engtech, master of blogpimping, dropped this one into the comments section. I’m not above syphoning off his readership, so I’m re-posting this here. So there.
Harold is a Robot #2 – Sexual Innuendo
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melon baller!
Sometimes you run across evidence of another person’s sex life on the internet and you think:
- Wow. I guess I’m normal then.
- Wow. No wonder he’s got no life.
- Wow. Just: Wow.
I’m not sure if DefrostIndoors who passed this along to me wants her name, or even her alias, associated with this. I have no need to know how she stumbled across this. I have no urge to know how she stumbled across this. Really, I’m just going to assume she was trying to find a new kitchen utensil when she ran across the innovative, yet pathetic and disgusting…
“Ok i’ve had the melons since yesterday. Cost me about $5 for two of them. Now how do i carve the hole? I don’t want to make it too big.”
“oh yeah another thing i heated it up 2 minutes already and the inside is still hard. well it’s finally hot, but still hard. look’s like the melon’s not up for anything tonight. lol…”
Also, all that BlueBomber says is they got this off a forum and if you know anything about forums, you’ll know that you neither need nor want additional information. And yes, that’s where the pictures came from. You have just viewed fruit porn! I suppose these are NSFW if you work in the produce section. Paging Chad Vader! But do go to the site for more on the aftermath. I bet he didn’t even call the next morning!
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Pirates of the Great Salt Lake
Stolen from the Baby Jebus.
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When Giant Pacific octopi attack
Metro passes along this beauty of an installment in our ongoing series When Octopi Of Various Kinds Attack. Yes indeedy, we here on the soggy left coast of the continent sure know how to welcome tourists.
By strangling them with our tentacles.
I saw a strand of red kelp drifting by. I noticed a line of white suckers running along it. Next something heavy dumped on my head. Another tentacle with delicate suckers curled in from below and pulled my mask away from my face, flooding it. I felt other tentacles squeeze the right side of my face and pull on my hood. I’d last seen my dive buddy peering into a crevice — he didn’t appear, although I turned around a couple times hoping he might take a photo. I tried to brush the octopus off my head, but he squeezed all the tighter…
The thing I like about this post most, though, is the way the diver doesn’t seem to think the attack by a Giant Pacific Octopus merits its own blog post, or really anything more vivid than a simple “and then it did this and then I did that and it let me live and then I went back down [ed. note: WHA????] and took some more pictures and they turned out well and…” The man clearly has icewater in his veins, so he should fit right in around these parts.
You just know that tattoo is going to be all over the Drive in about three weeks!
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u got served
You got served, and so did everybody else. The Ronald McHummer McDonald’s sign generator, thanks to Juvenal for passing it along.
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raincoaster 