Git Outtahere!

You need to be over at to read my Steve Jobs roundup. The world is smaller, quieter, duller, and scarier without him.

over Steve Jobs’ dead body

Steve Jobs’ Grave. iDied.

Note: Belkin dock

UPDATE; if you got here after October 4th, 2011, you want to look at this post too. It’s my tribute to Steve.

lolgoth #18: Trent versus the record companies

Stole this one from lolnin, with which there is much crossover on the LolGoth project, as you can imagine. Worry not, LolGothFans (both of you), I shall get cracking on a new series and post my long-delayed Henry LOLins as soon as I get a decent image program installed on this laptop. MS Paint? I wouldn’t paint a barn with that piece of crap!

ninvisible record executive

Now, with added backstory!


It’s a very odd time to be a musician on a major label, because there’s so much resentment towards the record industry that it’s hard to position yourself in a place with the fans where you don’t look like a greedy asshole…I know people have it and I know it’s on everybody’s iPods, but the climate is such that people don’t buy it because it’s easier to steal it.

You’re a bit of a computer geek. You must have been there, too?

Oh, I understand that — I steal music too, I’m not gonna say I don’t. But it’s tough not to resent people for doing it when you’re the guy making the music, that would like to reap a benefit from that. On the other hand, you got record labels that are doing everything they can to piss people off and rip them off. I created a little issue down here because the first thing I did when I got to Sydney is I walk into HMV, the week the record’s out, and I see it on the rack with a bunch of other releases. And every release I see: $21.99, $22.99, $24.99. And ours doesn’t have a sticker on it. I look close and ‘Oh, it’s $34.99’. So I walk over to see our live DVD Beside You in Time, and I see that it’s also priced six, seven, eight dollars more than every other disc on there. And I can’t figure out why that would be.

Did you have a word to anyone?

Well, in Brisbane I end up meeting and greeting some record label people, who are pleasant enough, and one of them is a sales guy, so I say “Why is this the case?” He goes “Because your packaging is a lot more expensive”. I know how much the packaging costs — it costs me, not them, it costs me 83 cents more to have a CD with the colour-changing ink on it. I’m taking the hit on that, not them. So I said “Well, it doesn’t cost $10 more”. “Ah, well, you’re right, it doesn’t. Basically it’s because we know you’ve got a core audience that’s gonna buy whatever we put out, so we can charge more for that. It’s the pop stuff we have to discount to get people to buy it. True fans will pay whatever”. And I just said “That’s the most insulting thing I’ve heard. I’ve garnered a core audience that you feel it’s OK to rip off? F— you’. That’s also why you don’t see any label people here, ‘cos I said ‘F— you people. Stay out of my f—ing show. If you wanna come, pay the ticket like anyone else. F— you guys”. They’re thieves. I don’t blame people for stealing music if this is the kind of s— that they pull off.

Where does that extra $10 on your album go?

That money’s not going into my pocket, I can promise you that. It’s just these guys who have f—ed themselves out of a job essentially, that now take it out on ripping off the public. I’ve got a battle where I’m trying to put out quality material that matters and I’ve got fans that feel it’s their right to steal it and I’ve got a company that’s so bureaucratic and clumsy and ignorant and behind the times they don’t know what to do, so they rip the people off.

Given all that, do you have any idea how to approach the release of your next album?

I’ve have one record left that I owe a major label, then I will never be seen in a situation like this again. If I could do what I want right now, I would put out my next album, you could download it from my site at as high a bit-rate as you want, pay $4 through PayPal. Come see the show and buy a T-shirt if you like it. I would put out a nicely packaged merchandise piece, if you want to own a physical thing. And it would come out the day that it’s done in the studio, not this “Let’s wait three months” bulls—.

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the jPod expansion pack has arrived!

jPod Orca

But not technically landed. via Fark.

It’s pinkish and smiley. It’s stuck to its momma’s side, rising in and out of the waves like a shiny merry-go-round creature…

Scientists won’t know if the calf is a male or female until it rolls over and shows its belly. They do know it belongs to a family of local orcas called the J pod. And they know it has three siblings.

That’s good news for the little orca, which is being called J42 according to birth order.

The unit automatically upgrades to Carnivore in 12-24 months, and has an expected window of operability of between 20-40 years, depending on usage.

Note that installation of the jPod unit in a SeaWorld environment may void your warranty.

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MC Nuts vs the Shat: rapping the classics, old skool

I love that the YouTube post for the following says, with a boundless and entirely irrational optimism, “See for more like this,” almost as if you’d want to. The shrivelled and crusty cockles of one’s heart are bewarméd at their boyish enthusiasm and entirely unjustifiable pride in product. You GO, girlfriends!

How not to rap the classics: with a cheap squirrel costume, rancid moves, a transparent mercenaric desperation to appeal to “yoof,” and an intrusive fake “street” accent, eg the Lake Country‘s tourism campaign’s would-be-viral video of Wordsworth‘s great Romantic poem, “I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud“.  

Contagious? Like ebola, baby! This thing has infected hard drives all over the world and, in fact, any laptop laid on a table that’s had an electronic device that has played this within the last thirty days is 80% likely to have its circuits liquified, spewing silicon in horrific gushes from every oriface.

Now, watch how it should be done, by that master of subtlety, The Shat!

Honestly, when William. Fucking. Shatner. pulls this off better than you, it’s time to turn in your Norton Anthology.

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