Hollywood Star o’ the Day: a bi-fecta of Cloris Leachman!

It appears that no force, however decadent, can resist the sheer human power of Cloris Leachman, in her eighties, giving it her showbiz all. Both the Fuggers and Defamer, two of the most selfconsciously jaded sites around, have fallen for Nurse Rached.

The Fuggers:

If you had said to me a year ago, “Heather, sometime in August 2006, you will see a photograph of Cloris Leachman wearing a foot-eating boho skirt, a strange, puffy white shirt, and a belt made of strips of leather that sits Federline-low — and she will not only look drunk, but she will be holding a keg over her head like she’s about to Donkey Kong that thing through a row of frat boys,” I would have smiled, told you that you looked very pretty in that outfit, and promptly delivered you to the nearest House of Bedlam, where you and your insane babble clearly would have belonged.

Cloris and Keg!

And from Defamer where, for once, no one dared defame the star:

Defamer Frozen Moments: Cloris Leachman Shows The Kids How It’s Done At ‘Beerfest’ Premiere
 At last night’s Grauman’s Chinese Theatre premiere of Beerfest, once octogenarian star Cloris Leachman was gently lowered back onto her feet by director Jay Chandrasekhar after completing a potentially life-threatening, five-minute keg stand, she punctuated the unexpected display of her incredible drinking capacity by hoisting aloft the fully drained keg and emitting a belch so powerful that it cracked the slab of concrete in the nearby courtyard containing Judy Garland’s handprints. “Top that, you little bitches,” challenged Leachman as she strolled past her much younger, tragically lightweight castmates and into the screening.

Thus, a Hollywood legend is born.

I’d like to thank the academy…if I thought any of them gave a rat’s ass…

practical uses for an Emmy

Well, it seems that those who are devalued by having their Emmys split off from the rest and consigned in the middle of a normal Wednesday, without benefit of television coverage, might be a tad bitter about it.

Whodathunkit?

From Defamer (and please excuse formatting weirdness; it’s WordPress’ fault!):

Take this novel Emmy-repurposing as a commentary on how some Creative Arts victors might feel about having their ceremony held in untelevised obscurity a week before the more glamorous primetime event if you must, but we find it a wholly practical use of a glittery eyesore that would otherwise be nothing more than a dust-collecting conversation piece going to waste on a mantel. In any event, we’re glad it’s being deployed as a toilet tissue holder and not a personal hygiene device, as the aureate angel’s pointed wings were clearly not designed to be placed anywhere near sensitive parts of the human anatomy.

Operation Global Media Domination: The Technorati Treatment

TIABrutal. Brutal.

For the first time in this young blog’s life, it’s been demoted, and that immediately after adding a snazzy “add to Technorati favorites” button in the sidebar.

Is this gratitude? I ASK YOU?!?!?

Breathe, raincoaster, breathe. Find the still centre. And strike from there with your whole being.

So, yesterday it seems there were 50.5 million blogs in the world, and mine was 49,000 and change. Today there are 52 million blogs and mine is Rank: 50,075 (182 links from 51 blogs) . And it’s forgotten all about the links from Liberty Forum and Nastyfuckingporn.com, as if they never existed, as if they never mattered.

NOT THAT I’M FUCKING BITTER!!!!!!

!

Oh, Perish the thought! I wonder how long it’ll take me to hunt down and exterminate 1.5 million bloggers?

Harcourt Fenton Mudd, a man after my own heart...and whatever it'll fetch on the open market

line o’ the day: BoingBoing on TWAT

from guess where:

The terrorists hate our freedom, so by eliminating the freedom, we can stop the terrorists from hating us.

The whole post:

RyanAir, the discount airline that’s threatened to RyanAir nekkids!sue the UK government over new security procedures has posted this provocative image to its website: a crowd of naked people running away from their piled-up clothes, with the caption “New Airport Security Procedures Put the Fun Back Into Flying.”

They’re onto something here. If the existence of a plot to use implausible liquid explosives against aircraft creates a global war on moisture at the airports, imagine what a similar plot to smuggle a bomb up a terrorist’s ass would engender. The war on moisture is bad, but it’s nothing compared to the inevitable war on body cavities.

The terrorists hate our freedom, so by eliminating the freedom, we can stop the terrorists from hating us. Link (Thanks, Michael!)

Update: Eileen sez, ” Looks like the outtake from a Spencer Tunick photo shoot.”

Sure, this is a publicity stunt by RyanAir, but I can think of worse targets. If safety were really an issue, I’d be the last person to have a problem with this. I’m always the one rolling my eyes at the brain-dead whiners who complain about de-icing. But the ridiculous TWAT measures are nothing more than a sophisticated way in training us to take crap from people in uniform, believing all the while that it’s for our own protection.

It’s not. It’s for theirs.

comment o’ the day: complacency as complicity

Slightly edited and stolen from Guido‘s blog, but I can do that because I’m the one that put it there. Besides, information wants to be free, right?

War

Someone asked if I thought Blair and Bush declared war on Iraq just for fun.

I don’t think they have wars for fun; I think they have wars to “secure their place in history” to outdo their fathers, and to gain or retain political power. Far more Americans and Brits have died as a result of their wars than died as a result of the terrorist attacks, and the effect of the tightening noose of fascism on the formerly free peoples of the US and the UK is a horrible thing to see.

It’s a kind of autoerotic asphyxiation. It is obscene.

They could never have done it without us. I never thought I’d witness it, but the easy acquiescence of the people to these controls is an offense to the eyes and the soul of every free-born human being. Britain is where representative democracy in its modern form originated, and America was forged in the belief that only the people who lived in a country had the right to decide how that country should be ruled.

What happened to that?

The government and popular actions of the past several years are nothing more than the grotesque spectacle of a citizenry falling on their knees to their rulers. Isn’t this the battle against tyranny we thought we’d won centuries ago?

If we give up our freedoms to preserve our pathetic skins, what exactly gives us our moral authority? When they say they’re bringing “Western-style democracy and freedoms” what can they possibly mean by that? The kind we’ve just forfeited?

As Benjamin Franklin said, those who would trade personal liberty for bodily safety deserve neither.