quiz: which wine are you?

I’m the wine that never stops, as anyone who’s listened to me complain will verify.


You Are Pinot Noir


Sophisticated and worldly, you probably know more about wine than most drinkers.

You have great taste, and you approach all aspects of life with a gourmet attitude.

You believe that the little things in life should be cherished and enjoyed… and of the best quality possible.

And while you may take more time to eat a meal or tour a city, it’s always time well spent.Deep down you are: A seductive charmer

Your partying style: Refined. And you would never call it “partying”

Your company is enjoyed best with: Stinky expensive cheese

What Kind of Wine Are You?

Actually, some people tell me that being in my company is just like hanging around stinky cheese. I wonder what they mean by that? Camel Cheese, perhaps?

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

The Dairy Continuum

Camel cheese does not relate to this in any way, shape or form; to repeat, this has nothing whatsoever to do with camel cheese.Cheese diaries

Now, I’m not sure where this comes from. It could be something I vaguely remembered from a PJ O’Rourke book, from back when he was funny. That would put it in the mid Eighties, I think. Or it could be something I read in an Eighteenth Century French manuscript, or maybe Cotton Mather. Then again, perhaps cave inscriptions…who knows?

All I know is, dairy is immortal. It simply mutates into more expensive forms of dairy.

  • Spoiled milk is buttermilk
  • spoiled buttermilk is yogurt
  • spoiled yogurt is cottage cheese
  • spoiled cottage cheese is cream cheese
  • spoiled cream cheese is … cheese
  • spoiled cheese is … more expensive cheese
  • and so on…

This makes total sense to me, if not to my clean-living roomie.

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

camel cheese: Miss Camel beauty pageant

You didn’t think there could be more on the scintillating topic of camel cheese, didja? But there iiiiiiis! This makes the grade because it is both cameltacular and cheesy in the extreme.

BTW, doing well on Google for camel toe as well.

Those familiar with the JonBenet Ramsay case, the movie Little Miss Sunshine, or Sexually Repressed Eisenhower Maudlinism will recall that an industry exists devoted to the production and promotion of competitions of feminine beauty. Now, whether or not you believe that the best families show their daughters or their spaniels, you must admit that a beauty pageant is, if nothing else, a visually impressive and highly competitive event.

Even in Saudi Arabia.

Now, given your no-doubt intimate familiarity with the Wahabi code, you’re probably raising one, if not two or three eyebrows right now. Indeed, when I heard about the Qahtani tribe’s Mazayen al-Ibl competition, I expected it to look not unlike this:

Saudi vacation snaps

And award the winning beauty a stoning outside the city gates. But nooooooooooooo!

Instead, it looks like this:

Camel market Paul Cockrell

Yes, just as in Wiarton, Ontario the beauty queen is not Miss Wiarton but The Groundhog Queen (no, really, she is) in Guwei’iyya the most beautiful contestant is crowned Miss Camel. The only difference is, theirs more literally embodies the title noun. The Groundhog Queens of my youth (and there, surely, is a phrase you just don’t hear often enough, eh?) were really for the most part not hogs at all, nor, in the manner of small-town beauty queens, were they very grounded.

From Reuters, via the Camel’s Nose:

The legs are long, the eyes are big, the bodies curvaceous.

Contestants in this Saudi-style beauty pageant have all the features you might expect anywhere else in the world, but with one crucial difference — the competitors are camels.

This week, the Qahtani tribe of western Saudi Arabia has been welcoming entrants to its Mazayen al-Ibl competition, a parade of the “most beautiful camels” in the desolate desert region of Guwei’iyya, 120 km (75 miles) west of Riyadh.

“In Lebanon they have Miss Lebanon,” jokes Walid, moderator of the competition’s Web site. “Here we have Miss Camel…”

“Beautiful, beautiful!” the judge mutters quietly to himself, inspecting the group. Finalists have been decorated with silver bands and body covers.

“The nose should be long and droop down, that’s more beautiful,” explains Sultan al-Qahtani, one of the organizers. “The ears should stand back, and the neck should be long. The hump should be high, but slightly to the back.”

Yes, as in all beauty contests, the size and shape of the humps is critical.

camel cheese: the video!

Camel cheese; it’s not just for breakfast anymore.

More in our ongoing camel cheese coverage:

Ya learn something new every day, eh?

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

camel cheese

Camel CheeseCamel cheese is both food and a meme, concept and reality, challenge and reward.

Camel cheese, camel cheese, camel cheese. Camel cheese, camel cheese, camel cheese. Camel cheese, camel cheese, camel cheese. Camel cheese, camel cheese, camel cheese. Camel cheese, camel cheese, camel cheese.

Camel cheese is rumoured to be nonallergenic, and the production of camel cheese forms a surprisingly high-profile part of the GDP of Mauritania, thanks to the intervention of the former Essex Girl Nancy Jones and her 153Club.

Nancy Abeiderrahmane, born Nancy Jones of Essex, won the 1993 Rolex Award (£20,000) for her project to produce and export the cheese from her dairy in Nouakchott, Mauritania. However this is no ordinary dairy, since it specialises in pasteurising camel’s milk supplied by semi-nomadic herders.

I’m wondering how she gets the herders to stand still while they’re being milked. Surely there’s a YouTube vid?

At least we can rest easy knowing that the UN is on the case, enabling camel cheese making around the globe through their handy leaflet on the topic. Surely given the population of surplus camels and the inherent entrepreneurialism of its people, it cannot be long before Australia overtakes early leader Mauritania in the Camel Cheese Making Stakes. Truly, camel cheese production is a breakthrough that could not have happened in the dark ages of the Mid-Twentieth Century.

“Making cheese from the milk of a cow or a goat or even a yak is easy,” says Jean-Claude Lambert, an FAO dairy specialist. “Everything is known in terms of technology.” But camel milk was a different story because traditional rennet does not coagulate it. “Six years ago no one believed camel milk could be made into cheese,” says Mr Lambert.

In an attempt to solve the coagulation problems presented by the particular characteristics of camel milk, FAO commissioned Professor J.P. Ramet of the French Ecole nationale supérieure d’agronomie et des industries alimentaires to study how it could be done. After research and experimentation in Saudi Arabia and Tunisia, he found a way to curdle the milk by adding calcium phosphate and vegetable rennet.

Thus, camel cheese is the only variety of actual cheese (as opposed to vegan cheese, about which we will not speak) which is not made from the components of dead animals.

All of which is fascinating, but is not the reason I am making this blog post. After all, I do not, in fact, give a rat’s ass about camel cheese, as it is not actually available in Vancouver’s Chinatown and Vancouver’s Ethiopiatown is as yet too small to sustain a camel cheese shop.

I am, in fact and in actuality, making this blog post because Boris Mann (honestly, how many Borises do I know? You can’t swing a cat in here without hitting a Boris of one variety or the other) who is well aware of my beaver shots fame, dared me to hit the front page of Google with a blog post on Camel Cheese.

Camel cheese, camel cheese, camel cheese. Camel cheese, camel cheese, camel cheese. Camel cheese, camel cheese, camel cheese. Camel cheese, camel cheese, camel cheese. Camel cheese, camel cheese, camel cheese.

I said I’d make the #1 hit within 48 hours, which could have been the third beer talking, or maybe it was the Fruity Sailor; yes, let us blame it not on the wholesome Raven Cream Ale, but rather on the mysterious blend of chemicals which is the Alibi Room‘s Fruity Sailor. No matter what bad thing happens, if you blame it on the fruity sailor you encountered at ten o’clock on a full moon night on the Downtown Eastside, people are likely to believe you.

You can Google it.

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank