Category Archives: Canada

Return from Ruralopolis!

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Ruralopolis sure is pretty

Ruralopolis sure is pretty

Well, as I mentioned in the previous post, I have returned from Ruralopolis. I have returned, my friends, only to find Kate had her baby when I wasn’t around to cover it, Jennifer Aniston is probably married, Dennis Farina is dead, and the Daily Dot got hacked by the Syrian Electronic Army. Fuck, that’s the last time I go on vacation! Everything falls to pieces without me.

But for those of you who’ve been following my Flickr stream, you’ll know I haven’t been idle. I’ve been dashing about from Hither, a sprawling metropolis featuring actual hitching posts, to Yawn, the megalopolis which boasts not one! but two! mini golf courses, and taking pictures all along the way and particularly of the food. So I didn’t leave Vancouver behind me completely. I wasn’t expecting much in the way of entertainment, and was not disappointed. One night we could listen to the coyotes while sitting in the hot tub sipping wine, and that was quite enough excitement for me after the year I’ve had.

Imagine, then, my astonishment to come across an amazing musical duo, deep in the heart of the northernmost reaches of the Great Sonora Desert! These guys apparently play sold-out stadium shows all over, in the big urban centres, from the Spallumcheen to Olalla, not neglecting the Rez-taurant in Ruralopolis. Enjoy their soothing sounds and sophisticated syncopations as they lay down some slick lounge grooves.

The Vacation So Far

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For those of you who haven’t been following along on the Food Blog, here’s what the vacation looks like so far. I’m due at a crab fest on the Island on Saturday, but unless SOMEBODY pays me before then, I’ll be trapped here. Oh, poor me.

As you can see, it’s a nonstop grind. Oh, the pressure!

Attention: we’re all fucked

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Uh-oh.

Orca Flight

Orca Flight

Yep, we’re all fucked, ladies and gentlemen. This image (stolen from Facebook) clearly shows that British Columbian killer whales have learned how to fly. And oh, you smug land-going krill? You’re not safe either, as this footage of a flying humpback demonstrates. Being heavier, it’s harder for them to achieve and maintain the airborne state, but once they master this, no life-form is safe.

THEY ARE COMING

Buy the Rob Ford Crack Tape! an Indiegogo project

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Rob Ford and Pals

Rob Ford and Pals

Ladies and Gentlemen, by now you’ve heard the rumour that Rob Ford, mayor of Toronto, has been caught on video smoking crack (and wearing unbecoming clothing). The owner of the video wants $100,000 for it, apparently not figuring that Ford would have that much hush money handy. That’s only three cents from each Canadian, so I thought it would make a nice exercise in national unity for us all to band together and buy this thing.

I sensed a need. I filled it.

Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting the IndieGoGo fundraiser: Buy Rob Ford’s Crack Tape!

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has a lot of enemies. Do any of them have enough hatred to band together and purchase what editor John Cook of Gawker says is video of Rob Ford smoking crack?

Is it even worth $100,000? Maybe not to one Canadian, but to all Canadians?

This Victoria Day, let the nation band together, from sea to shining sea, from the far North to the southernmost reaches of Ontario, as one, united in their distaste for this mortifying homunculus.

For just three cents per citizen, we can assure the final ruin of Ford’s colourful, storied, allegedly indictable celebrity once and for all.

Are you with me, Canada? I SAID ARE YOU WITH ME???

*if we don’t reach the magical goal (asking price + 4% Indiegogo fee) we will make a bid of whatever we’ve gathered. If the bid is rejected, we don’t need your money after all.

Meanwhile, in Washington, DC:

https://twitter.com/lizzieohreally/status/335195197443043329

Meanwhile, in Vancouver:

https://twitter.com/boring_as_heck/status/335245494467035136

Get a 2013 FLSTC Heritage Softail Black HARLEY DAVIDSON for $20

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2013 FLSTC Heritage Softail Black HARLEY DAVIDSON

2013 FLSTC Heritage Softail Black HARLEY DAVIDSON

Ain’t she a beaut? And she’s worth $22,000 to boot. Think of what a fabulous mid-life crisis pressie she would be for, oh, I dunno, ME?

How can she be yours for a mere $20 you ask? Read on and I will tell you. You’re welcome.

The Okanagan Falls 2nd Annual Bike Rally organizers have generously chosen the South Okanagan’s very own Okanagan International Children’s Festival as the charity for their annual raffle!

GRAND PRIZE: 2013 FLSTC Heritage Softail Black HARLEY DAVIDSON
(Value: $22,678, BC Gaming Event License #51717)

1 ticket for $20 (Must be 19+ to purchase a ticket.)

‘Attend’ this event, and you will be contacted with an opportunity to buy your tickets. Or contact Administrator(s) directly!

SPREAD THE WORD! Support the Festival and WIN A HARLEY!

Only 3500 tickets printed!

Outlets

Bayley’s Brew Ha Ha, 103-1652 Fairview Rd Penticton

Burger 55, 85 Westminster Avenue East, Penticton

CG Custom Motorcycles, 288 Westminster Ave W, Penticton

The Grooveyard, 239 Main Street, Penticton

Call Okanagan International Children’s Festival Office for ticket details and times to purchase direct 250-493-8800.

Locations

April 7, 13, 14 & 21 – Cherry Lane Shopping Centre, 230 – 2111 Main Street, Penticton

Watch for other venues to be announced.

Draw date: May 12, 2013 at 5pm
OK Falls Hotel 1054 Main Street, Okanagan Falls, BC V0H 1R0

To see the rules of play go to www.okchildrensfest.org

Chances are 1 in 3,500 (total tickets for sale) to win a grand prize.
BC Gaming Event Licence #51717.
Problem Gambling Help Line 1-888-795-6111 Know your limit, play within it. 19+
www.bcresponsiblegambling.ca

Selah.