not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSAIN (this used to be Hitler, then Qadaffi)
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossing the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released chicken 99, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook-and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of chicken.

EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

GEORGE W. BUSH
I don’t think I should have to answer that question.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious?
Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the “other side.” That’s what “they” call it, the “other side”.
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like “the other side.” That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It’s as plain and simple as that.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the “black man” in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?

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when sturgeons attack!

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Landsharks in New Jersey. Movie stars mauled by legions of Australian jellyfish. Desert Sharks cruising the Outback. Great leapin’ sturgeon attacks! Who could be behind it all?

Putin Sturgeon

I understand politicans kissing babies; although babies don’t vote, their parents do. One has to wonder, however, if either Putin has now extended suffrage to Deep Ones or Chernobyl was really a helluva lot worse than they told us: can’t wait to get a gander at the proud parents of this one!

Cthulhu ’08, baby!

Cthulhu '08

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