Category Archives: Blogging

the blogger rap

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Go on, say it. 

Here’s a little gem from The Assimilated Negro, who apparently gets these urges from time to time. We only give thanks he gets them when there’s a mic handy. Ladies and gentlemen, we present your new theme song.

Rough Draft: Blogging All Over New York

all over new york baby
center of the universe
the blogging here is so crazy right now
that’s why, when I see a girl
i walk right over to her
i’m like yo …

waddup girl, I’m a blogger
assimilated negro looking for fodder
and I’m not your average ipodder
kicking some game
you know my sh*t’s smart, funny,
plus a little insane
(hey)
see TAN is running this town
and if you got some wi-fi
I could show you around
that’s why anywhere online
you’ll be thinking of me
there’s so many blogrolls with people linking to me

And so on, much with the hyperlinkage. That’s the best part, actually. Full lyrics on the site here.

“And what is the use of a blog post,” thought Alice, “without hyperlinks and multimedia?”

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5 reasons why I blog

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Kid Blogger! The kid has promise. 

I got tagged for the 5 Reasons Why I Blog meme by Jeremy Jacobs, and answering it will be my entry in the engtech Blog Contest #1.

Do you remember when you were in elementary school and in English class once a week they would write five topics on the board and you would have to pick one of the topics and write a story about it? (oh, and also how they would give you lists of all kinds of different words you were supposed to learn {although I always wondered and worried, secretly, that if they knew I already knew those words they would penalize me in some way, so I played dumb. I would rule in a concentration camp!} and then use in a sentence? Well being literalminded-like, I used to use them all in one gargantumungous sentence, the Sentence That Wouldn’t Die!, the Energizer Bunny of sentences, and that used to piss my teachers off no end but they never did tighten up the wording of the assignment, so what’s with that, eh? I ask you) But quite a lot of the time I wouldn’t like any of the story subjects listed and even might have had a story or two that I wanted to write anyway and thought, like any good, lazy person, why should I write two including one I don’t want when I can write one that I do want instead? Indeed.

So, inevitably after every writing-the-titles-on-the-blackboard moment, the teacher would sit at his desk and brace himself for my approach.

“Do you mind if…” I’d always start, and usually it would go smoothly from there.

“What would happen if I said no?” asked Mr. Lindsay once, in a sudden and inexplicable fit of empowerment.

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Lord Krishna and the Milkmaids

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From the Archive
                  Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Krishna and the milkmaids

I read The Life of Pi recently, and loved it, but one story in particular has struck me. It just perfectly parallels one of the ongoing Inet dramas around. So here is the story.

                  Lord Krishna was a little bored with hanging out his usual haunts, being godlike, so he brainstormed and thought now what would be really, really different from being a god? I KNOW!
                  Being a cowherd! and indeed, it is hard to disagree, so being Krishna and all, he just went ahead and turned himself into a cowherd. Nowadays I’m sure he’d just go into a chat room and try to be cowherd like, but that was back then, okay?

                  So the god Krishna was a cowherd. Bully for him. Now, there wasn’t much to do as a cowherd. Watch the cows, sure, but you would not believe how fast that gets tired. And back then they had no honky-tonk bars. So what did Krishna do? Well Krishna, like many gods, has a sharp eye for a curvy mortal. What do cows have in terms of support staff, other than cowherds? They have milkmaids, my dear. And these were some good-looking milkmaids, too. And horny. And Krishna was like WooHoo!!! PARTY!!!

                  Every night he would sign on…I mean go out to the woods and dance with the milkmaids. He was a god, there was enough of him to go around. His abundance was such that there was enough of him to dance with all the milkmaids at once, and they were happy and Krishna was having a blast. This state of affairs continued for quite some time, and Krishna was by far the most popular cowherd around, rumours about his background notwithstanding, I think it was the dancing that made him so popular. But then, one night as the dance reached its height each girl felt, in her heart of hearts, as if he were dancing with her and her alone.

     At that moment, he vanished forever.

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I got a raise!

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Well, theoretically I did. If you know me at all you know that for me, money generally exists on the theoretical plane rather than the material one.

In any case, I went from this:


My blog is worth $57,583.08.
How much is your blog worth?

to this:


My blog is worth $90,326.40.
How much is your blog worth?

Now, if I just knew a bank that would give me a loan against equity…

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Operation Global Media Domination: the equuation

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Sometimes one can, if one examines one’s stats closely enough, begin to detect slight, almost microscopic changes that could lead one to believe that the Internet was responding to an entirely new set of demands.

Like today:

Search Engine Terms

These are terms people used to find your blog.

Today

Search Views
daniel radcliffe in equus poster 106
daniel radcliffe equus poster 60
Daniel Radcliffe in Equus 29
Daniel Radcliffe Equus 17
beaver shot 14

Yesterday

Search Views
donnie davies 78
beaver shots 43
daniel radcliffe equus 39
raincoaster 29
daniel radcliffe in equus 17

2007-01-30

Search Views
blackzilla 84
beaver shot 45
Donnie Davies 25
raincoaster 15
narnia 9

Looking for this?

Daniel Radcliffe and a horse in Equus

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