Zees queez fhrom Jhoovaynal, eet ees ab-seurd! Aye aym newt a hway-teur!

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Category Archives: Blogroll
six-word stories
There are an infinite to the power of ten number of games, tricks, memes, generators, and other gizmos to give writers the well-deserved smack on the bottom or the top that they need to be really creative, including Flash Fiction. One of the best Flash Fiction sites is David B. Dale‘s, and fortunately the standard there is high enough to give some feeble hope to us skeptics. Not enough, though, to override my belief that in very few cases do these artificially confining pretences lead to actually great writing. I can think of Ramsay Campbell‘s short story, “Heading Home,” which literally could not have been done in any art form other than writing. It is the least-filmable piece ever committed to mass market paperback. There is also the great Dorothy Parker‘s perfect poem “Two-Volume Novel,”
The sun’s gone dim, and
The moon’s turned black;
For I loved him, and
He didn’t love back.
But this, six-word flash fiction, and perhaps the most restrictive of those challenges, takes inspiration from this great work of Ernest Hemingway‘s
For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn.
How much daring must a human being have to go up against competition like this, or even to exist in the same sphere? Hemingway himself said it was his best work, and he was no slouch in the work or opinion departments, for all his boozing.
This is the roundup that Wired magazine collected from some of the top SciFi writers today(stolen from Wil Wheaton), and I must say that, however neat the idea, this is one sad sack of sentences. While some of them would make a good first line for a conventional novel
Kirby had never eaten toes before.
– Kevin Smith
most of them are rather laurel-resty
Don’t marry her. Buy a house.
– Stephen R. Donaldson
Hearteningly, a scant handful actually live up to the challenge and do justice to the reputations of the writers. It lights a fire in my soul and the souls of all good readers and writers when we see good or great writers writing this well:
It’s behind you! Hurry before it
– Rockne S. O’Bannon
Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
– Margaret Atwood
Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time
– Alan Moore
And here, to leave you with our ambiguously depressing thought for the day, is Hemingway’s Nobel Prize acceptance speech, as read at the banquet by the American ambassador to Sweden. At two minutes and ten seconds, it is in its own right Flash Speechifying, but nonetheless eternal for that. If the player doesn’t work for you the text over the jump, and here is a Realplayer version of Hemingway himself reading it; if any of you can convert that horrific medium to an MP3 I would be much obliged.
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Cthulhu ’08!
Look, he’s got a new campaign manager! This should be teh awesomeness!

I always wondered what Dean was yelling. Stolen from It’s a Definite Maybe.
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God hates fags
Donnie Davies says so, and sang so, so, so very eloquently that it brought tears to the eyes of many a listener for many a happy hour until tragedy struck.
It’s true.
Well friends, YouTube took down the video that Evening Service and I have worked so hard on. I don’t know what hurts more; being censored because of my message or people making fun of my weight. Hopefully MySpace believes in freedom of expression more than Google does. Maybe China isn’t the only country Google is censoring. ;-)
Spread the Word
Keep the FaithDonnie D.
ps. If any of ya’ll post the video anywhere else please tell us!
(Oh, you mean like here?)
Donnie Davies, PastorDavies on AIM if you’re looking to chat (paging Mark Foley!), heads up Love God’s Way, an organization of passionately engaged Christians with a mission to help the bent go straight. They have helpful lists of Gay Bands (Eminem! Who knew???Oh, my mistake: he’s talking about Em in men!) and Safe Bands (Cyndi Lauper: again, who knew???) Here is a pullquote from their program page, CHOPS.
“Suffering is one very long moment. We cannot divide it by seasons. We can only record its moods, and chronicle their return. With us time itself does not progress. It revolves. It seems to circle round one centre of pain.”
–Oscar Wilde (reformed homosexual)So What is This About?
C.H.O.P.S is the powerful new program developed by Christian Youth expert Donnie Davies. C.H.O.P.S stands for CHANGING HOMOSEXUALS into ORDINARY PEOPLE…
You are not alone and guess what, God Loves You even if he hates your Homosexuality. You just can’t stay that way. Let me help you love yourself. Follow me and together we’ll C.H.O.P.S away the Gay.
And, from Davies’ own personal website:
Oscar Wilde, my hero, was a reformed homosexual. He went to prison for his sins. Once he was alone with his thouhgts, in jail, he saw the errors of his ways and repented. He died as a Christian. While I’m not advocating jailing all Homosexuals, I do think it would benefit them greatly. It would be for their own good. When a person is forced to think they will generally be able to see their problems and solve them by themselves.
Davies‘ band, the aptly-titled “Evening Service” recorded their touching tune “The Bible Says” only today, but after only a brief flowering of press attention YouTube pulled the plug. Right now, it’s up on Evening Service‘s page here (for now). Anybody got a good capture program?
For an update on Donnie and his crusade, click here.
Let’s go to the lyrics, which I have in full over the jump:
Read the bible and you’ll be sure
To enter heaven. There’s no back door.
Oh righteous man, go down on your knees,
there lies no virtue in sodomy…
God hates a fag. God hates a fag.
God hates a fag.If you’re a fag, He hates you too.
Well, I think it’s Cristal clear that, among a certain crowd, those lyrics would be packing quite a punch. Indeed, the viral spread of this video (#78 on YouTube today) recorded by a raggedy-assed crew at Studio #54 shows that it had really touched the global village, people, and in a very special way.
We shall give the good Reverend the last word; here is his introductory video, still miraculously untouched on YouTube. But it’s only a matter of time before it’s chaste offline.
Lyrics to the now-infamous The Bible Says over the jump!
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quiz: which Edgar Allan Poe poem are you?
Not a whole lot to choose from in this quiz, but what the hell…it’s Shebeen Club day, I’ve got two job applications and a report do to before I go to bed, and I’m running around like a raven with my tiny birdie teeth ripped out. That’s a doubly-obscure reference, for those of you who think Poe is a waiflike Nineties singer.
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You scored as Annabel Lee. Virginia Eliza Clemm Poe was dubbed as Lenore, Annabel Lee, and others in her husbands poems. She was his child bride who died when Poe was 38. He died two years later. this poem shows that love has an extreme importance to you, and even if that love stops, it never dies.
Which Edgar Allan Poe poem are you? |
