don’t be a douche: listen to Jack Black

via BoingBoing. Jack Black, international rock god, movie idol, and philosopher, wants to stamp out piracy, and he’s sending us this message in the form of an embeddable YouTube vid with a copyright notice and the cover of his latest album one sheet for his new Tenacious D movie. Hmmmmmm…

extreme halloween!!!

Ia! Ia! Cthulhu nafhtagn! Cthulhu trikrtriit! 

Or at least extreme jack o’lanterns.

I rarely post anything anyone sends me, which is a shame, as I am very lazy, yo. But I’m just contrarian enough to reject the help when people offer it for free.

Except when they offer this: jack o’lanterns from Extreme Pumpkin, in the shape of an octopus attacking a fish and a flaming tiki god. Thanks, Metro!

flaming tiki god jackolantern!

suffragettes died for this? mid-Atlantic update

The title I stole from Guido Fawkes, as I also stole the invitation below; a more missable evening of patronizing “entertainment” and ugly bridesmaid shoes I have never seen. This is what the Brits think will engage women voters and have them rushing the polling places like they were selling Manolos at half price! If you vote Green, do you get 10% off Birkenstocks?

if I vote Labour, do I get birkenstocks?

However…

This is what Gawker unearthed today, and it shows the Americans to be equally stereotypical, issue-free, and patronizing.

Seriously, I think I need a girl drink

Conan O’Brian does the Monster Mash

Stolen from Gawker. Why is it that none of the tall, handsome white boys can dance?

Saudi single seeks same…if not same species

A boy and his goatSo I’m cross-posting this from a comment on Guido’ s site. As he says, if you don’t like it take a full refund and don’t come back. But it was my comment anyway, so I shall paste it here unabashedly, not that I’ve ever been abashed, cuz you all know I’d-a bashed him right back.

My mother worked in the King Fahd hospital in Saudi Arabia back in the 80’s, and one day an unmarried Saudi fellow came in with a diagnosis of a ruptured penis. And for several days he remained in the hospital, taking wincingly painful daily walks in the hallway, drawing a fair bit of attention, as he walked so slowly anyone else could have run a marathon in the time it took him to do a lap around the ward.

Now, unmarried Saudi men are not supposed to be doing anything with their penises that could rupture them. They’re not particularly supposed to notice that they have penises until they’re married, except to ensure the pee isn’t dribbling down their legs.

So the medical transcriptionist was curious. And so was the entire pool of medical transcriptionists. So they asked my mother to find out how it happened, my mother being an unabashed sort (acorn not falling far from tree and all that).

So she did.

She walked up to the doctor who’d examined the patient and asked him point-blank, “So how did that patient rupture his penis? All the typists are dying to know!”

The doctor rolled his eyes, then looked left, looked right, waited till the coast was clear, then leaned in and whispered:

The goat bolted.

sigil of Baphomet