Donnie Davies: Take My Hand

CHOP CHOP!

YES! Ladies, Gentlemen, and those of indeterminate gender! It’s the triumphant return of musical preacher Donnie Davies of Love God’s Way Ministry, originator of the world-famous CHOPS program (Changing Homosexuals into Ordinary People), and singer of the top radio hit God Hates a Fag. Here he is with his new, uplifting single Take My Hand.

Can’t you just feel the love?

Mr Brains’s Faggot Family of Doodys

Betty and Me and Theo and Clay and Mike 

Words.

Fail.

Me.

From the BBC, for the LOVE OF THE SWEET BABY JESUS, via Reddit:

A West Midlands family is playing a central role in the quest to raise the profile of a forgotten British dish – faggots.

The Doody family from Wolverhampton has been crowned The Faggot Family in a national competition, and to kick off their reign they will launch National Faggot Week.

The family will be touring the country extolling the virtues of the dish, which is best-known for its links with the Black Country.

Oh, they just had to get racism in there too, didn’t they?

Also: bonus headline on that page:

What’s in the great British banger?

Probably Jude Law’s DNA.

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Donnie Davies confronts Joey Oglesby: what MTV doesn’t want you to see!

Headbutts by angry gay midget tag teams? HeteroFuel supplements? Ladies and gentlemen, this has gone too far.

Here is the raw video of Donnie Davies’ appearance on MTV and the confrontation with Joey Oglesby, the rumoured imposter. It includes shocking footage the network has tried to suppress.

At the time of this post, there had been only four views of this video; don’t let this go the way of God Hates a Fag. Paste it in your blogs, in your websites, play it in your iPods and on your campus television stations. UPDATE: Ooopsie, too late. UPDATED UPDATE: It’s back for the moment, and re-installed.

Watch this video of Todd Quillen defending himself against charges he’s Donnie Davies instead:

and this video investigation by some Web mythbusters, which includes the shocking footage of Joey Oglesby from the video which has been removed.

And for those of you who say I’m taking this too seriously, you need to back off; I was born this way, I can’t help myself sometimes.

We all just need to back up Donnie Davies and lend him a hand.

Fruity!

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Donnie Davies speaks!

Donnie Davies

And he is speaking to YOU! from the comments on this very blog. And here is what Donnie Davies had to say:

Thanks so much for the support, everybody. I tell you what, mysterious electronic attacks, phone calls from untracable numbers that claim to be the U.S. Postal Service offering to deliver lost packages and an enormous amount of hate mail is enough to make any Minister shrink from God’s mission. But I tell you friends, we can’t let ourselves be intimidated by the influence of a few well placed psychopaths. Liberty is the foundation of this Nation Under God and the people have the right to chose their own messages and have the right to read them as well.

Some people might think this is some kind of organized conspiracy against the message of the Westboro Baptist Church. I didn’t realize when I wrote my song that it might compete with their message. I mean, I was utterly clueless to that. Now that the DJs keep asking me about it I had to think about it and I think people in America have a right to chose their own message. That’s not the same thing as censorship. No one has a right to utterly control what you see, what you hear and what you think. That’s fundamentally anti-American and you should fight it with a resolve that strikes to the very core of your being even if it risks everything you have, otherwise America risks losing everything it is and should be.

First MySpace deleted my account and now they have deleted the account of our band. First they censored me and now they’ve censored people I’m connected to. If you are a MySpace user, don’t allow this. Every one of you who believes in the Freedom of Expression, whether you like our song or not, needs to step up to bat.

This is the time. Now.

Once again, for good measure, here is the song, high-quality on the Evening Service website, and as my crappy to-spite-YouTube copy below.

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God hates a fig

I had no idea God hated so much. Shrimp. Fags. Figs.

This site has everything a crazed zealot could ask for: a purportedly divinely-dictated screed, vaguely relevant Bible quotations, a list of handy-dandy propaganda (Are You Being Oppressed for Your Intolerance?), a guide to recognizing closet fig-eaters, you name it!

God totally hates theological potholes too!

The Evil In Our Midst

How long can we ignore the mountain of evidence that figs are corrupting our culture? We as a society must stand up now to oppose this fruity scourge before we find figs in our classrooms, in our church picnics and even on our television screens! The cultural elite is determined to shove figs down our throat, and we must be equally determined to oppose the figgy tide.

Next time your child leaves the home with a full lunchbox, stop and check for malevolent influences. Satan only needs a few snacktimes to worm his way into your child’s heart.

Still not convinced that figs are the greatest threat to our great Judeo-Christian culture since Amy Grant started putting pornographic messages backwards on her records?

Consider the following:

  • Figs are associated with science, which is inherently anti-religion. The most popular fig snack, the one your children are probably eating right now, is named after Sir Isaac Newton, one of the leading figures of the Enlightenment. The Enlightenment, of course, was when all those painters dug up dead bodies so they could draw naked people more accurately. That led to the French Revolution and the fall of Western Civilization. And it’s still going on today!
  • The Enlightenment was also when Rene Descartes proved beyond doubt that God existed! They couldn’t have that, of course, so they went and locked him in an oven until he lost all his senses. After that, he just went around babbling about cognitive ergonomics, which is something to do with office furniture for Godless yuppies.
  • A simple misprint in the Torah led Jews to avoid eating pork and ham for millenia, when in fact everyone knows God really meant to tell them to avoid eating any part of a fig.
  • If that’s not enough, take a look at any science textbook or–God forbid–sex education book. Next to every single one of the perverted diagrams, you’ll see the words “Fig 1, fig 2, fig 3…” That’s because the soldiers of the Evil Army get a fig every time they warp a young and impressionable mind…

Yep, seems pretty clear-cut to me! God does, in fact, hate figs. God is just like me!!!

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