I always knew it: I’m perfect!
“raincoaster, raincoaster, raincoaster,” says Jan. Yeah, whatever. Fake Jan was better anyway.
You Are Marcia Brady |
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Category Archives: Celebrity
RIP Larry “Bud” Melman: a cheap cigar in the wind
It is with a heavy heart that I inform that infinitesimal percentage of the world not already in deep mourning that Calvert deForest (Larry “Bud” Melman), who lived his life like a cheap, smelly cigar in the wind, has gone to that great Green Room in the Sky. David Letterman, who gave “Melman” his start in show business, is reported to be inconsolable.
Cheap, Smelly, Old-Man’s Cigar in the Wind
Goodbye butt of jokes,
may you ever bitch, groan and whine.
You were the ass that placed himself
where you’d be a bad punchline.
You called out to our slackers,
and you babbled to insomniacs.
Now you belong to heaven,
and the stars know you were whack.
And it seems to me you lived your life
like a curmudgeon in the wind:
never getting even one clue
when Letterman set in.
And your footsteps will always thud here,
along New York’s sleazy halls;
your cigar’s burned out long before
you ever lost your balls.
Crankiness we’ve lost;
these empty nights without your roar.
This torch we’ll always carry
for our nation’s favorite bore.
And even though we try,
the truth brings us to tears;
all our words cannot express
the joy you brought us through the years.
Goodbye New York’s joke,
from a country lost, without a soul,
who’ll miss the chance to laugh at you
more than you’ll ever know.
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Operation Global Media Domination: Etiquette: sharing the glory
Not that, in our current Photobusted state, there’s much glory to go around, but still.
The sharp-eyed and sharper-brained among you will notice that not long ago I began making my images live links to their source websites (at least for the first occurance; after that it gets harder to keep track). It seems to me that this is the least I can do for the people who make and upload images, and it gives them a bit of the Googlejuice; also, I’ve yet to have a complaint about it.
It all started in this post, which was linked to by ECNPA, a photography association, some of whose forum members became seriously irate that I’d used the images at all. As you can see from the first comment, the photographers in question weren’t nearly so outraged, but it nudged me into thinking about ways to give credit where credit was due: after all, always I do that for text, no exceptions. Why should other art forms be treated differently? And this was the best workaround I could come up with; it shows the image in context and has, at least once, resulted in a commenter leading us to the actual, original source, rather than the bogus blogscraper that I’d gotten it from originally.
So I’d encourage people to post images, and to properly accredit those images with a link. The webmasters will like that as well. The photo agencies currently suing Perez Hilton have publically stated that if they had only been given credit for the photos this wouldn’t have gone to court, and I for one will take them at their word although it must be said that it’s much easier for someone dirt poor to face a lawsuit because the entire realm of monetary awards resides entirely in the theoretical sphere, and everyone knows it. They may or may not be sincere.
Still, picture it:
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Brit quits
A few days short of the standard rehab dosage of 28, Britney Spears is once more unleashed and roaming the streets of SoCal. Lock up your Persis Khambatta fanboys! The paparazzi are reportedly respecting her request for privacy and taking refuge in umbrella-proof armoured Humvees for self-defence.
“Britney Spears has been released by the Promises Malibu Treatment Center after successfully completing their program. We ask that the media respects her privacy as well as those of her family and friends at this time.”
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long-lost Rolling Stones recording resurfaces
on the back of a Rice Krispies box…and thanks to the blog Phil Spector at WordPress.
Indeed, back in the day all bands, no matter how selflessly dedicated to sheer artistic integrity at all costs, were forced at gunpoint to record cheesy commercial jingles, mostly (for some reason) for beverages, electrically acidified or not. The Rolling Stones, it turns out, were no exception.
In between hearty bouts of celebrating the Black Mass, mystic groupie-groping orgies, and the occasional refreshing snack break, the boys found time to sandwich in the recording of a jingle for Kellogg’s Rice Krispies in October of 1963. Imagine the segue: “Okay boys, that’s a wrap on Little Red Rooster, but now we’ve got something else for you…”
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raincoaster 