Her Royal Highness Minnie Driver

That just works on so many levels.

Princess Anastasia Jerusalem

From the mug shots it appears that former Hollywood “It Girlfriend” Minnie Driver may have been spending the latter part of her extended hiatus (extended from approximately the wrap of Grosse Point Blank) in Norway, playfully pranking the locals who apparently didn’t read People in the early Nineties and thus had no idea that they were supposed to, like, catch on to the fact that the woman claiming to be one Princess Anastasia Jerusalem was, in fact, an acclaimed international actress and accomplished and widely respected musician.

It’s a joke, see. She’s not really crazy.

Although I hear Matt Damon may be of a slightly different opinion.

Aftenposten, via Fark.

The woman, who calls herself Anastasia Jerusalem, speaks Spanish and English and was first arrested in Oslo on July 15 this year. She was released on condition that she report in regularly and has since been in Bergen.

Authorities have been unable to identify her, and do not even know what country she is from…

Her PR is so getting shitcanned for that line.

Mr Mojo’s Christmas

In keeping with the season and with our quiz results, raincoaster presents Jim Morrison singing his uniquely druggy and poetic Christmas carols. And we still think he sucks.

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Technorati me!

1812: the rematch online

True Patriot Love... 

It’s that special time of year, the time we all look forward to, the time when wishes come true.

The time when we get to lord it over Americans.

The time when Yahoo releases its top searches for each country. Le voila!

 Canadian Searches

  1. NHL Canadian, obviously
  2. FIFA World Cup International, obviously. And we even know what the game is called!
  3. American Idol Yank wannabe celebrity wank
  4. Rock Star Supernova ditto Canadian rock star reality show
  5. WWE I have no idea what this is and if I did, I’d pretend I didn’t: it just sounds tacky. Everything with two W’s in the acronym sounds like something Joe Weider was involved in, and that just reeks of klass-with-a-kapital-k. Even if he was from Montreal.
  6. Neopets Wholesome kid’s site
  7. Revenue Canada Canuckistani bagmen who give us homework
  8. Days of Our Lives Yank soap opera. But it does take place on the Great Lakes, which is as good as on the border. The characters are all dull and hence, closet Canadians.
  9. Environment Canada Canuckistan is way green, y’all
  10. Jessica Simpson Even Canadians like to watch synthetic Barbies in tight dresses, it seems. At least this one can sing, more or less.

U.S. Searches

  1. Britney Spears Twatflasher
  2. WWE see Canadian list
  3. Shakira Columbian hottie singer/dancer of some talent
  4. Jessica Simpson Overly-produced, silicone and restylane enhanced singer/actress of moderate talent, known for taking it up the butt from Johnny Knoxville
  5. Paris Hilton Twatflasher, porn star, celebutard
  6. American Idol See Canadian list
  7. Beyoncé Knowles former Destiny’s Child, sleeping with Jay-Z
  8. Chris Brown who?
  9. Pamela Anderson Canadian actress, porn tape star, serial large-penis marrying tabloid dream
  10. Lindsay Lohan Started the Twatflashing vogue.

Next year, anyone want to bet the #1 will be “Beaver shots?” Canada wins either way.

Karla upskirt shots any day now

safe sex, British-style

With Hugh Laurie, Dawn French, Rowan Atkinson (as “Mr. R”) and Stephen Fry as the suave emcee. So you know it’s going to be totally educational.

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Technorati me!

keeping family traditions alive, Jessica Simpson fucks up onstage

I disagree strongly with the websites calling this a “freakout.”

A freakout is ripping your extensions out and beating up your guitarist with drumsticks while tearfully screaming at the audience “You just don’t get it! You just don’t love me enough!”

Having to hold up your strapless dress, forgetting the words to a song, and running offstage in tears is simply having a Blonde Moment. Hell, Dolly Parton split her dress right up the middle and merely borrowed a coat to go onstage to collect her Grammy; that, ladies and gentlemen, is the difference between a pro and a flash in the pan. Actually, come to think of it, Jessica’s the only one who hasn’t flashed lately. Give it five minutes, though.